19 year old Dd

[stillananxiousmum]

So I have name changed for this . My daughter has deferred college due to covid which is fine . Back story she has suffered on and off with anxiety and mild depression over the secondary school years. She does not have many friends from school but a few through her hobby. I said she needed to find a job of taking a year out which she agreed too and she started in a large retailer this week. My heart is breaking for her as she is miserable. She has been introduced to no one and her supervisor yelled at her yesterday.

Her hours will be a bit antisocial too. She loves routine and there is no routine now .
I have asked her to see the trial period through just so as she can be proud to stick it out plus it's early days .
But equally I don't want to see her In depression again. She had another parttime job she loved but it's awkward to get too and not on at moment due to lockdown plus pay was atrocious.

I thought at this stage of parenting I would be done worrying !

I misunderstood your question, OP!

If she's got the confidence not to tell a whopper then that's good

I have anxiety and I have been your daughter. I worked for a big retailer in the UK and it set me back so much, every shift made me feel like a failure, I was there just over 2 weeks and one day I just went in and gave the manager a letter and said thank you for the opportunity but I just can't do this. Big retailers can be great, or they can have an absolutely cliquey set of staff where if you're slightly odd or shy, they do bully. I then got a job in a fast food restaurant and honestly it was the exact opposite. I found my "people" and would actively pick up extra shifts just to hang out there. When you know, you know. You sound like a wonderful Mum, tell her you love her and you support her either way because guaranteed she'll be worried she's disappointing you or letting you down in some way, even if youve never said that! The anxious mind can be tricky. No job is worth feeling that way, it took me a while to realise it but honestly, it's not.

@YouDidWHATNow thank you for sharing that with me . I think you know when you know it's not right . And it's not a sign of failure . My husband reminded me of 2 jobs he left after the first week and it never held him back .
She spoke to her friend yesterday and she told her her very first day on her job she felt happy .

She is going to go back to her previous job I think when they reopen and ask for a few more days a week . I don't think there will be an issue .

Had a big chat too and she is going to help her aunt out with the special need kids and start getting out there a bit more and unbeknown to me she has been looking at some short courses . She will have college next autumn all going well.