Delayed Puberty concerns

RachGreen36 · 2020-11-14T05:11:14+00:00

Hi all, I have a question related to my teen son. He had an operation aged 8 on undescended testicle. He was seen for annual check ups until aged 11, and then discharged. He’s now 15, about to turn 16 and I’m concerned about his development. Whilst his voice has deepened, he is quite tall, and has a small amount of extra body hair (not needing to shave) I am concerned that he isn’t developing in the way he should. Whilst we have a close relationship I am really unsure how to broach the subject of his development, without causing him embarrassment or undue worry. He rarely sees his dad, so not something he would have an insight into. I’m a single parent, and he doesn’t have any male relative he’s close to that he/I could ask for advice. I don’t have any embarrassment about discussing it from my perspective, but it’s difficult to know exactly how to ask if he thinks he’s developing “normally” as I’m not sure he would know if he is himself. I’m tempted to speak to my gp about it, and go from there? Any ideas or similar experiences would be extremely helpful! I’ve been a single parent for 15 years, and this is (luckily) the first time I’ve asked for help on here, so please be kind. Many thanks

FortunesFave · 14/11/2020 06:12

Whilst his voice has deepened, he is quite tall, and has a small amount of extra body hair (not needing to shave) I am concerned that he isn’t developing in the way he should.

If his voice has deepened and he's grown taller, then it seems fine...what exactly are your concerns? My DD is 16 and the boys do vary a lot...some are skinny and hairless...others look like young men!

rorosemary · 14/11/2020 06:16

Maybe you can suggest a GP appointment to check if everything is well since he had the testicle operation years earlier? Him becoming 16 might be a good start. He'll probably rather be seen by a GP than his mum.

Londonnight · 14/11/2020 06:35

He sounds absolutely normal. If his voice has deepened and he has grown taller the I am sure he is fine.
My son had delayed puberty due to his illness. At 14 he was still shorter than me [ I am only 5ft ] with no signs of puberty at all.

You could speak to your GP to just reassure yourself. I doubt very much that you will be able to see anyone unless an emergency, but they are doing phone converstations.

xyzandabc · 14/11/2020 06:47

If his voice has broken, he's tall, he's got hairier, sounds like puberty is well under way. What is it that is concerning you and making you think puberty is delayed?

slothtrot · 14/11/2020 07:03

@xyzandabc

If his voice has broken, he's tall, he's got hairier, sounds like puberty is well under way. What is it that is concerning you and making you think puberty is delayed?

This. My 16 year olds voice has deepened, he's growing faster than I can measure but he doesn't need to shave, I think it's all normal.

Mollscroll · 14/11/2020 07:07

Worth asking the question though. I am also a single mum to a boy and I am not sure how I would know if all was right - Undescended testicles for example. There isn’t much out there about puberty for boys compared to what’s available for girls. I bought my son a book which I have read but it’s very much about feelings and spots.

Liljan0 · 14/11/2020 07:27

My husband had no chest or leg hair. He never needed to shave and counted it as a blessing. I think your son is perfectly normal and I wouldn't think of broaching such a discussion with a 16 year old, it will put unnecessary concerns into his head.

17thEarlOfOxford · 14/11/2020 07:31

This sounds very much like me at 16. I didn't need to shave until I was 17, and then started going bald at 19

slothtrot · 14/11/2020 07:36

Starting shaving at 16/17 is normal according to google, facial hair comes in late puberty,

triceratops12 · 14/11/2020 07:38

Oh god don't ask him, he will be mortified. He sounds perfectly normal.

movingonup20 · 14/11/2020 07:50

It sounds completely normal. Dd had a friend whose voice didn't break until 17! Still in normal range. My dd was 16 for her first period, dr wasn't concerned particularly, said they would run blood test if she still hadn't started by the summer (after exams) she did.

userxx · 14/11/2020 07:53

@17thEarlOfOxford Sorry but that made me laugh.

MumOfPsuedoAdult · 14/11/2020 08:06

I agree with the sentiments in this thread - the low voice and height indicate that he's developing normally. I completely empathise though, I'm also a single parent of one boy who doesn't have a relationship with his father (more of that for another thread) and understand your concern, I was there too. My son is now 19 and while he's mostly caught up with his peers (he's still very skinny) it was very late. When he was 15 he was being mistaken for 12 and was very small. It didn't help that he was at an all boys school and some of them had full beards at 14. At 16 he took himself off to the GP who reassured him that there was nothing to worry about and that he just needed to be patient. I think he's still growing.

Original poster

RachGreen36 · 14/11/2020 11:14

It’s regarding the size, as it doesn’t seem to developed. Not that I’ve actually seen it, as such xx

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Original poster

RachGreen36 · 14/11/2020 11:17

@triceratops12

Oh god don't ask him, he will be mortified. He sounds perfectly normal.

