Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Aaaarrrgggghhhhh banging my head against a brick wall over DDs shoes for school!

25 replies

pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 20:40

DD is 13, I can honestly see where she is coming from, but we are worlds apart when it comes to school shoes, she wants cheap tacky shoes that are not lasting more than 3 weeks, and I want her to have something more sturdy - like Clarks or Bootleg.

She has real problems with her feet as they are very flat and wide, she cant keep slip ons on, so really needs to have lace ups!!! For home wear I do relax and let her wear whatshe likes, but I feel that she could cut me some slack and look at the shoes I would like her to wear. Honestly I wouldn't make her wear just anything, I am not that cruel. Plus she wears trousers so basically you cant even see her shoes that she is wearing!

So please what do other parents do when buying DDs shoes for school, surely I am not the only one that has this difficulty?

I have tried her suggestion on the shoes for the last 6 mths, but where she is so heavy footed (takes after her Mother) she is wearing them out so quickly, its costing me a fortune!

Someone please help!

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 19/10/2007 20:46

My dd has a pair of expensive black shoes for school. If she wants to wear other shoes - similar to your dd to school then she has to purchase them with her own money, they last about 4-6 weeks and fall apart and then she has to buy another pair.

Thing is it is her money she is wasting and her school shoes are sat on the rack by the door...

Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 20:47

Ivykaty, how old is your DD?

OP posts:
crkm · 19/10/2007 20:56

have you tried kickers? expensive but trendy and hard wearing. my dd (14) is always a nightmare for school shoes. she has to walk a mile to school and then home so she needs sturdy shoes. last year we got kickers and they have lasted. now she has grown out of them i wear them from time to time!! this year she refused all sensible options and got two cheap pairs of slip ons. after half a term one pair have worn out and the others left her with sore feet. she hasn't dared ask for a new pair!!!!

Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 20:56

Maybe I should have posted this in the " Am I being unreasonable" section

Am I being unreasonable for wanting good sensible shoes for school for DD who is 13! LOL

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 20:57

Yes we have tried Kickers, but because her feet are wide, they do not fit her! I would honestly pay the price if thay fitted well!

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 20:59

One shop assistant once described her feet pancake feet! Flat and wide!

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 21:18

Surely I cant be the only one that gets so stressed out over shoe shopping with DD!

Please help, we are going tomorrow!

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 19/10/2007 21:21

We came to this arrangment when she had just turned 14. She has a saturday job now - but used her pocket money( it goes straight in an account) before.

Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 21:24

So what kind of shoes do you call sensible/sturdy? Are they clarks/bootlegs or something similar?

OP posts:
themoon66 · 19/10/2007 21:50

what about boots.... if they are under trousers in any case.

mrsmike · 19/10/2007 22:02

But wouldn't 1 pair of Bootleg equal 3 pairs of New Look shoes? You could think of it that way round to minimise being annoyed at having to keep replace the cheap fashion type shoes?
I am worn out with arguing with teenagers and now try to persuade myself to put positive spin on things that I'd rather not happen ...

Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 22:02

Boots - Its against the school rules! I agree, if they are under trousers, but it would be just my luck for HM to catch her and send her home!

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 22:06

Mrsmike, that is originally what I thought, the amount of money I was spending on fitted shoes etc, unfortunately, the way DD wears her shoes, she would need a new pr every couple of weeks - literally. I have made her wear shoes longer than that to make her realise that"maybe Mum knows best!" But she is a stubborn mule!!! and wears the flippin' worn out things, glues the or even(she has been known) to sellotape them!!! She is a very heavy wearer of shoes!

OP posts:
mrsmike · 19/10/2007 22:14

It is SO difficult and exhausting. We have just had school shoe issues - ds2 wanted to wear skateboard type suede trainers with a white logo on. Only black shoes allowed though. After extensive debate and sulking he let me colour the white logo in black with a CD writer pen. I enjoyed doing this out of all proportion
So now wears the wrong type of shoe but at least the right colour.

Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 22:19

LOL, if only it was that simple!!!!!

OP posts:
goingfriggincrazy · 19/10/2007 22:21

Oh we've had the same problem with DD..she wanted skater type trainers but none of them were completely black,looked into all black converse-but I refused thinking they would get soaked in rain,hardly winter shoes -ok for summer though.She's got some hideous HUGE black bootleg shoes now *shudders but they do.Its frustrating.

Original poster
pinkbubble · 19/10/2007 22:23

DD, refuses to go into Clarks shoe shops! Can you buy Bootleg shoes anywhere other than a Clark shop??????

OP posts:
frogs · 19/10/2007 22:36

DD1 has These, which seem to be acceptable. She has adult size 8, so not much choice, and I refuse to let her well skimpy ballet flats to school.

frogs · 19/10/2007 22:36

...sorry, the style called Solar on there.

Original poster
pinkbubble · 20/10/2007 10:36

I showed her these, still not happy! Think its the stickler for"" having that something that perhaps my parent cares for me more than I think she does and I cant get away with as much as I think I can!!!!""

Oh crumbs, we are just about to leave for the shops, I can tell already that we are in for a day of it! Just had a horrible thought - I have another 2 DDs who are younger, please oh please don't tell me I am going to go through this with them as well!

OP posts:
GreenDolphin · 20/10/2007 13:07

My daughter now 16 has the opposite problem, feet very long and narrow. Up till a couple of years ago she would, under sufferance, wear Startrite/Rhino laceups, in fact she had the same style for about 5 yrs in a row! We had to travel 40 miles to get the right fitting some times. My older daughter happily wore them till she left school but this one is the epitome of "style over substance"! So is also on the treadmill of cheapo New Look etc that look tatty after one wearing and slop off her feet as she drags them along the ground pretending they fit! I have narrow feet too and get some shoes mail order but these have all been dismissed as too old fashioned, they are really so can't blame her! Last year she wore plain black trainers in desperation but even these are cast aside now, after I asked at school for special dispensation for her to wear them due to the problem of finding narrow enough school type shoes.

Original poster
pinkbubble · 20/10/2007 18:41

Well, I cant believe it!!!!!

Had a really successful trip and managed to get a pair of school shoes that we both agreed on!!!!!!!

It was the first shop, even first pair she tried on AND they were in the sale!

Afterwards DD told me she had been dreading the trip, I laughed as I told her so had I!

OP posts:
amicissima · 21/10/2007 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blandmum · 21/10/2007 16:37

Joseph Seibel shoes? flat, comfy?

or Ecco?

they are expensive but do wear well, and are very cofortable if you are on your feet all day

Original poster
pinkbubble · 21/10/2007 16:41

Kangeroos are the make! Think she liked them because they came from a nice shop and not a Clark/Startrite shop!!! LOL

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page