Helping my sons girlfriend with birth control?

[snappyoldfart]

Wonder if anyone can help me navigate this, my son and his girlfriend are having sex they are both 16, I'm aware of this as my DS is open with me, and talked about being careful etc.

But her mum isn't aware and she has told my DS she like like to go on the pill, they are just using condoms at the moment.

But she won't ask her mum, or talk to her mum at all, she can't get to the GP herself as she can't drive and they're are no busses.

I'm in the other side as my mum was very supporting and helped me when I was young to get to the GP and be safe, is there anywhere online she could use? Or any advice.

I don't really want to get involved as she's not my daughter but if I can help without causing an issue then they are safer.

@CorianderQueen exactly my thoughts! When he said they were only using condoms my heart did a small flip of panic.

I’ve been in this position. I think the best thing is to signpost her to family planning services and encourage her to speak to her mum.
I think most mothers would appreciate their daughter making a mature and sensible decision .

Lots of younger women prefer the implant because once it’s in it lasts a few years and they don’t have to remember it.

I don't know what you have local but where I am there is "The Zone" which is contraception etc advice for under 25s, they also give out a "c" card which the holder can get free condoms from participating stores (boots and Superdrug included here). I helped my DS gf and wouldn't hesitate to again

I would help her OP. I can see why you are a little cautious though.

I would be shocked if any GP gave the pill to her over the phone if she has never had it before. They usually want to do Height and weight checks and a BP check too.

Tell her to make a gp appointment and lend her the money for a taxi/book her an uber. Then I don’t think her mum can be annoyed with you if she finds out.

I don't know where you are in the country OP but I was able to get the pill online delivered to my home via the NHS / an address I nominated; not sure if that's something they do in your area?

I meant to write give her the taxi money (would seem a bit mean to ask for it back)

So much great advice, I'm going to pass this all to them both, they won't be seeing each other for a while but at least she can look up all the suggested places and maybe armed with this she could talk to her mum.

I get that feeling from her as her parents are much older that they simply don't understand her needs as a young teen.

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes 😂😂 thats the thing we are rural, Uber's don't exist here yet, not even just eat or pizza delivery - busses rarely pass her village she's totally stuck until she passes her test and all the lessons have been cancelled as she 17 very soon.

As the mother of a DD I would be gutted if her boyfriends mum took her to the GP. I assume she cannot talk to her mum? As the mother of a son it is easier to be subjective. The pill can have alot of devastating side effects. My dd has migraines which combined with the pill can cause a stroke. It can cause hormonal/blood pressure issues which I do not believe a 16 year old would understand. Please ask them to o talk to her parents.

@Squeejit implant being the little stick in the arm under the skin, I've not used birth control for over 20 years so I will do some reading up.

I lived in the arse end of nowhere as a teenager and you could still hook a taxi (v expensive so only discuss occasions )

Special occasions!

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes is such a pain isn't it for teens. We don't think this through, I wish we were more city based tbh.

Are you sure your son just doesn’t want to use condoms sorry I’m an old cynic

@Rupertpenrysmistress I'm 100% with everyone here, I took the pill as a teen and it took 2/3 brands before I settled. But I had my mums full support so it was easy to discuss.

I'm going to strongly encourage her to talk to her mum, but I can't make her so my next option so to support them both.

@Regularsizedrudy for now I'm going to hope that this isn't the case, as his approach to me was asking me for help as she would like to go on the pill and can't talk to her mum.

I doubt he'd say mum I don't like using condoms. 😬 I'm all for open conversation but that maybe pushing it.

Sh24.org.uk might operate in your area. It's a free NHS service that delivers the pill direct to your door free of charge after answering online questions, but it doesn't offer a full range of services in all areas.

If she can’t get to a clinic any other way then I think the only responsible thing is to take her. They are being responsible, already having sex, and both over age of consent. I guess her mum might be hurt and/or recognise that sometimes kids just don’t want to talk to parents c this stuff - but either way it’s a billion times better than her getting pregnant.

You could suggest she brings it up with her mum as a treatment for cramps, if that would be easier than talking about contraception.

Ultimately, better to risk overstepping by helping her get the pill than by helping her get an abortion.

Yes, that’s it.
DS’s girlfriend had older parents too but her mum was really glad she spoke to her.

I would try to find her a sexual health clinic near college. Perhaps your son could go with her.

I think you should point her in the right direction and even offer a lift if needed but please encourage her to talk to her mum
DD had a very bad reaction to the pill and I really did need to know that she was taking it

I agree with the others.

I work with teens and sexual health clinics are running. She can attend on her own or with your son and get prescribed the pill from there.

@RiaOverTheRainbow

You could suggest she brings it up with her mum as a treatment for cramps, if that would be easier than talking about contraception.

Ultimately, better to risk overstepping by helping her get the pill than by helping her get an abortion.

I was about to say the same thing - given that she needs a lift etc, I would encourage her to say to her mum that she wants to speak to the doctor about her period pains and symptoms (important to do anyway - could be endometriosis and various other things and it takes a long time to get help with this so good idea to speak to a GP now). Then when she goes the GP is likely to offer it as an option, or she could ask for it - it’s pretty much first line treatment for period pains, aside from transexamic acid and mefanamic acid. She could tell her mum she wants to go in alone, or she could ask the GP whether the pill would help if her mum is with her - I’m sure the GP would understand what’s happening!

It probably is best that her mum knows just in case she does react badly although as long as she knows what to look out for she can stop if there are any problems