We have a great relationship and openly talk about everything. Due to his testicle issues, my concern was it may affect then development of them further.

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Original poster

RachGreen36 · 14/11/2020 11:19

@MumOfPsuedoAdult

I agree with the sentiments in this thread - the low voice and height indicate that he's developing normally. I completely empathise though, I'm also a single parent of one boy who doesn't have a relationship with his father (more of that for another thread) and understand your concern, I was there too. My son is now 19 and while he's mostly caught up with his peers (he's still very skinny) it was very late. When he was 15 he was being mistaken for 12 and was very small. It didn't help that he was at an all boys school and some of them had full beards at 14. At 16 he took himself off to the GP who reassured him that there was nothing to worry about and that he just needed to be patient. I think he's still growing.

Thankyou for understanding. ✊🏻 He’s a confident kid, and used to being around medical settings as I’m in and out of hospital regularly. However, it’s different when it’s about yourself so I think a gp call would be good xxx

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Original poster

RachGreen36 · 14/11/2020 11:33

Thankyou for all your responses, lots of support and empathy which is lovely. My son is generally very confident and at ease talking to adults. He is mature in a lot of ways, but others not so much. He’s never sworn, a stickler for rules and anti drink and drugs. He’s not the sort of child to make “dirty jokes” (He has a very quick witted soh though!) until recently he wouldn’t watch a tv show after the water shed incase it had anything inappropriate (his words 🤣) We have a great relationship and he is open with his feelings, and comes to me with any issues. My main concern really is that his undescended testicles may have impacted on their development as they don’t seem to have grown (not that I’ve actually seen them) It can cause fertility issues and increase the risk of testicular cancer if untreated, so we have discussed him checking them like I do my boobs (again, something we have discussed as my mum had breast cancer) My GP is excellent, so I’m going to ask her advice and go from there. I’d hate to do nothing and him get a partner and discover there’s an issue and it’s too late to help. It’s one of the only times that having his dad around would be useful. If I’d had to talk to my Dad (who I’m close with!) about periods, id have felt uncomfortable as he wouldn’t be able to give first hand advice. Thanks again for all of you who left kind and helpful advice, it’s very much appreciated xxx Rach

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WeAllHaveWings · 14/11/2020 15:53

ds is nearing 17, and sprouting, around 6ft 1in at last measurement.

It is only recently he has the tiny slightly darker moustache hairs growing at the corners of his mouth and some light armpit hair and getting hairier legs (which he hates as the hairs stick in his joggy bottoms). Voice has dropped this year too.

No idea what is happening downstairs, which seems to be your main concern. Even without your ds's history, I talked to my ds about how to check himself regularly for lumps and bumps, showed him a couple of online pictures (not photos) and told him if anything seems awry or he has any concerns he can call the gp to discuss, or I could make an appointment for him. With you ds's history do the same thing, but just tell him due to his op he should be just a little more aware. Personally I wouldn't call the GP unless my ds asked me to.

Original poster

RachGreen36 · 14/11/2020 17:58

@WeAllHaveWings

ds is nearing 17, and sprouting, around 6ft 1in at last measurement.

It is only recently he has the tiny slightly darker moustache hairs growing at the corners of his mouth and some light armpit hair and getting hairier legs (which he hates as the hairs stick in his joggy bottoms). Voice has dropped this year too.

No idea what is happening downstairs, which seems to be your main concern. Even without your ds's history, I talked to my ds about how to check himself regularly for lumps and bumps, showed him a couple of online pictures (not photos) and told him if anything seems awry or he has any concerns he can call the gp to discuss, or I could make an appointment for him. With you ds's history do the same thing, but just tell him due to his op he should be just a little more aware. Personally I wouldn't call the GP unless my ds asked me to.

Weallhavewings thanks so much. We went for a walk today, which I often think is the best time to chat as you’re not face to face and it’s not as confrontational. My uncle, sadly, has prostate cancer and DS was asking where it was (was hoping he would😜) and we got into the importance of checking bodies again. He brought up his operation and it was the perfect opportunity to discuss any concerns. He said it might be a good idea to see a gp, but said to wait until we could do face to face again, so problem solved! xxx

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candle18 · 14/11/2020 23:11

Why do you think his testicles haven’t developed as they should if, as you say, you haven’t seen them and your son hasn’t expressed concern?

DIKateFleming · 16/11/2020 19:15

A family member has a rare medical condition called Kallmanns syndrome which is linked to the pituitary gland and one of the main symptoms is delayed puberty. It’s unlikely but might be worth checking out. It’s not life limiting or impacting in a significant way, but can be helped with hormone treatment, so worth discussing