Should I punish for this behaviour?

[SomelikeitHoth]

DS is in Y10. He has a lesson once a week for two hours to complete any homework/ course work etc. I can see he has been googling about online games and playing some games on his phone .
His knew exactly what he needed to do this morning (a piece of coursework with a deadline ) and I'm fuming he's obviously just time wasting. I think the staff in charge has not noticed due to social distancing in class?

I don't actually understand your post. Is this private tuition that you're talking about? Presumably he needs to spend more than a couple of hours per week on homework in year 10?

Rather than rushing in to punish, I think I'd want to find out why he was playing games on his phone. Is he struggling with the work? Not finding the set-up very conducive to study? Feeling overwhelmed or demotivated? Or just lazy?

At this age, I don't think punishment and coercion are really the best approach. You can't make him care about his school work. Much better to work with your child in a respectful way to help him understand why it's important to put in the effort and make the most of the opportunities available to him.

It is in school time. I think he would rather waste time than tackle the work. It's just so disrespectful and I'm disappointed

Is his homework over due? I can’t see the issue if it’s not done.

How can you see what he’s being doing? Are you on line stalking him?

Sorry that should say I can’t see the issue if it’s not late.

It shows in his browser history

It was only this morning though ans it’s still this morning, how often are you checking his browser history? And is the homework late?

How can you see what he’s doing at school?

Have you talked to him about why he didn't do the work during that time? Not in an accusatory way, but with a genuine wish to understand?

Maybe he finds it difficult to focus in a classroom environment? There are certain types of work that I couldn't do in a room full of people. Or maybe he is tired at the end of a school day and needs a bit of downtime before he can concentrate again?

You sound quite cross and judgmental tbh. I work with teenagers and also have one of my own. I find that they tend to respond better to adults who seek to understand where they're coming from and don't automatically assume that their behaviour comes from a bad place.

Sorry, just re-read your OP and realised that this isn't an after school thing, it's a timetabled lesson that he had this morning. The same principles still apply, though.

I'm also curious about how often you check his browser history.

Punish? I think talking it through would be a better approach. It's easy to turn teenage years into a battleground but it rarely has positive outcomes. Remind him you are on the same side and rooting for his future so he can have the best life possible and that he has a responsibility to himself to make it happen.

No, school should be able to determine their own punishments (unless a significant issue whereby parents need to get involved). It’s his problem, it will catch up with him eventually and he will need to deal with the consequences. If it doesn’t catch up with him, that’s a life lesson in itself. Sometimes you can get away with stuff, if you know how to blag it. Some people work that way and life ticks along quite nicely for them. Not saying it’s ideal but it does happen. I think you should back off and only get involved if it reaches a point where either he or his teacher addresses his lack of productivity/grades.

Is he behind on homework & coursework? Have you noticed a massive difference in his grades, that cannot be explained (baring in mind COVID)?

If he doesn’t know you check his history & finds out, he’ll feel like you cannot be trusted (pretty brave checking a teenagers internet history 😂)
Unless you suspect something sinister, I don’t understand why parents need to check internet history & text messages etc, when their children are older teenagers, I think it’s a violation of privacy personally..

If he’s in track just leave him be, he’s old enough to start managing his own time.
If not then just speak to him about it rather than ‘punish’ him 🤷🏻‍♀️

All just imho of course.

It sounds harsh, but I would leave him to it, if you have tried the usual talking etc. The old adage of you can lead a horse to water.
School will punish if his work is not done/is late.
At year 10, so age 14/15, he really needs to learn to self motivate somehow.

I have a 19, 16 and 14 year old. I've learned over the past few years that what a few people have said above is absolutely true, unless they care you are banging your head against a brick wall. Obviously you have to sometimes push a little, I might reward effort over results and explain that I understand they might hate some subjects and I don't blame them but for now they have to do it to get to the next stage of school. But yeah, definitely learned that you get further with the approach above. Also dont overthink the disrespectful thing, that's our idea of disrespectful and there is no malice behind it

by definition almost every bit of missed homework meant he was prioritising something else he shouldn't.

Are you going to punish for all of the missed homeworks? Will you come up with a hierarchy of acceptable & not acceptable time-wasting activity?

I dunno, I'm more carrot than stick on this kind of thing. Remind him why he wants to get the homework done & do well. What a pain it is (including nagging from you) if he slides.

If it is in school time then I would leave to the school to set the appropriate punishment if/when the deadline is missed. I would take the stance that a Year 10 pupil is capable of understanding what is expected of them and suffer the appropriate consequences that the teacher seems fit. No need for you to step in.

I wouldnt punish. I might talk to him and see if he wanted support with the work or help to focus but by Y10 theyve got to do it for themselves.