So how are your teenagers coping with the world right now?

[Wishingforanotherlife]

I thought mine were ok but I think they are having their moments. DD is 17 and desperate just to finish school and get away which is impossible because of Covid. DS is 15 and his normally happy go lucky self seems have morphed into isolating in his room with his phone and he seems really down all the time. I consider ourselves lucky in that we have a warm, safe home with no financial issues and live in a decent area with plenty access to open space. But even for us life is becoming more and more bleak. I could weep for the young ones - I try to remain upbeat for their sake but I sense that they have a gloomier and gloomier disposition as time goes on.

They cannot see friends properly, the news is full of Covid, corruption with idiots in power, Trumpism, Brexit divisiveness and generally not a lot of happy stuff to filter into their lives.

Just feeling it a bit today and needed to muse on here.

My 15 year old is existing in a virtual world so gaming at every opportunity (which suits him just fine). He isn't a sociable person so it's no major change for him apart from the added pressure of Y11 at school.

My 18 year old is coping with a combination of anti depressants (started just before the first lockdown) and keeping herself busy. She's the one who was always meeting up with friends so it's hit her the hardest. Plus a lot of her friends have gone off to uni and are making new friends whilst she's opted for a year out.

We don't have a tv downstairs so we're not watching the news constantly but we do listen to it on the radio and discus politics, Covid and Brexit. However I feel that DH and I are both positive people so we try to instil this in our DC. It's hard going sometimes though.

DD(15) is isolating after testing positive for COVID. She needs to be studying for mocks but the virus has wiped her out. She's resilient but I think that is going to be tested over the winter. At the moment she is consoling herself with on-line clothes shopping

Not too bad, we don't have the news on only music on the radio. They do gaming with friends but have a bit of homework really. I'm worried about the GCSEs though and grades have slipped over lockdown

DS 18 says stressful and there is no purpose to his life now. He is a musician. All shows and performances cancelled.

My 18 year old is keeping himself busy. He works 3 shifts a week at a supermarket and delivers for a takeaway on Friday nights. College is all online three days a week so he doesn't actually have much time outside all that anyway. He has started going on the Xbox a bit more in his spare time as he says that's where his mates are all chatting.
It's really crap for them - they've missed out on so much this year. He seems ok in himself though. I've actually been pleasantly surprised by how mature he's been about it all this year despite the many disappointments (missing his first lads holiday and a family trip to Rome we had planned for his birthday).

Lockdown was horrendous. Frustrated, withdrawn and shockingly aggressive. Then finally got back into his individual sport and things were good ......... and now activities have stopped again.
Barely seen family for months. He's missed out on so many things I took for granted when I was his age. So many things have been cancelled
He's on You Tube and Minecraft constantly, thank heaven school is open! (for now?)

Hello everyone!

This is such an important question as teens right now are experiencing a completely changing and chaotic world right now through new eyes. It's only natural that they will need to process all of this and cope somehow. I've found teens tend to deal with things in a more positive way when there are coping mechanisms in place for them Before they'll need them... Here's a resource I wrote that I hope some of you might find helpful for some teen coping skills.

Coping Skills for Teens

My 13yo DS is showing more signs of stress than I'd like. He is on his phone a lot (not social media as such though) and is tired and anxious.

Not great. My 16 year old is really down. Says he doesn't feel happy or sad. He just feels numb.
Tried to persuade him to talk to someone but he refuses point blank.
Tbh he was kind of going this way anyway but lockdown has made it worse.
He has friends but says he would rather lie in his room on his own listening to music

He is so far from the happy, characteristic, mischevious boy he was a year ago.

16 and 14 year old are ok BUT I can see they are missing crucial independence and social skill development periods and it is making the 16 year old anxious and sometimes miserable. 14 year old way too happy to be spending ALL her time online and i have no alternatives to offer. I can foresee how hard it is going to be to change this once things open up.

Does anyone else think we are going to have a lot of problems with gaming addictions?

Dd is putting a lot of pressure on herself to get good grades in her mocks in a couple of weeks....she's worried that these could end up being the real grade she gets.
During the first lockdown she was so motivated she did couch to 5k and a full days worth of school everyday.
She's really got into boxing as her usual martial art hasn't restarted at all as it's full body contact and is gutted she has to stop, dh will train with her a bit on our gym but it's not the same.
She's one of only 3 in her form that hasn't had a period of self isolation...we are a big family and feel like we've been so lucky so far but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

DD is hanging in there. GCSE year, so really stressful not knowing what's happening with exams etc, and really missing all of her extracurricular activities and the opportunities that she has lost out on. I'd say that her stress levels are pretty high, but she is resilient and coping pretty well overall.

