15 yr old Son struggling to socialise

[SEwds]

Just wanting some reassurance i guess....my son has always struggled to find a friendship group....he isnt one for "banter" although at home his sense of humour is fantastic - slightly sarcastic if anything ! but he is started to become quite depressed. His so called friends call for him on the way to school but dont even acknowledge him when he comes out the house and dont talk to him. Lunch times they dont even acknowledge that he is sat with them and apparently he is the ridicule of all the jokes. I have said to find a new group of friends but he is saying friend ship groups already exist and no one likes him. It breaks my heart cause all he has ever wanted is a friend that asks how he is , or says happy birthday to him on his birthday. He is currently applying for colleges to get away from everyone but i do worry if there is an underlying problem with him just not being able to socialise...anyone else have the same? or anyone got any suggestions on how i can help him? thank you

I would speak to the pastoral person at school op. They obviously can't force people to be friends with your ds but they will have experience of this issue and will be able to support him with it. He will find his tribe eventually

He sounds so lovely, sensitive, and probably with more emotional intelligence than his current peers. I would say he's got a great plan in mind; start a new college, re-invent yourself. What a lovely mum you are to care so much.

School is not the only place for your son to make friends.

Does he do any activity outside schools? that's what you should be looking at. He can join a club/group/class and learn a new skill (music, art, sport, dance) and meet a new set of people his age beyond his school who might have more in common with him. That will also help with his confidence.

Going to college will also provide him with more opportunities to socialise with a wider range of people who might be closer to the type of person he is.

Frankly the kids in your son's schools sound like idiots...I don't blame him for not wanting much to do with them.

It breaks my heart cause all he has ever wanted is a friend that asks how he is

ime with ds(16), teenage boys don't seem to do this. ds has had friends who have had to isolate and one who tested positive and if I ask him how his friend is he'll say he doesn't know, but he must be ok as he was on PlayStation earlier. When I ask him why he hasn't asked he says "people" just don't do that! . It may just be a maturity thing.

I don't understand why they are calling for him if they are not his friends, do they speak to him if your ds strikes up a conversation? Some groups of teenage boys just don't have great conversation skills.

Being the ridicule of all jokes and the impact on his self esteem would be more concerning. It doesn't sound like he is confident within the group.

It might not be him, maybe he hasn't found his people. Going somewhere else for sixth form college and meeting different people sounds like a good plan.