14 year old DS and puberty

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My DS turned 14 in November and isn’t showing many signs of puberty yet. He has had a bit of a growth spurt but is still only about 5’ 3”. He has the odd spot but nothing much. His voice hasn’t broken and he hasn’t got any facial or underarm hair. The only thing I’ve noticed is a slight whiff of sweat if he doesn’t use deodorant so I have encouraged him to use it regularly. I don’t know what’s happening with regard to any changes to genitals etc as he’s very private but he keeps asking me if I think he has delayed puberty (he is such a worrier about everything). I keep reassuring him that he’s still young and there’s nothing to worry about but I am starting to wonder. All his friends are much taller than him and have deeper voices. One of his friends almost has a tache!

Can anyone reassure me or should I be thinking about consulting our GP?

Thanks.

Hi, I am no expert but I too have a DS who turned 14 in November. He is probably a similar height to your boy and is small compared to so many of his friends. DS has really only shown signs of puberty in the past few weeks - his voice has changed and he seems to be growing quite a bit. I must admit it hadn’t really crossed my mind that he was behind in terms of puberty, particularly as he is small and so it seemed fitting that he was going to hit puberty later. So while my DS going through puberty now, i wouldn’t say it was so unusual for your DS to not be quite there yet. I’d give it a while longer before being overly concerned.

Thank you @GoldenMalicious - that’s reassuring to hear. It didn’t really occur to me that DS could be behind either until he started asking me if I thought he was. I dismissed it at first and then started to google and worry!

I wouldn't worry, my son was exactly the same at that age. He wasn't showing many signs of puberty and was about 5' 3". He did worry but I assured him that not everyone goes through puberty at the same age. When he reached 15 he didn't stop growing, he towers over me now!

When DD left school at 16, loads of her male friends were still pretty short and had no facial hair etc. Now if I see one of them in Asda (they’re all 22 now) I’m shocked that they’re all about 6ft3! Things just happen later for some I think, I’m sure things will get moving and this time next year he’ll have shot up in the blink of an eye!

I think you'll find that it is now as they have been the whole childhood, that they all grow/change at different rates. And I have found some are consistent and slow and others just do huge phases. I would suggest if you/he want some reassurance call the doctors/nurse maybe just to ask a few questions, not necessarily to go in. Asking in a when should we be concerned kind of way. And hopefully he will be within their range and know not to worry as yet.

My son is exactly the same turned 14 in October and is very small for his age and showing no signs of puberty but I am not worried cause it will come soon enough and I will wonder where my wee lad has gone

I believe the first signs of puberty in boys is usually genital change so that is only something he would know and whether he would share that information with you is obviously up to him.

This is on the NHS website www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/stages-of-puberty-what-happens-to-boys-and-girls/

Everyone develops at different rates, I have two teenage sons. Ds1 when he was in year 7 brought his year 7 mate home for dinner, he was a whole head taller than Ds, had a full beard and his voice was deep and booming. Ds overshot him in height by year 10.

Ds2 is 14 (almost 15), his development was fast compared to Ds1. He seemed to do it gradually, Ds2 did spurts of growth, spurts of body hair

I wouldn't be worrying just yet, but you may need to tell him what to look out for.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your replies. I just got worried when I started googling and it looked like 14 was really the upper age limit to start showing signs of puberty.

@PurpleMustang - good suggestion about contacting GP for reassurance if DS mentions it again.

@LonelyBlueBauble - thanks. Yes, I will have a chat with him about what signs to look out for.

I was a secondary teacher and 14yo boys are a very mixed bunch. Some are 6ft+ with full beards and look like adults and others look like 10yos still. Most are somewhere in between. It will all even out by the time they are in their mid to late teens.

I have known loads of boys who started puberty late and a few men who have said they were late developers. In a year or so he will be 'into' it so don't worry at the moment.

Do make sure he is scrupulous with personal hygiene and uses a deodorant (you already suggested that).. You're fortunate he hasn't started being a bit whiffy long before now!

Thank you Stars and Liz.

