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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Does anyone else's teen keep asking to meet friends?

25 replies

Theromanempire · 23/01/2021 15:46

DS (14) intermittently asks to meet his friends - I hate having to say no to him 😔 Not sure why he keeps asking as he knows we will say no - latest is his friends have both had negative tests today so are ok for him to meet and he can't grasp it is against the law.

I know it is so hard and I would hate to be a teenager in this.

How is everyone else managing with this?

OP posts:

peak2021 · 23/01/2021 16:16

Don't hate having to be a loving person who does not want anyone to catch the virus.

Original poster

Theromanempire · 23/01/2021 17:14

Not sure that is how it seems to him - we are the worst parents in the world I just wish other parents had the same principles as us and not let their children out as it would stop DS asking.

OP posts:

Blackdog19 · 23/01/2021 17:15

Could he not go for a walk or bike ride with one friend?

dingit · 23/01/2021 17:16

He can go for a walk with them. My ds does.
They walk to Tesco and buy sweets, he's 19

Cattitudes · 23/01/2021 17:17

In England he can meet them one at a time for exercise just as adults can, that is what mine do. Depends where you live.

Hotcuppatea · 23/01/2021 17:20

My daughter and her friend walk the dogs after school every day. Its the only thing keeping her sane.

Randomrebel · 23/01/2021 17:26

Mine haven’t asked but DD 15 is struggling and I am CEV. I would let her go out for a walk with her best friend and I have offered this, especially as she caught covid from a teacher in March!!!

If your DS could be trusted to go for a walk or cycle for an hour or so that would be fine and would probably do him good but I wouldn’t be on with them just hanging around for hours for the sake of it, getting too close and not walking or cycling and maybe sneaking into someones house or anything like that.

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/01/2021 17:39

DS1(14) meets a friend once or twice a week for a bike ride. I dont think that's against the rules.

Original poster

Theromanempire · 23/01/2021 17:40

I have explained that he can meet and go for a walk with one of them at a time whenever he wants but that's boring apparently! He wants to hang around in a group

I have a sneaking suspicion that he will start arranging to 'meet one of them' but actually be meeting them all.

OP posts:

Original poster

Theromanempire · 23/01/2021 17:42

I know meeting a friend isn't against the rules - meeting 2 or more is! But his friends parents are all obviously not bothered about the rules

OP posts:

inquietant · 23/01/2021 17:43

Mine haven't asked, but one their friends did ask and I was quite surprised they did tbh.

arethereanyleftatall · 23/01/2021 17:44

Mine are managing it by meeting one friend at a time outside for bike rides, walks, runs, to make tik toks in the park. It's their lifeline. And actually, quite nice, a bit like the olden days playing!

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/01/2021 17:48

But his friends parents are all obviously not bothered about the rules
Or perhaps they trust their child when he says he's meeting one friend.

catonmylapcantmove · 23/01/2021 17:50

In Wales we aren’t allowed to meet anyone including outside for exercise. It’s a horrific situation for our teens locked away from their peers. It would be amazing if we could just say yes to a walk.

Groups of teens are breaking it here. I see big groups when out walking all the time. It’s so hard to tel mine no when they look out the window and see friends walking past.

dingit · 23/01/2021 17:54

@Theromanempire

I have explained that he can meet and go for a walk with one of them at a time whenever he wants but that's boring apparently! He wants to hang around in a group

I have a sneaking suspicion that he will start arranging to 'meet one of them' but actually be meeting them all.

I know my ds 'accidentally' sometimes bumps into a third person. Meh, they are all sitting at home all week, they aren't holding hands walking along the road.

lyingwanker · 23/01/2021 18:01

Both my teens have been climbing the walls. I do let them go out either on their own, together or with 1 other friend each. They usually go for a long walk or a bike ride. Surprisingly, all of the teens on our estate seem to be sticking to the rules unlike previously! I think everyone has had enough now and just wants it back to more of a normality as quickly as possible.

Original poster

Theromanempire · 23/01/2021 18:43

@DioneTheDiabolist

But his friends parents are all obviously not bothered about the rules Or perhaps they trust their child when he says he's meeting one friend.

Point taken. However, the 2 friends that DS wanted to meet today turned into 5! The 2 were hovering outside our house and then when DS told them he couldn't come out, 3 others appeared from around the corner and they all walked off - DS swears he only thought there were 2. So please excuse my suspicions about his friends

Honestly, I would be more than happy for him to go out every day with one of his friends but he never asks for that!

OP posts:

Original poster

Theromanempire · 23/01/2021 18:45

And then it turns out that one of his friends family members actually has covid but his parents are ok to be out because he had a test yesterday so I think my concerns are justified in this case but DS clearly doesn't see it like that!

OP posts:

Cattitudes · 23/01/2021 19:32

Yes in that case then your concerns are justified. It is a shame but it doesn't sound as if they would respect the law. Fortunately partly due to geography (spread out) and partly due to their nature we don't have those concerns.

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/01/2021 22:30

I get where you're coming from OP.

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/01/2021 22:32

Can you get your DS to arrange a meet up with one friend and them both to stick to it?

Writerandreader · 23/01/2021 23:19

God I feel so sorry for teens. I would let him to be honest it's very very low risk outdoors. This could go on for months he needs to see a friend or two? Could you try and get him to meet one or at the most 2 at a time and ensure they are outside

AlexaShutUp · 23/01/2021 23:24

I feel for you, OP. I would hate having to say no.

Thankfully, my 15yo isn't asking. She's very sensible and she gets why it isn't a good idea at the moment. It helps that her friends aren't meeting up with each other either. Apparently, they're all worried about passing it on to their families. They are keeping in touch via video calls etc, which isn't the same but it's better than nothing.

striation980 · 25/01/2021 11:31

No. I wish mine was. He has no social contact at all and it's so worrying.

JustDanceAddict · 25/01/2021 14:16

Mine met a friend yesterday for a walk, they they seemed to meet another one (think the first one may not have hung around for that long after). Tbh his MH has been terrible recently and they’re all bored as hell so I didn't say anything. He didn’t see anyone for 2 weeks and nor had one of the friends (and nor have I).

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