how to help my dd with anorexia

[rainbow98]

so my dd has struggled with food for a while, she’s not coping at all
she’s just been discharged from camhs as they haven’t even seen her for months and weren’t very helpful when she did go
however now she is really bad, she’s very underweight and gets suicidal (been in hospital for an attempt at beginning the beginning of the year)
how do i get her to eat? i’m at work all day and she says she eats but i know it’s very little and low calorie, but if i try make her something she point blank refuses and i’m also worried this will make her suicidal thoughts worse
what can i do? is she still classed as a minor? can she be forced into treatment?

You don't say how old she is, or what the doctors have advised?

sorry, she’s 17 but 18 in a couple months
been to the gp before but other than referring her to camhs they didn’t do anything and camhs also haven’t done much but they’re so over whelmed in our area however i’m desperate at this point and can’t afford private with everything that’s happened this year

Can you talk to your gp? Persuade her to see the gp? My dds psychiatrist explained with eating disorders the more underweight you become the more the irrational part of your brain takes over. BEAT the eating disorders charity are very helpful I think they have a helpline. This time of year is particularly hard for people with eating disorders as there is so much talk about food, losing weight etc etc. Are you weighing her? Can you do it without her seeing the weight? & hide the scales so she can’t do it herself. If she won’t eat a big meal I would leave her favourite snacks (inc healthy but calorific ones). available so she might pick at those? 💐

i’m trying to get her to go to the gp hopefully i can over christmas when i’m off work
she doesn’t have access to a scales as far as i’m aware i’ve taken our bathroom scales but i couldn’t weigh her without her seeing it
what snacks do you suggest? she usually just snacks on fruit which is better than nothing but obviously it’s low cal

I hope you dont take this the wrong way but you seem extremley uninformed about eating disorders. They are never about food or eating but more about control. Successful outcomes are usually achived with in deoth family therapy to uncover the issues at the bottom of this behaviour. I suggest you educate yourself abput the disorder andypu will have a better outcome. Best of luck to you both, its very difficult.

no i get that, she doesn’t open up very often but she’s explained how she doesn’t necessarily want to be ‘thinner’ she just can’t eat which i know i’m never going to totally understand but i get its control and she needs some sort of help but with no money and camhs not helping i don’t know how
and obviously her gaining weight won’t cure it as it’s a mental illness however i am genuinely really worried how long she can keep going, she’s very thin (manages to hide it a lot with clothes from people tho) and can’t be eating more than 500 or so calories

@Jakey056 For lots of people, anorexia is about the food and eating. It's quite an outdated view to assume that people with anorexia have underlying problems with control. It is now known that a lot of the need to control and rigidity often resolves once weight has been restored for a good period of time.

Family therapy isn't the mainstay of treatment - weight restoration is.

@misselphaba
I disagree. The gold standard treatment for anorexia is Family based therapy followed by CBT
Its in the NICE guidelines
www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng69/chapter/Recommendations#treating-anorexia-nervosa

Sure, weight gain is an important goal which is usually approached in tandem with psychotherapeutic approaches but usually patients cannot gain weight until they get the family and psychological help to help them integrate their dysfunctional approach to food.

Family based therapy doesn't really focus on what could be considerd the 'psychological causes' of anorexia. Patients are given a set amount of calories to eat per day by the team and therapy essentially resolves around supporting families to achieve this.

CBT has a strong evidence base for reducing behaviors but this also is targeted towards weight restoration, if required.

Weight restoration is, rightly or wrongly, considered to be paramount.

You'll find some good advise on the teen eating support thread under eating disorders.