Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Am I the only mother?

26 replies

pourmethevino · 21/12/2020 17:26

That won't allow their teenage daughter (nearly 15) to go and meet other friends in houses whilst this pandemic is on?

I'm sick to death of arguments on why this can't happen and that she could pick up this virus and bring it back into our house and also become really poorly herself.

It seems like her friends parents and most of them couldn't care less and just so ignorant towards it.

I've told her it's against the law, it could possibly make us all ill but she doesn't seem to believe me or just thinks I'm being over the top.

Am I being over the top? I'm beginning to question my own parenting. I know she wants to meet friends and I do feel sorry for her because it seems like we are the only ones keeping to the advise.

I'm absolutely sick of all this. What is everyone else doing? 😞

OP posts:
BeBraveAndBeKind · 21/12/2020 17:41

Nope, we're doing the same here. We're in Tier 2 and DS (17) asked to go to a friend's house a couple of weeks ago and was told no because it's against the guidelines. If she doesn't believe you, show her the tier rules on Gov.uk.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 21/12/2020 17:46

No, you're doing the right thing. It can't be easy for her but you're protecting her and the family as well as teaching her something about civic responsibility.

AlexaShutUp · 21/12/2020 17:52

No, dd (also 15) hasn't been into a friend's house since the whole thing started, though she did go and sit in her friend's garden over the summer. I know that loads of her peers are mixing normally, though thankfully most of her friends are on the sensible side. I feel very fortunate that dd doesn't push for more freedom at all, because she understands the importance of being careful, but I do sometimes wonder if I'm being unreasonable when I'm out of kilter with so many other parents. I do know it's shit for young people, but dd sees her friends in school and can meet them outside for walks etc. DD understands that we're in Tier 3 and she isn't allowed in anyone's house at the moment.

iwishiwasonhol · 21/12/2020 18:09

no doing the same here ,yes she can meet them outside ,but not in their house ,and yes all i hear from her is but everyone else is

Original poster
pourmethevino · 21/12/2020 18:16

Thank god I'm not on my own, walking the streets isn't an option either as the area is quite rough where she wants to go and its dark and the fact she is 15.

I've shown her the gov website but because other friends parents aren't going by the rules it makes no difference to her. I'm just being the controlling parent and I know it's shit for her but I can't make it any better.

Hate all of this, causing so many arguments. I'll be glad when Christmas is over and they are back to school if they ever go back 😢🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
RandomMess · 21/12/2020 18:44

My adult Teen is as she is a support bubble for a friend and sometimes there are other people there but they meet up outside for walks mostly. I'm not happy about it though.

The others not, they meet outside. Sometimes in gardens with a fire pit.

XelaM · 21/12/2020 19:03

Well, I'm sorry, but this pandemic and restrictions appear to be never-ending, so for the sake of my daughter not spending her days glued to her phone - I've been willing on occasion for her to invite one or two classmates to our house. I don't see what difference it makes when they sit next to each other in the same class every school day, so why can't the same girls sit in our house? It's not a regular thing though and as we're now in Tier 4, the only place she gets to see any friends is at her horse riding stable (horse riding is an exempt activity). But I think it's important for kids' general well-being to have some personal contact with their friends. That's just my personal take on the situation.

DaisiesandButtercups · 22/12/2020 18:26

We aren't doing inside but mine are meeting friends to walk outside in daylight. I am glad of them getting the fresh air and exercise as well as some social contact. They are beginning to learn how to dress for spending a long time out in drizzle and which shoes are not good for puddles and mud if you are walking for a couple of hours. All quite old school character building.

We have a few mild disagreements about it but they seem to get it. I think that most of their friends are sticking to the rules too so that does help.

We are in tier 2.

Ifeelmuchlessfat · 22/12/2020 18:41

Another Tier 2 and another who is allowing her nearly 15yo to meet a couple of friends. They mainly go for walks.
Im another who feels it’s illogical that they mix at school and yet are to go for weeks without seeing what is effectively their support bubble.

Wordsmith · 23/12/2020 20:44

You're not the only one. I'm constantly having this battle with my 16 YO son. Tonight it's a 'garden gathering' which is not on because we're tier 3, and of course it will end up in the house as it's pissing it down here...

We're going to my 88 year old mum's on Christmas day, we all had lateral flow tests on Monday to check we're clear, but he's finding it really hard to just wait until after Christmas to meet them so we can be sure we're safe.

Up until the weekend he was meeting them outdoors,bin the patlrk, doing God knows what until 11pm.

I'd much rather they were socialising where I know they're safe but there are no other
options for 16 yr olds in tier 3 or 4.