Glad someone has posted this, I have a similar issue with my DS who is nearly 14. In the last year he has beefed up a little bit and his voice is getting a bit deeper. He recently said he has a few underarm hairs and pubes I'm only short at 5ft and he is just a bit taller than me. A lot of his friends gave shot up and look quite a bit older.
However, his penis hasn't really grown much since he was young - I haven't obviously seen it recently but I know last time he was still OK with me seeing him in the shower, I could tell then. This time last year I took him to see the doctor about the fact he couldn't move his foreskin. Not sure how the topic came up (probably asking him if he was making sure he was cleaning everything properly when he washed). He said he's never really been able to do it. He isn't in pain or having difficulty urinating. Doctor said it was tight and said he needed to gently try pulling it back when showering. Ffw to now and he still can't do it. I can't guarantee he is trying every shower to do it but I'm not sure whether to take him back to the doctors. I don't think they'll do anything unless he's sore, red, inflamed etc. Anyone any experience of this? A tight prepuce, i think he said. I'm just worried in case it causes problems in future or whether it'll sort itself out if his penis starts to grow a bit, when he's fully in puberty hopefully.
Obviously can wait to see someone as I don't think its a huge emergency.

@lotusbell

I believe that it's important for your son to try to retract the foreskin as when he is well into puberty the dead skin cells and smegma will collect under the corona/head of the penis and can cause issues. It's only by fully retracting and cleaning with
Soap and water that this is avoided. If he has a very tight foreskin then the dr can refer him for a circumcision .

My two boys are just passed all this at 22 and 17 but bloodyhell the smell of sweat from the dirty laundry bags is terrible no matter how much deodorant I throw at them.

@FraggleShingleBellRock, yes, thats what concerns me. When he had it checked last Jan, I don't think there was any build up or smell and no redness etc but yes, once puberty starts kicking in properly and he starts sweating more and becoming more sexually aware, he'll need to be more thorough with his hygiene. I just don't know if doctors will do much unless it becomes an issue. I will have another chat to him about how often he's doing it and if there's any redness or build up. He's reluctant to discuss it as any boy his age is but I need to know if he's let it slip or if he is doing it regularly.

My son turned 14 in August, Op and he's about 5ft- so he's way smaller than his peers in year 10. Like you i've very recently noticed that he needs deodorant and i take that as a good sign that things are happening! i don't think our boys are especially delayed- i read that most boys experience their largest growth spurt between 14 and 15, for example. it's just when they have huge mates!

I posted on another similar thread recently but DS1 was nearly 16 before anything happened for him. Hard for him at the time and worrying for us, but he was a late bloomer like his Dad. About 5’ 6 but very light and boyish and looked about 13. Less than a year later, he has put on 2 stone in weight, is nearly 6 foot, deep voice and size 12 feet. Interesting a couple of his friends were also small for their age too not developing until they were around 16. It’s more common than you think, just really hard for them if they have friends fully grown with beards or they are into team sports.

Why not get a dr’s appointment? It can’t do any harm

Any update on when your sons had their growth spurts or if they needed to see the Dr. My son is 14 and no signs whatsoever whereas his 11 and 9 yo sisters have both started puberty. One extreme to the other.
It seems to be affecting my sons self esteem as all his friends are massive and really hairy, but he is also being overlooked in sports teams now, to the point of being dropped from his football team as he “can’t compete” with the big lads on other teams. His ‘coaches’ words, not his.

My husband struggled to retract his foreskin for years and even after years of trying to do it with no luck the Drs still wouldn’t do anything. It wasn’t until he said it was affecting his sex life that they agreed to circumcise him. Obviously you don’t want to think about this for your son but it really can be an issue.

How tall is you DS @Btljalrrl08 ? Are you and his dad tall?

My DS in a similar position although slightly younger but having the same experiences in his sports team. Just hoping he starts his growth spurt soon before it puts him off a sport he loves.

I am average but his dad is 6’3” and my son was long at birth so they said he was going to be tall. My son has already decided not to play football this season and is focusing on his other sports, which is a real shame. It’s so hard isn’t it.

Ah that’s a shame that he’s stopped. Have you taken him to the GP to discuss his height if he’s bothered by it @Btljalrrl08