Is this a sign of an eating disorder ? 12 half year old daughter.

[hugocat]

I'm starting to worry a little as my daughter seems to want to eat less and fill up on drinks. I find her sandwiches and fruit for her lunch uneaten in her school bag or in the bin.

She has money on her parent pay for meals at school but doesn't use it . She's gone off some favourite meals and just wants pizza. I've tried making new meals for dinner but she says she doesn't like them. She does eat fruit and veg though. I took her food shopping in the week and told her she could have anything she wanted.

Other than some fruits, it was junk and loads and loads of different types of drinks and I mean loads- more than food. Bottles of flavoured water, smoothies, milkshakes, fruit purée sachets etc .

She also has times where she's really grumpy and irritable. Other times she is happy and smiley. If I ask her what's wrong she just says 'I annoy her, go away' and shuts the door hard when I leave the room. She just wants to stay in her room chatting to her friends on FaceTime, listening to music, phone etc.

Would you say I have anything to worry about? She hasn't reached puberty yet. This might sound a stupid question but do you get pmt before your periods start? My mum suffered it bad and I do too. Is the drinks thing odd? Thanks

ETA she is a normal weight , slim but not skinny. Very into how she looks like all the time.

Should I ask her to go on the scales regularly or is this a bad idea? I never talk about anyone 'being fat or skinny' nor does she.

Do not ask her to go on the scales.
I honestly couldn’t tell you from what you have written but don’t make a thing about weighing her regularly that would be a huge mistake.

I think you definitely need to take this very seriously. She doesn't have the knowledge to make decisions on what's good for her, nutrition-wise, and she's making some bad choices there. All those drinks are full of sugar and will make her feel worse.

Does she get much exercise normally? I know you say she's locked in her room, but prior to this would she be out and about?

I'd hide the scales, tbh.

Is there someone famous she likes who's into health, so you can say, "Oh I was reading about X the other day and she said..."? I used to use my friend's daughter (who my daughter admired but didn't really know) for all sorts of things like that.

Def do not weigh her.

Have you checked her internet history to ensure she's not looking at weight/diet sites or YouTube videos?

I'd be worried if she's replacing food with liquids and very into her looks - it certainly sounds like disordered eating

Hello, state registered dietitian here. My feeling is that it isn’t definitely an eating disorder, but that it is a possibility. Throwing food away, loading up on drinks isn’t really normal and teenagers tend to be ravenous. All the evidence on EDs show that the earlier it is addressed the better. If allowed to take hold it can become lifelong. As a first step I’d go to the GP ( alone) and get some idea of what services are available in your area and ask for guidance. Good luck, but do not ignore this.

Thanks for the replies ladies, x

Hmmm... it's difficult to say. It could be that she just prefers junk and drinks to food. I never ate my lunch at school because there was nowhere to sit.

However, the propensity of junk and excess of liquids could indicate bulimia - liquids are easier to get back up.

Check whether she goes to the loo straight after eating and keep an eye out for a greasy film on the loo water. These are bulimia indicators.

However, she could just be being a 12 year old who likes sugar and is moody.

Sounds very much like normal teenage hormones, but they could be masking something else.

Just wondering what the arrangements for lunch at school are under covid restrictions? Could she not be able to spend time with friends, or is it very cold in the area she is supposed to be eating, or does she have a very limited amount of time to eat lunch and she just doesn't have time - drinks are quicker.