How much time does your teenagers spend in their bedrooms.

[Rubyshoes10]

Literally just that. Unless I make them they usually only come down for food/drinks but unless I make them come for a walk or pasta game they will be in tier rooms DS is 14 and DD is 16. Neither seem depressed they are on FaceTiming with friends playing Xbox watching films listening to music or reading. During the week they are downstairs for school work. Just wondered if this is normal.

DS16 is rarely in room because 1. he's not allowed electronics in there and 2. it's such a pit that he can barely walk accross the floor. He is usually in the room we are not in, though, either allegedly revising, or if not on the dreaded tiktok or playstation. Very rarely with us, but I get it. How many of us wanted to hang with our parents and siblings as teens?

Dd is 15

I have teenage sons aged 16 and 14. The younger one only really goes into his room to sleep, the older one goes in a couple of hours before bedtime to watch stuff on his iPad.

Our games console is in a playroom so my younger one spends an hour (or two at the weekend) in there. Other than that, we try to be in the same rooms, watching tv or playing games, or the kids go on their phones while I'm cooking.

They say I'm quite stingy in limiting their tech usage compared to their friends, and reading this thread, I think they may have a point! I don't time how long they're on phones for (particularly for the older one) but I do drag them off for some exercise or to do something else if they've been on them for a while. On the downside, it did mean me sitting through some interminably long and dull film called Dodgeball last night as an effort at family time.

Thanks for this thread it is reassuring. I was getting concerned about the amount of time DD 14 spends in her room. She just comes down for meals and goes out for a walk with her friend once a day to walk her friends dog. She will hang out in other rooms when we're not in though! Plus she often comes down late at night to talk to DH but not me as I've gone to bed by then.

@LudoTrouble

I don't worry about porn anymore, I used to, when they first got their tech, but I know that DS1 is either scrolling endlessly through Twitter on his phone or playing games on his PC and DS2 is either on his PS4 or watching YouTube.

How do I know? Well I guess this is where having a not-too-big house with a strange layout comes in handy as I can hear them when they're gaming with friends and the layout is such that I'm never very far away from them and I regularly stick my head in and say hello. They quite often leave their doors open and the house is very open plan as it is, so their rooms become part of the open plan.

To be fair, they do come out for exercise and we all eat together in the evenings and they do their chores, so I'm happy.

My teenaged boy is a cave troll, in the dark pretty much all day, emerging only for large bowls of self-cooked pasta and/or cheese toasties and the (very) occasional hug.

I luffs him

My DS’ are 19 & nearly 18, they are in their rooms except for using bathroom, eating their meals etc. But they are both chatty when we are together in the same room, just doesn’t happen that often. But totally normal teen behaviour, as long as they are happy, we are too.

@plg21 are sons are the same age

I have trained myself to think of it as time spent socialising rather than tech time. I may be kidding myself but it helps me! Seriously though, I really enjoy the sound of DS2 giggling away about something or other on Minecraft with his friends, and it gives us something to talk about too!

*our not are

I have trained myself to think of it as time spent socialising rather than tech time. I may be kidding myself but it helps me! Seriously though, I really enjoy the sound of DS2 giggling away about something or other on Minecraft with his friends, and it gives us something to talk about too!

I do agree with this. Given they haven't been into school since 11 December, I think time spent socialising online is very important for their wellbeing and not feeling isolated from their friends.

I also know I'm a bit mean making them spend some time together as a family, although we don't do that much on school days as they have limited free time so should spend it as they choose. I inflicted a Bridget Jones film on them over Christmas and my 16 year old enjoyed it sufficiently to make us watch all three.

I'm sure their generation will parent differently as they've grown up with technology whereas we still remember our childhoods where it was a real treat to get an hour playing Daley Thompson's decathlon on my friend's ZX Spectrum...

I think it took a good 20 minutes of that hour to load it, and quite frequently failed in minute 18 so you had to remove the cassette and start it over again.... happy days!

Ha ha! I'll see your cassette and raise you having to type in the game programme ourselves in our house... we had a BBC Basic computer! The day we got the cassette player for it was so exciting! Do you remember the noise it made loading?!

I don't think you're mean making them have family time. I do make DS2 come out and watch a film (sorry, movie ) with us occasionally and last week I told him to choose a series that he wants to watch and we'll all watch it together. That's worked well.

I feel so much better after reading this. My DD 13 and DS 16 also have to be forced out of their rooms for exercise and meals but I can hear them laughing a lot with friends whilst gaming so at least they're happy. I consider them getting up, doing school work, some exercise and some family time (meals together) as a good day at the moment. It's so sad.

@muminthesummer I’m with you in that. When they are about they are chatting and can hear laughing from their rooms I’m so glad I asked the question. It’s seems like many other teens are doing the same.

Meh...its normal..dd 12 lives in her room..its her sanctuary.