16 yr old terrified of death

[Louisa1654]

I have a daughter and a son, my daughter is 16 and began fearing death and myself and my husbands eventual death. She never wants to leave us and has entered a cycle of depression. No therapy or anything is helping her and I’m worried. I don’t know how to make her happy again, I’m 50 and she thinks my time is running out! I have no health issues and I feel helpless and sad for her.

I had this after my father died aged 12 (im now 36). Unfortunately it gave me years of anxiety and fear which until i started my job in end of life care terrified me. Im now comfortable with death.
My advice would be to take her to the gp and ask for a referral.
Good luck.

That gives me hope for her, sorry for your loss. She’s always asking when it gets better or she’ll never be ok with death, it’s sad as a parent seeing he like this. I’m still not comfortable with death so I don’t want to scare her in this sense. The main fear that she is facing is not the process itself but getting old and being alone and not having me, as well as loosing all her memories which I DONT HAVE ANSWERS FOR! It’s a scary subject for everyone but if you have got through it I believe she can too 👍

If it helps you can show her this or read it out to her, but i hope it helps...

I used to be terrified of death, mainly because i was scared to leave everyone i loved. But let me tell you something..

I work in end of life care, mainly with people who pass due to cancer or dementia. I look after them, make them laugh, wash them and care for them. Sometimes this is for a few weeks and sometimes years. Im always with them till the very end.
I dreaded the passing of my first because i didnt know how id react but i had company that time and i just had to deal with it, i owed her that.
Im my career i have been with around 60 people as they have passed and one thing has struck me which gives me so much comfort... all of them saw the people they loved. Mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, daughters, sons. They came for them. when they saw them i knew they would pass shortly after and indeed they would.
So you see death isnt the end, we go somewhere, where i have no idea. I like to think Its another adventure with all those you have lost along the way. One thing we will all have to face is our own mortality.

I now am not scared i found alot of comfort in it and my anxiety around it faded further away. Theres still always the unknown but its not worth worrying over.

Live each day as if its your last xx

Thank you very much :) I showed her this morning and I could see she understood that the people she loved would be around her and it’s all peaceful. The problem I can never address is what happens after we die, whether it be nothing (which we won’t know) or something. This is the main area she’s terrified of, and for another reason, she’s afraid of being buried or cremated!! She’s scared in what will happen to her body which I really don’t know what to do!

Louisa, my 14 year old is like this and has been for a number of years.

What therapy have you tried? I have thought about going to the GP.

DC seems to panic about the state of 'nothingness' after death.

It is really distressing to watch your own child suffer in this way. My dd used to have minor panic attacks (mainly at night). She still has them but they seem to come less often.

Hi, yes she is still doing CBT therapy through the GP. I’m hoping this is just a phase as I’m in the same position as you. I feel helpless as I’m terrified of death as well!! Which is definitely not god for her. Best of luck x