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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Is she depressed or just selfish?

5 replies

Misterectomy · 19/12/2020 08:21

My dd is 16. She is not spoiled, but has a privileged life. She is highly motivated and an academic high achiever. She comes across as mature, with a great sense of humour.

But she swings between normal and tearful indifference at home, with the latter being her default setting. She has said she feels miserable a lot of the time at home and at school and is seeing a counsellor once a week. She says it’s hard for her friends seeing her so miserable.

I don’t want to belittle or misunderstand her unhappiness but it often comes across as rudeness and ingratitude. For example, she has spent the odd day with me at work (fabulous experience in a field she wants to work in, my employers pay her and think she’s wonderful, there’s a well stocked kitchen etc etc). The last time she came she was not working quite as diligently as normal, and when we left I asked her what was wrong. She said “it was disgustingly boring”. Last night I collected her from her dad’s (after a very long working week for me) and every attempt at conversation was met with a shrug or a dunno, even the topic of what we should have for dinner. We eventually fell into silence, with her sniffing occasionally, with her head turned away from
me.

She has a good relationship with me and her dad. He and I have a good relationship despite being divorced. We try and talk but she isn’t very forthcoming. Does she need to see a doctor? Or will she just grow up?

OP posts:
JingleJohnsJulie · 19/12/2020 09:40

Just as a mum of teens, I'd say she sounds depressed.

Has she said why she was upset with you on the way home yesterday?

newnamenewposts · 19/12/2020 23:06

Watching with interest at the responses. This is my DS everyday. I swing between thinking he is depressed or it's teenage hormones. It's an unbearable atmosphere to live in.

Misterectomy · 20/12/2020 20:08

Thanks both for your messages. It’s so hard to know what to do. On the one hand, I don’t want to be unsupportive but on the other I hate living under the oppressive cloud of disdain and misery.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 20/12/2020 20:57

Depressed and/or anxious.

JingleJohnsJulie · 21/12/2020 20:29

Has she opened up to you at all OP?

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