Teen sexting

[dreamingofFrance]

Help! Have just taken phone off of DD age 13 after discovering sexting between her and 15 y/o boy who she met at the park. The stuff on Instagram is frightening enough, and it's probably a good thing I'll never see what happened on Snapchat. Obvs am totally in shock for such advanced behaviour, most of it coming from her. Her dad (we are seperated) has just ordered her a basic pay as you go and says she must use this now until she is 16. Her step-dad agrees.
What's everyone's thoughts on this please?
I thought I'd keep it from her for a couple of weeks and then ban snapchat and insist on checking it. Such confusing anxious times......
But 13!!!! WTAF???

Teenagers say things to be cool and keep in with people but they don't actually follow through.
I would tell her you have all passwords to her accounts to she is 16 and you will go through phone to check none off this chat continues and that boys will respect her more if she doesn't talk like that.
I have 2 dd one 15 and one 17 they said 13 too young and boys really don't like it long term and they talk about girls who talk like that.

This is exactly word for word what happened to me , tho it wasn't exactly sexting as such but explicit language, talk of exchanging pics , swearing and lots of reference to MH stuff like self harm . Basically a hot bed of mature stuff that she shouldn't be involved in at that age . The irony is she hasn't even kissed a boy or had a proper relationship ?!! We did the Nokia brick thing ( bought from CEX for 15 quid ) , threatened that but settled for deleting all social media other than WhatsApp. She is much happier , so are we . At least with WhatsApp you can see what's being said unlike Snapchat .
It's horrible OP , I feel your pain . I only have one child so I have nothing to compare it to !
Good luck and stick to your guns ... she is actually a much nicer child without the social media , I feel like it made her into a monster and she is more like her old self without it !

Thanks, yes this is all good advice. Glad to hear yours is better without SM @MrsRusselBrand. We recently watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix and was rather telling when all the people who work in the industry say they would never let their kids near SM.
My worry was about being socially ostracised without SM, but the WhatsApp is a good option.
Thanks for your kind words @Andi2020 and @MrsRusselBrand

@dreamingofFrance yes ! I watched it too , very interesting and insightful . My dd defo feels better and seems more herself but you're right , there is a fine line as she is missing out on her class group Snapchat for example . It's a hard balance and I think the main problem is their immaturity at 13 , they hear things and feel they need to be a certain way cos that's what they see on social media . For example , my dd was speaking to someone who had issues with self harm , she then pretended she had self harmed . When I spoke to her about it she felt that was the only way to support and connect with the other person . That's the immaturity issue , they don't understand how to deal with things like that. I think as they mature and grow this will all become less of an issue , it's an impressionable age and it's also an age when 'fitting in ' is so very important in their minds - a bad combination when your whole life is played out on social media , cos we all know that's not a fair representation of real life .
I honestly had no idea having a teenager would be this stressful , it's good to know we are not alone !!!

Very wise and yes, feels good to know it's not just us!

What sort of things were said.

Depends how you determine ‘sexting’

Tell her that this is not the correct thing to do and make her promise never to do it until she is old enough.
Don’t get too mad but be firm.

@DebraTheSuperMum

What a disgrace!!! Don't even let your child on technology at the first place. If I were you, I'd send her to catholic school right away and not let her have any social interactions with a male until she's married. SHE'S 13!!!

Made me chuckle