School night curfew for Y12?

[Daffodilsix]

My DS (almost 17) is coming home later and later on school nights, probably because I haven't set a time he absolutely has to be home. He sometimes has dinner at his girlfriend's house (pre-lockdown) and then was usually home at 10, but occasionally he goes off to the skatepark. One school night he wasn't home til 12. He has a group of friends whose parents are very lenient and don't seem to have a curfew. I am thinking 8pm on a school night is about right (in the winter). What is the general view?

Is he up to date with his school work and does he need to be in school at 9am the next day?

8pm for a sixth former would be pretty extreme.

He keeps up with his homework (he does it when he comes home, before going out again). He has to be up at 6.45am for school.

8pm for an almost 17 year old?! I’d have laughed in my parents face. His homework is done? He gets up for school? Let him self regulate.

10pm sounds ok as long as he is keeping on top of schoolwork.

There isn't a great deal for them to do at the moment anyway, and hanging round in a dark cold park seems to be losing its attraction ...

I think 8pm or a curfew at all is OTT for a 17 year old (assuming he is generally a good, sensible lad). At 17 he can drive, sign up for the army and it won't be long before he can vote, own his own home and work full time.

Instead of setting a curfew, I'd be having an open conversation about respecting the rest of the household and coming home at a reasonable hour to not disturb others. He needs to learn to self regulate - he could be living away at uni soon without you.

Quite honestly if my parents set me a curfew, especially if it was 8pm I would have a) laughed b) assumed it was a joke and c) purposefully broken such a ridiculous rule lol. And I got on great with my parents. I was going to nightclubs too at 17 - my parents knew but they picked me up at 1am until I was 18.

If heading out for the evening on a school night, a conversation in our house at 17 would have been "ok be safe, don't be too late, don't you have English at 9am tomorrow" and I wouldn't be out late (past 11 probably) because I did indeed have English at 9am.

That is all really helpful. Thanks

I think a strict curfew is really important if he is simply hanging around on street corners - other activities - sports / clubs / girlfriend/ dinner out - completely different 🙏