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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Sleepovers for 13 yr old girls

27 replies

honeycombe · 20/11/2020 19:12

My DD had a sleepover for her 13th at ours with 5 friends who mix with each other at school anyway so social distancing isn't a thing, last weekend. Now she's saying she wants them all to have a sleepover tomorrow again at ours with them for one of the other girl's birthday coz we have a bigger spare room they can sleep in. I initially said no why can't they just do it at the others girl's house as it's her birthday but my DD said there wasn't much room at hers so she's already said they can without asking me although she says she did but I thought she was saying that they were going to have a sleepover, I just assumed it would be at the other girl's even though she says she did say which I'm not sure to believe (she prob muttered under her breath just so she can say she did say it. ) Am I being unreasonable? Is it usual girls always do big sleepovers? My older son only had a few so I'm not familiar with teenage girls.

OP posts:
treeeeemendous · 20/11/2020 19:13

Are you in the UK?

Yes my daughter has always had big sleepovers with her friends, but not since March this year!

Ffsffsffsffsffs · 20/11/2020 19:16

Fucksake.

Lockdown.

They're in bubbles within school only, no social interaction outside school. No sleepovers.

I literally didn't read any further on your post op. Now isn't the time to be arguing with teenagers about sleepovers

Original poster
honeycombe · 20/11/2020 19:17

Yes, but as they are in school together and in close contact I thought I would allow her birthday as she's had a really hard year with anxiety and I wanted her to at least be able to do 'something' nice for her birthday even though it's not strictly allowed. I classed them as her support bubble

OP posts:
Temporarything · 20/11/2020 19:17

Yes they are in a bubble but we need to minimise unnecessary contacts so sleepovers are not it.

MerryMarigold · 20/11/2020 19:22

They are in a bubble with each other but not with you, or anyone else in your house.

No sleepover, OP.

AlexaShutUp · 20/11/2020 19:22

Yes, but as they are in school together and in close contact I thought I would allow her birthday as she's had a really hard year with anxiety and I wanted her to at least be able to do 'something' nice for her birthday even though it's not strictly allowed. I classed them as her support bubble

She is not entitled to a support bubble. You are being incredibly selfish and irresponsible, but I guess you know that already and don't care. I despair.

Imapotato · 20/11/2020 19:22

I’m pretty relaxed, but there’s no way my dds would be having a sleepover in lockdown with one friend let alone 5!

I don’t mind them going to the park for a bit after school, but that’s as much as I’m prepared to bed the rules. They definitely shouldn’t be mixing indoors.

Avondklok · 20/11/2020 19:24

Sleepovers? Jesus!

bumblebumblebumblebee · 20/11/2020 19:28

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Lollypop701 · 20/11/2020 19:32

Op get your hard hat on🙈

SE13Mummy · 20/11/2020 19:49

I'm baffled by your decision to class five friends, presumably from five different households, as your DD's support bubble. There are very clear rules about forming support bubbles and mixing a total of six different households does not feature.

I, like many parents of teenagers, would like to be able to do something nice for their birthdays. My DD will turn 16 during this lockdown and would settle for being able to do pretty much anything with friends to celebrate her birthday but all she'll actually get to do is to go to school with them. And sit a couple of GCSE mock exams. Anxiety levels are sky high amongst her and her Y11 friends but there are enough adults in government going against the rules/changing the goal posts that having parents do the same would likely exacerbate the uncertainty, not alleviate it. They can't even stay after school to rehearse GCSE performances or to attend booster classes because that's what the lockdown restrictions dictate so there's no way - barring some kind of horrific accident or medical emergency that would otherwise result in her being home alone overnight - that sleepovers will be happening for her at the moment.

It sounds as though it would be useful for you to look at the restrictions with your DD, explain that last week's sleepover shouldn't have taken place and that you'd misunderstood the whole support bubble thing so she is clear that tomorrow's sleepover cannot take place.

Littlefish · 20/11/2020 19:58

I agree with the others.

You should not have had a sleepover for her birthday. Her friends are not her support bubble.

You should not either hold, or let her go to any further sleepovers.

Lockdown is crap for many people, including teenagers.

My dd has fairly significant teen birthday in lockdown. She's having an online pizza party with her 4 best friends.

MarshaBradyo · 20/11/2020 20:01

Op are you generally this unaware?

Don’t be silly and take responsibility

Gatehouse77 · 20/11/2020 20:02

As soon as they leave school they're no longer in a bubble.
It might seem mad, illogical or wrong. But them the rules.

No sleepovers.

McFarts · 20/11/2020 20:03

Absolutely fucking unbelievable!

What makes your daughter so special? ALL the kids have had a hard time.

cautiouscovidity · 20/11/2020 20:04

Are you for real? Yes the girls share a classroom throughout the week (which should still be Covid secure in terms of distance / not sharing equipment etc.), but a sleepover / visit to each others' homes is not in the same league at all. I cannot believe that you think it's acceptable to mix SIX households during a lockdown!

Blackdog19 · 20/11/2020 20:05

Why is lockdown so hard to Understand for some people?

Letseatgrandma · 20/11/2020 20:07

We are in lockdown. Don’t. Just don’t.

Dragongirl10 · 20/11/2020 20:09

Op my DD had to cancel her planned 14th birthday sleepover last April, and sit and have dinner with her parents and brother.....no what she was hoping...

When l said how sorry l was that her much awaited party couldn't go ahead she just said...'that's ok we all need to protect each other from this virus more than l need my party'...

Perhaps take this opportunity to educate your teenager and yourself on the importance of thinking about other people and the effect on them should you spread Covid.

Mommabear20 · 20/11/2020 20:12

Families can't see each other, my dad hasn't been able to travel to meet his first grandchild who was born in June, people are dying every day and the majority of the country is doing everything they can to minimise the spread to protect each other and our nhs, but hey let's have a sleepover for someone's birthday! Why the heck not! Not like the rest of the world matters! 😡

littlefireseverywhere · 20/11/2020 20:13

Yes to sleepovers, OP normally I’m fairly flexible but no mixing of households now is in force. So no to another sleepover!

Spied · 20/11/2020 20:13

@honeycombe

Yes, but as they are in school together and in close contact I thought I would allow her birthday as she's had a really hard year with anxiety and I wanted her to at least be able to do 'something' nice for her birthday even though it's not strictly allowed. I classed them as her support bubble
She'll be even more anxious if she gets coronavirus Hmm
feministbias · 20/11/2020 20:20

Are people really this thick or selfish?

Or is this troll?

bigbluebus · 20/11/2020 20:20

But you are not in their bubble at school OP (or indeed any other members of your household). How hard can it be to understand that no household mixing is currently permitted.

MrsRusselBrand · 21/11/2020 11:13

Jesus wept !
This is exactly the issue I have been struggling with , my DD is 13 , missed out on any birthday fun, so did some of her mates . Yet there are a couple of people who are carrying on regardless . It makes it so much harder for us who are trying to obey the rules . I haven't budged on it but it's upsetting for the kids who are seeing others doing it !!!
This boils my piss