Teen won't lockdown - anyone else?

[TheLookOfLove]

My 16 year old refuses to stop going out and seeing friends.

I'm a single parent,he's much bigger than I am. He's quite aggressive and always on " a short fuse" . ( for which we have had intervention in the past, but that's another story). He intimidates me and I tend to walk on eggshells at the best of times.

Aside from him paying the fine if hes picked up,what on earth can I do? I'm hoping that none of his friends will be allowed out so that will sort it, but I feel useless in that if he decides hes going,he just will.

I wouldn’t let it ruin your relationship as that will last much longer than covid.

It’s no more risky than him going to college.

Not ideal; but I would let it happen, especially if outside etc

Take away every single pair of his shoes

Be grateful he has good friends to spend time with. Social isolation for teenagers (and all of us, really), is potentially much more dangerous.

A teen here. Do you have other kids? It might be nice to take a different approach; create a reason for him to stay at home. Tell him you'd like to play some games with him and siblings if applicable. Also if he's into video games, surprise him with the latest version of his favorite game. Or ask if he can show you how to play. In general, just make him feel like he is wanted at home for his good skills. If he is intimidating then I'd say this might be a safer option

It's like everything else they do on transition to adulthood; they need autonomy to make bad decisions or they won't learn how to make better decisions.

My son wouldn't stay in in the first lockdown he's now moved in with a friend and is making up lies to the social services so he doesn't have to come home. Plus the family he's with don't stick to the lockdown so he's happy there. I know it's hard for teenagers at the moment but it hopefully won't be forever.
I have hardly spoken to him in 2 months then we get Christmas cards through the door yesterday bit early but think he wants a return on it.

Sal

I've not seen people taking lockdown seriously, adults,teens..

I'd just let him be. As a PP said,you have to balance MH needs too.

Ds goes out cycling with a friend. He is 15 and he has 2 main friends both just turned 16
He needs to relax after all the mocks pressure.

Stop being soft with him. Your the boss your the adult your the parent. Put Your foot down

@SirSamuelVimes fyi many people have got seriously ill with COVID who had no underlying health conditions.

Is anyone else in an area where absolutely nobody is following lockdown? We seem to be,and that's bound to make it harder for anyone to enforce it with their teenagers if all the rest are out so I have some sympathy.
I'm not just talking about teens but everyone. Its business as normal here...

@madcatladyforever

Id be changing the locks while he was out. If he's living with you for free you make the rules.

That's really going to keep him at home

I’m like you, my DS is 16, he has MH issues, can be very aggressive. There is nothing I can do really. I just said also I won’t pay the fine. He is old enough to know what he is doing. Lol at the lady who said “your the boss”. Unfortunately not the case here. For single mums with large sons who can get aggressive, this is unfortunately not the case. Wrong; sad, but what do you do? Would love to have an answer on that one

OP, don't put yourself in any danger. Dealing with a demand avoidant teen who is bigger than you is tricky.

You really can't physically stop him going out. If he'll listen, you can remind him of the consequences of his actions and hope he'll make the right decision.

You can let him know that you won't facilitate him breaking the rules. (So no lifts if he gets stuck and no allowing others back to the house). And if he gets caught, he pays the fine.