Wordsmith · 23/12/2020 20:46

in the park flippin' typos.

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 23/12/2020 20:47

Dds haven't been allowed out. Some of the 'top' girls have caught covid from continuing with their high profile social diaries according to SM. No way aren dd's getting mixed up with that!! Stats are stupid at their school. One dd has had 3 lots of 2 weeks isolation... Ds's primary school has been closed altogether..

CarrieAnnQ · 23/12/2020 20:48

No my son (15) has been on bike rides with friends but never in their houses.

Theromanempire · 23/12/2020 20:53

Exactly the same here...my 14 yo wanted to go to his friend's house at the weekend and got stroppy when I said no as it was against the law Hmm but I did wonder why his friend's parents would allow it but I guess they just don't care! I got the same argument about how they spend so much time at school so what difference would it make.

He eventually accepted my request to not see his friends this week so it was as safe as it could be for his grandma coming round on Friday but I just know the requests will start again from Sunday.

Although, if they don't go back to school, that does negate his argument somewhat Grin

I am really sympathetic towards him as I know it is shit for him but I can't agree to him effectively breaking the law Sad

CreepyCreepster · 23/12/2020 20:57

Meh. I've allowed my 17 yr old DD to visit/stay with her boyfriend at his home. The two of them are pretty much isolated apart from their contact with each other as he is home learning due to disability and she takes the whole thing very seriously and doesn't socialise with anyone except him.

Yes, it's a (small) risk. Yes, it's against the rules. But the risk to DD's mental health if she becomes any more isolated than she already is, is just not one I'm willing to force onto her!

Shieldingending · 24/12/2020 08:30

I don’t allow mine either, but judging by her social media I’m one of the few parents who is sticking to the rules . 7 of her friends had a sleepover the other night! And not all in the same classes at school, so they wouldn’t have been mixing had they not had a sleepover...

BumbleFlump · 24/12/2020 08:34

We’re tier 4, mine are allowed to meet with a single friend outside only. Many cases here. All of their friends are sticking to the rules.

WeAllHaveWings · 24/12/2020 08:47

Ds(16) hasn't been in any friends house since March. He sees friends outdoors, they'll brave the wet west coast of Scotland weather and meet up for a walk for a couple of hours once a week (a bracing 4 degrees yesterday!), the rest of the time they keep in touch electronically.

I don't see what difference it makes when.......

This one of is my most loathed excuses from this pandemic. Pleading ignorance. If you don't see the difference go and find out. Armed with the facts, if you are then still going to break the rules because you are special at least be honest about it.

Pamperedpet · 24/12/2020 08:53

I loathe the people not following these rules, especially at the moment when school holidays are a small window to reduce the spread. They make life so difficult for parents who would rather stick to the guidelines.

JustDanceAddict · 25/12/2020 11:05

We are in Tier 4 and they haven’t asked.
DS has met a friend outside, which is allowed. He did go to a garden in Tier 3 which I allowed (5 of them) and DD did go inside without my knowledge in Tier 2 - but she is technically an adult so she can only be advised. Now we’re in Tier 4 there’s def no inside gatherings.
When DD is at uni i know they’ve completely not stuck to the rules, but she did get Covid last term (as did most of her uni mates), not really anything I could do about that apart from tell her to be careful. She’s so bored here as obv everyone is living under their parents’ roofs and rules.

3littlewords · 26/12/2020 01:50

No my ds doesn't go in any friends houses but he sees his friends outside as much as he wants

Rollergirl11 · 26/12/2020 10:34

Sticking to the rules here too, we are in Tier 4. DD was sticking to the rule of 6 meeting outside when we were in Tier 2 and then just one friend outside since Tier 4. Hasn’t had any sleepovers with friends since the summer and the last time she was in someone’s house was October half term. She hasn’t asked as she understands. She has commented that she can see others from school still in and out of each other’s houses.

megletthesecond · 29/12/2020 23:41

No house visits here either.

DS has seen the odd class mate for a bike ride. DD never sees anyone. I did suggest a walk with her best friend, but why would you get fresh air when you can play roblox and WhatsApp in your pj's.

pinkhousesarebest · 29/12/2020 23:47

Not in the Uk, but Dd is going to someone’s House on NYE. She and all the girls invited ( five of them) have all had Covid, as have the girl’s parents. It’s the first time she has seen anyone outside school since September.

Chelsea567 · 29/12/2020 23:52

Sticking to the rules here with DD17, but this means she's walking the streets until the early hours with her best friend instead of being safely at home or staying over with friend. I'd rather risk them in a house tbh. At least then I could sleep Confused

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.