dd read Killing Stalking (manga)

[fruittwist1231]

hi everyone.

i found out yesterday that dd age 15 read a manga called killing stalking. she had asked a few weeks before to read it and after researching what it was about and what it entails i said definitely not.
i won't go into details but it is absolutely sick, i watched youtube videos talking about it and some of the scenes are in my opinion, too inappropriate for anyone to read, let alone a 15 year old.

i took away her phone and turned off wifi so she can't watch it on her pc, i am so upset that she was read the material in there.

i just want to know what i should do? she has never done anything like this where i haven't known what to do but i'm more worried about her than wanting to punish her.

Do you know exactly what she saw? Instead of just punishing her I think you need to talk through what she viewed and the reasons why it's not good for anyone's mind to be exposed to some things.

hi thanks for replying so quick.

she had read every chapter and although i don't know what happens in each one, i know the general gist of what happens and from the videos i saw on youtube, some scenes are absolutely horrible.
thank you i will definitely talk to her and i'll try to stay calm so that she can talk.
she doesn't seem distressed but she is very good at hiding her emotions never cries in front of us.

sorry in my first post i meant read it not watch it.

At the end of the day its a book/comic. She's 15 and frankly will read what she wants and not tell/ask you about it in future. I think you need to approach this in a way that she can talk to you about issues she reads about (or watches in movies etc) if she wants to but thats all you can do. At 15 she will find a way to read or watch what she wants to elsewhere if you don't approve.

hi thank you for replying.
i know i can't control her but if you look into what it is about, you will understand why i'm so upset.

i will try to make sure she knows she can talk to me about these things.

I appreciate you're upset, I understand. I just think in typical teenage fashion if you tell them not to do something most of the time that's all they then want to do.

You can't take away the fact she read it, or the fact she will read or see worse things in TV, books, films, even the news going forward. Evem as an adult who loves horror movies there's a couple of films that have scenes I can't stomach and I dont know why they feel different to other horror movies for me. Sometimes we are good at compartmentalising things and she probably feels like its just a book and she has nothing to worry about. Just make sure she knows if there are any themes she wants to talk about or questions she has that she can come to you.

Disturbing but...

You could look at this as an opportunity to have some pretty mature conversations with her.

Shes 15. She will find a way whether you want her to or not. So why not openly discuss it with her.

Why not discuss with her the issues with abuse, domestic abuse, manipulation, how to identify, consent, psychology etc. It could open doors to discussions about criminal psychology. It could lead to discussions about trust... it goes on

You could really turn this into something positive...

Just googled it and it's an award winning comic. OK, violent according to the Wikipedia synopsis but no worse than Silence of the Lambs on film. If you read a synopsis of what happens in those films it would look as bad. Eating somebody's liver, cutting somebody's face off. OK, the films are 18, but a lot of people would let, say, a 16 year old watch what is a popular horror film with a respected actor in the title role.

You might want to punish the disobedience and betrayal of trust, but I'm surprised that a 15 year old even bothered to ask whether they could watch an edgy cartoon.

I’m very much into manga, anime etc. I would say with Killing Stalking it would very much depend on the “type” of 15 yo she is. There are a lot of adult themes (self harm, suicide, mutilation, mental illness, abuse, manipulation, sexual assault, murder) but the author does include trigger warnings so it’s not like she will be going into each one unprepared for the content. Does she watch movies rated 18 or with any adult themes? And if so how does she cope with them? I will say with the younger fans of certain mangas / anime will romanticise very troubled relationships within them (the serial killer and main character even though the relationship is obviously abusive and the author warns the community of how damaging this is too) so while I wouldn’t personally ban a 15 year old from reading it, I would use the opportunity to discuss these themes and pass on important points like boundaries when it comes to the abusive relationship for example, or discuss self harm and about mental health, reaching out and getting help if she ever feels like this etc.

I honestly don't think it's the end of the world. 15 is toward the grown up end of childhood. It's violent, yes - but what are you most concerned about happening? I was a grown up 15, I was and am very much into horror. What I read and watched was a genre I enjoy. It's not caused me to have any unhealthy relationships or problems as I matured. I would very much put this down to a stark realism that she's not a little girl anymore. If she was watching a snuff film online I would be in your corner. On this one I'd ask her if she has any questions, understands that it's particularly violent and if she is upset or confused by anything. If she thinks she can come to you to discuss these things, she's less likely to hide it from you.

What is it with people on mumsnet trying to censor books? Shes 15 let her read whatever she wants. You should foster a love of reading onto her not punish her because her reading choices arent to your taste.

hi thank you to everyone who has replied.

first of all, shaniac im not censoring her and it isn't a normal book, it's made up of pictures and some speech and it's not because it's not to my case it's because it is very graphic sexual and violent.

i'm not sure what i'm most worried about happening it just doesn't feel right for a young girl to be reading things like this. i guess i am worried it will have disturbed her, i was unsettled after just reading what it was about even before seeing the pictures.

there is a part where one of the men carries the other one and pushes him into a man he had kidnapped to stab him while he's blindfolded.
it is disgusting and inappropriate. he had to carry him because when he first kidnapped him he beat his legs so he can't walk anymore. so another example of the horrific things in there.

i like the idea of making it into a positive thing with a conversation about the subjects in there. i will talk to her tonight thank you.
to be honest i am not sure how to punish her regarding the going behind my back as i can't exactly ground her haha

Most manga books have age ratings on them. Usually 'all ages', '7+' 'teen' 'mature teen' and 'adult'. You need to have a (calm) chat about what you think is appropriate and why. I don't know this particular book but there are several graphic novels (not necessarily manga ones) that are very violent yet are on school recommended reading lists (V for Vendetta for example).

Just read the review with a twisted stomach
"Before reading the story (if you haven't yet) you should be aware of the content. The manhwa deals with heavy themes like rape, abuse, violence, gore, torture, death, sexual assault, and so much more. This is a manhwa for 18+ readers. We also want to emphasize that Killing Stalking is not a romance."
I would hate my similarly aged dd to read that - but she loves horror, particularly manga. I posted a year or so ago worrying she had bought IT. All I try to do is trust her to know her own limits, and if she is uncomfortable to stop reading. I instilled a strong sense (I hope) of appropriate relationships / behaviour when she started reading the Twilight series a few years ago.

In my experience everything works better with teenagers if you stay calm and open to talk. Make it a point of discussion.

Also be aware as a pp said that the themes are probably very similar to some treated in "proper" literature, e.g. some of Shakespeare, so you also need to be prepared for that discussion- why is this wrong and Titus Andronicus or Lord of the Flies right?

For the record, I wouldn't have liked my dd to read what you describe either but I think you need a more robust and thought-through response- and, given her age, one that focuses on her self-regulating rather than your protecting her.

When I was 15 I read paradoxia by Lydia lunch. It was disgusting and I remember being mortified but I just couldn’t put it down. It didn’t influence me in any way and nowadays I have no interest in reading that kind of thing. I would never have wanted to discuss it with my parents either.
I think it’s hard accepting that our children get to an age where we can’t control what they want to see and read. We can ban it, refuse to buy it and punish them if they do it anyway but at the end of the day we can’t make them not be curious. We just have to trust that we have brought them up well enough to know what’s right from wrong and to make good judgements for themselves. So much easier said than done!

so real. who cares what she reads? its just a manga its fake.