Really well, actually. Their resilience has surprised me. They coast along. 12yo DS missed learning when no f2f classes, but happy enough now. Big DS has new job he sorted himself.

Glad I've read this Ds1 is 14 and hardly ventures out apart from school. He lives for football and that's stopped. He was going to scouts and boxing gym but that all stopped earlier this year. I feel sad for him, he's not the most outgoing at the best of times and covid has limited his interaction further. The only positive is that he hasn't had to self isolate yet. I worry- a lot.

Ds also 14 @Makinglists and in much the same position. Lethargic, spends most of the time in bed watching box sets and even if we saw him we've all run out of conversation, plus dp and I are having to spend loads of time caring for elderly relatives. Too self conscious to go out alone and his social life is non-existent. Very irritable. Of course some of this is just 14ness but he so needs his chance to spread his wings :(

DD(16) is much more angry and tearful than usual. It has bit her really hard but at least she is talking about it. DS(14) is utterly miserable. Lethargic, anxious, muted. I don't think people with younger kids necessarily understand. DS2(7) is absolutely fine! Smaller kids tend to prefer being at home to anything else really, whereas it's unnatural for teens.

Not too bad, disappointed that all sports are cancelled again, but school keeps them busy with various tests and exam preparation so they keep going. They can still see a friend outside, so its a positive. And Netflix.

My two are doing ok. 16 year old DD busy with school and has been going out after school for a walk with a friend. This weekend will be a test for her though as she’s usually out with friends, shopping/having lunch etc.

DS is happy gaming and watching films. His activities have gone virtual on Zoom so he can continue with those. He’s going on a bike ride with a friend later to celebrate his 14th birthday this weekend!

My two are 19 & nearly 18, they are coping fine, they are brothers & best friends so that makes it easier for them. I feel so sorry for all the kids, my eldest is missing playing sports etc some are really struggling, we all need life to get back to some normality.

My dcs are y11 and y13 so crucial exam years. I am conscious of how much education they have missed. School are putting some additional sessions on but my 15yo in particular is a fair way off her target grades. Added to that they both struggle to motivate themselves for independent study. They started off well in the first lockdown but were not getting much feedback/guidance from school, especially my y11. She has also had two periods of SI since term began due to positive cases in her bubble. Dh and I are key workers so haven't been at home to support the home schooling throughout.

Dd15 is v anxious, and fluctuating low mood. She has been self harming for a couple of years and whilst she seemed to improve during first lockdown (I think stress of school reducing) she has deteriorated again. The support package school was working on at the beginning of the year never materialised, because, Covid. We have a CAMHS referral in process via the GP as I need to get some support in place for her asap.

Eldest DC is doing ok. Very introverted and into gaming, music, individual pursuits. Socialising has always been online so not significant change in his way of life and they seem happy enough. However, we would really like to push DC1 out of the nest a bit, in preparation for uni next year. Lockdown is keeping him well within his comfort zone, at at time when he needs to be spreading his wings.

Mine seem to be OK, almost worryingly so.

19yo DS1 has a "temporary" job that has now been doing for 18 months and recruitment stopped for what he really wanted to do. The dream he's had since 12yo completely in tatters but he's applying himself well to the job he has, seems to be doing well and enjoying the friends he's made there, although he hasn't seen any of his other friends for ages - many are away at uni, he had plans to go and visit. It's not really a job with prospects though so I worry for his future if this goes on much longer, but of course grateful he has something. I feel very sad for him but he's staying cheerful.

17yo DS2 is doing an apprenticeship. His weekly day release to college has been reduced to every other week with alternate weeks remote teaching and he hasn't been to the workplace since March. He's WFH but there's a limit to what he can do as an apprentice. Again, very grateful that they've kept him on but it must be affecting the quality of the training he's getting and his ability to build relationships with colleagues. He hasn't left the house for anything social in months, which is his comfort zone as he's very introverted, so that worries me, I think he'll find it very hard to go back to work initially but he seems happy enough.

I have two year 10s. One has had no disrupted school this term, while the other is on his third period of self isolation, which will result in five full weeks of not being in school this term.

I think this third one has started to get to him. It's impacting results at school too, with the half year groups in scoring better in assessments (home learning has been mixed sadly)

My 15DD is at boarding school and although they have lots of restrictions, she shares a room
with her 3 best friends so things could be much tougher.
My 13DS is a day boy. He is enjoying school but he says he's lonely at the weekends.
Today we have a full programme of chainsawing (DH only) wood chopping, dog walking, chutney and jam making plus the usual homework to be done, washing and ironing and cleaning. He will be run off his feet so no time to be feeling lonely today!!