So I'm 20 years old and have had unresolved issues with my mother since the age of 12 (thats 8 years of resentment) and want advice from other mums regarding how to approach the subject and hopefully resolve this issue.
Basically, when I was 12 years old, my mum not only allowed but actively encouraged me to go on a date with a 17 year old boy. The location? A local forest. They drove me there and waited until it was done. At the time, I was in a poor mental state and I assume she wanted me to gain confidence from the experience of having an older boy interested in me. What actually happened was that I was sexually assaulted by this boy. I never told my mum. This experience affects me mentally to this day and I do blame my mum to an extent, looking back at her decision to let me go on this date with this much older boy in such a strange location. After this event, she also encouraged me to enter into a relationship with another much older boy (13y/o and 18y/o) where in the beginning I really did not fare well and was sexually coerced and emotionally abused multiple times.
How do I raise this sitiation with my mother without damaging an already volatile reationship? I feel like this is the only way I can let go of almost a decade of resentment but I don't want to sound accusatory or negatively affect our already fragile relationship. How should I address this? I just want advice from mums who could give me ideas on how they would like their own daughters to raise such a sensitive, horrible topic without it sounding accustory or inflammatory. Thanks in advance.