Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Depressed 16 years old - help me help her !

3 replies

Italianmoma1983 · 09/12/2020 20:25

She has just admitted that she is feeling really low/sad all the time since she started school. She is in 6th form now and only has one friend - she started secondary school with a good size group friends but for various reasons ended up only with one friend. I blame myself I should have forced her to do more activities after school but she never was interested.

She is doing well academically but her one friend is doing better than her and she is feeling really down about it. I tell her it doesn’t matter how well her friend does - she shouldn’t compare etc...the week end this one friend also has a boyfriend so can’t see dd very often at the week end. The situation is not helped with Covid. The week end she is mainly in her bedroom chilling or studying, with us as a family but otherwise has no life. I try to cheer her up, but I worry I say the wrong thing. I tried not to say too much and listen. It is just so hard to see her down like that. I wish she had more friends. She is off to uni in a couple of years and I’m sure things will be different but how can I help her now ? Thank you for reading

OP posts:
Leannethom85 · 09/12/2020 22:53

You couldnt force her to do anything she didn't want to do anyway, it would cost you money for something she wasn't interested in.. Before she was down what did she enjoy doing? Did she like animals ect.. If she likes pets what about getting her a pet hamster to look after..

hermionegranger · 09/12/2020 23:29

I was an incredibly depressed teenager - I changed from being very academically strong and socially capable at 14 to a complete hermit with one friend by 16. I went from being very promising to being asked to leave my school for low grades and poor attendance within the space of two years and it destroyed me.
The first step is that you have noticed and want to help. My parents either didn't notice or decided to ignore it and it took me many many years to climb out of it in my own.

I would make it clear to her that you care enormously and will support and love her through anything, whatever her achievements. You can't force her to do anything and trying to do so could push her further away and make her feel worse if she is feeling like she doesn't have the energy to do simple things at the moment.
Keep up communication with her, but don't try and gloss over the fact that she is feeling sad with 'fun' or 'energetic' activities. You need to help her solve the problems causing her depression.
I found that antidepressants gave me the launch pad I needed to even begin to start breaking out of it. It also made me take it seriously as an illness rather than just feeling hopeless, inadequate and ashamed.
Counselling could also help give her a safe place to talk where she isn't judged and it's 'anonymous', if this is an option for you I would encourage it.
Most of all she needs love, understanding, patience, and reassurance. Good luck OP to you and your DD.

Bettyboop82 · 10/12/2020 19:26

Could you do book her some horse riding lessons for a surprise Christmas present? This probably sounds a very random suggestion but it’s something you can enjoy doing solo, without feeling self conscious and she may make some new friends (lots of teenage girls ride). Horses are also great therapy in my experience...

New posts on this thread. Refresh page