Screen time for 15 Yr olds

[fuschia2000]

What do you all think is ok? I am aware some families allow kids to decide, also aware some folks are very strict.

Thoughts welcome!

Its very difficult to police as much of the homework is online and if anything like my two they disappear from view.

DS 16 pleases himself but is doing extremely well at school. DD 15 spends too much time on screens and is doing much less well at school but lies and insists most of schoolwork is online.

Dd1 almost 16 and dd2 almost 13 decide more or less for themselves.

They’re both doing well at school and get up on time in the morning, so I’m not too worried.

My experience with teens and internet is unusual due to dc's whose SN impact them using it safely.

However from a general perspective I say it depends on how responsible your teen is.

I would not be happy for my teen to be on it all the time. And certainly on school nights expect them to hand phone in by 9 to 9.30.

If they are constantly on a pc then you might choose to put time off limits in place etc.

I’ve only been strict about gaming and I get them to leave their phones and downstairs when they’re doing homework and overnight.

In 'normal' times I may behave differently but ds who's 15 has lost all his usual extra curricular stuff due to covid and being online with his girlfriend & friends is a lifesaver for him.

I go by how he is generally and I'm lucky that he's a well behaved, polite boy, he keeps his room tidy and is doing well at school. He's literally no bother and just a really sweet boy, on that basis I'm happy to let him muck around all hours on fifa etc

Ds15 pretty much manages himself during the day and is slowly getting better at self-regulating phone use. He studies hard and is doing well at school. He only plays the PlayStation when he's finished school work generally.
The only rule is he doesn't have his phone overnight. It's handed to us at 10(ish) on a school night (later at the weekend) to charge in our room. He was caught one too many times sneaking back downstairs and seems to accept the rule now as it takes the temptation away.

I'm really stuck on this one. I turn ds's off at 9.30 in the week and he is really bitter about it. But he already spends all his spare time lying in bed with it(netflix and tiktok). I've been trying to enforce limits since he first got one and it's our main battle. He doesn't do all the work he should for school, has no other activities (partly covid, partly being solitary teen), refuses 'family time', and is generally a mardy bugger - according to him, he'd be a much nicer and more industrious person if I stopped limiting his human rights, sorry, phone rights.

This is such a difficult one. In my mind, I have a clear idea of what I'd like i.e. no gaming and minimal screen time Mon-Thu, limited hours over the weekend. In reality, we have slipped during the pandemic and my son might do a bit of gaming after all his homework etc in the week, but not every day. He does seem to stare at his phone a lot though so maybe I should ask him to leave it outside the study when he's doing HW. We have always had a strict rule of no devices upstairs or in bedrooms at any time so DS (aged 14) does read before bed. All our phones (including mine and DH's) left downstairs over night. I do know friends who allow no gaming in the week nor TV (apart from news) and their kids do seem to have accepted it. I'd like to be in that place. ;)

I find it impossible to police my 15 year olds screen time
He's doing ok in schools and is a dream compared to me at 15 so I mostly just let it go

Revisiting this thread as holidays are upon us! Thanks for your comments above.

For me I would limit xbox/ switch time to weekends only, but my husband has allowed him two evenings during the week , plus Friday and Sunday evenings - finding it so stressful and upsetting - DS is bright with good grades and does extra curricular tennis and football although these are curtailed due to covid19.

Don't know how to negotiate with partner and DS, either for the holiday period or in New term. Understand that gaming can be social and way to connect with friends but seems to be taking over our lives/ arguments/ family discussions.

If he's doing well at school, generally a good kid etc then just leave him to it.

At 15 they need social interactions with their friends, particularly during the times we are currently living in.
My ds is on and off his PS4 all week but he does his homework, joins us for dinner every evening and still enjoys a family film night etc at the weekend.
He's happy and I'm grateful for that.

At 15 he should be learning to manage his own time, so if school work is good and behaving well then I would let him suit himself. Especially with gaming as during covid as well as winter any other socialising is difficult. When back to normal socialising and extra curricular activities will reduce the time available for screens anyway.

In a school holiday with no visiting, no socialising and no family day outs I will be much more lenient.

Thanks so much for your comments, so appreciated. I find the topic very challenging and worrying so its so helpful for this forum and to hear other's views.

My Ds is allowed on his PS4 only weekends during term time but I am relaxed about it over the holidays, However I am a little concerned his grades have slipped a little this last term could be because of March lockdown or because he has started GCSE but generally he’s a pretty good kid. Can I ask how many hours your DS’s are gaming in a day? As because of the restrictions I place on him I find he will spend most of his weekend on there.