Quick - teen help before Ilose face!

[stickyj]

Right very quick info.My birthday on Friday,went out for meal with kids and friends who paid.Kids were horrible,bickering,poking,sulking etc so I grounded the three youngest for the weekend. Ages,14,12 and 9 tomorrow! Mortified at behaviour in front of friends and people were looking in pub! So yesterday 14DS was arsey and my dh was cooking a lovely meal to make up for the shitty Friday night. Long story but DS was fighting,being really rude and swearing at us. DH smacked his face when he called me a fing tw-t and then again when he called hima fing pratt! SOOOOO, ds is grounded and has gone to church after quoting Children's Rights Act at me and telling me he has every right to practice his religion! DH let himwalk out because what else can he do to him? He's grounded for two weeks as well extra so how do I save face now?Am thinking of talking to Youth Leaders at Church and shaming DS, who thinks they are the bees knees.Help,whjat shalI do?Have threatened to take everything out of his room,stop him going sking in Feb,which is already paid for and he's NOT coming out with us for DS's birthday treat.

IDEAS??

I am just back for a minute -

When you say you are not letting him win, it sounds as if your relationship with him is one big battle. If you are feeling wretched, i am willing to bet he is feeling the same.

I think communication is the key. Yes - he must take appropriate punishment for his behaviour, but he needs to understand how much he has hurt you, who loves him. 14 yr old boys don't have much empathy - they really are like large toddlers, but if you keep the lines of communication going, they come back to you in the end.

It is really important that you and dh present a united fromt - why not seek some advice from the youth leader. At least your ds's influence is the church and youth leaders, not the streets and drug dealers.

I have been there and it is not nice.

Have to go again now.

Custy we will get Lapin to put it on one of her bags

sorry sticky, i mean't your NOT that bad

Just a quickie-went to church and walked in like a scene from an old western. You know that music....Me (good) him(bad) church leader (not ugly, bit shocked). DS bluffing it out in corner and telling firends I was a big bad mummy. He never expected me to actually go to church and say what he said to his leaders!! HA HA!! Came out, got in car and cried...leaders said they would chat about it to him and that they would pray from me tooHe came home and had his tea, that I kindly left on a plate for him (not telling him of course that the cat had licked all his gravy off!)Not really but was so tempted. He made dh a coffee the next morning and was ok with me. Have since demanded an apology kind of, but as he is my computer expert don't want to push my luck. Have said I will go to Church wioth him next week (he's horrified and scared I will) but as my job is singing, I'd like to get into one of the Church groups but he's obviously praying hard as today I have a sore throat!! Kids eh, but I feel I stuck up for myself by talking to his church leaders and he now knows I won't give in

WE ARE THE MOTHERS(sigh, well mostly)

I am glad to hear that things are improving a bit.

I don't know if this is any comfort, but ds1 led me such a dance from the age of about 14 to 17, I almost had a nervous breakdown. He is almost 19 now, and this week he said to me - just in casual conversation - "I used to think you were a real pain in the a.., and far too interfering, but now I realise how much you cared about me and you were brilliant".

It made up for everything.

It is a bit like being on a rollercoaster ride that you can't get off - you just have to grit your teeth and hang on, and remember that you are not alone, and the great thing about places like MN is that you can get advice and support from people who understand.

Thanks for the support, people. God it's hard being a parent ain't it?

Went to have glass of orange juice yesterday, shook it up well... last teen person who used it had not screwed cap on, just sort of rested it on top.

OJ all over me and clean floor.

Teen person was at school so atill alive.

Thinking of grounding him for a year.

AIBU???

Don't buy any more orange juice - unless you can lock it up where he cannot reach it.

Work out the cost in time, effort and damages regarding the clean up and bill ds - deduct from his allowance.

Ds must wash the kitchen floor for you, the next time it needs doing, and also clean the fridge next time it needs doing.

Then when he has done it all, you give him a hug and thank him for making it up to you.

I was 3littlebats last time I posted on here - just in case it isn't obvious