I have twins who are 14. Their dad and I have been apart for 4 years and we have a shared custody arrangement that has changed a few times over the years as circumstances have changed. At the moment it is a week on, a week off. But they are often reluctant to leave my house and they extend their stay here mainly because they don't like their Dad's girlfriend . She has cameras downstairs that record sound and they think she listens to their conversations! They want to determine where they are much more and come and go between houses as it suits what's happening at school and arrangements to see their friends. So I'd like to set out some kind of guidance for them, so that they can let us know their preferences and so they are aware of times their Dad and I might have other things we are doing. Any advice on how to move them from an adult initiated schedule to some self determination?