16 year old - am I being over protective

[BeingAMumIsHardWorm]

Hi, I'm new here but just wanted some advice.
DS is 16. He wants to go to China Town tomorrow and meet with some friends and then go to Westfield Shepherds Bush to hang out and then watch a film. He has a track record of not being very sensible when he's out. Lost iPhone, drunk once, run over as wasn't paying attention. Copious amounts of lost Oyster cards.
I really don't want to let him go but he is guilt tripping me saying i am being over protective.
On top of that I have only met one of the friends he is going with and even then only for ten minutes. Most of the rest are people that he has only "met" through social media.
One boy goes to his school in the year above
Am I being over protective ?

Not if it's more than six of them.

Does he know London well? Could he walk home (even if it’s 2hrs) if he lost all his stuff?

He's 16! He wants to meet friends and go to the cinema. My 14 year old daughter does this!

No you're not, hopefully someone will come along and advise how you should handle this.

hmm, hard one.

ds is 18 and dd1 is 15, so i have one either side of yours.

I think some of the things that bother me about this are:
how far is it? And how easy the journey and how familliar? So if the journey is easy for him, does it all the time, no issues, then that is one obstacle out of the way.

record of being daft. Do you expect him to drink? not great at 16 at a distance from home. What are the implications of him losing iphone etc, can it wait until he has saved up to replace? Is he getting better at this, learning, or if it still an issue. (in the end he will have to learn to manage these things, he has 2 years until he goes to uni)

but the biggest red flag is that he has only net these people online so neither you nor he really know anything about them. They could get him into trouble.

How many? Are they allowed under Covid? Surely you are tier 2, so that means no indoor meeting up etc, how many outside and how many households?

I tend to try and allow where possible, I tend to think the worst that can happen is he ends up staying out too late, misses train etc, and that at 16 he will learn from that.

I’d be okay with a purposeful visit but definitely not to hanging out at a shopping centre and would be v curious about the older kid.

London is in tier 2, he isn’t allowed to meet anyone in indoor setting? Having said that my local shopping centre had groups of school children together today 🤦🏼‍♀️

From Govt website - You must not meet socially with friends and family indoors in any setting unless you live with them or have formed a support bubble with them. This includes private homes, and any other indoor venues such as pubs and restaurants.

Sorry meant to say we live north of north London. So would probably be two or three changes on tubes / trains.

And actually it has just occurred to me, we are in tier two of lockdown so I don't think he's allowed to be inside with anyone outside of his household is he?

In normal times I would allow this. But against covid rules I think?

I would let him. I have 3 teen DSs and am fairly lenient with them. One has a black box in his car so i can see where that is, the other two allow me to see their locations though the "people" bit of Find my iPhone. Its not tracking as such, it just gives me peace of mid where they are etc. Would your son agree to that?

I don’t think you’re being over protective but at the same time he needs to have a certain amount of freedom.
What is it about the day that makes you most uncomfortable?
Meeting people he’s Only met online? Going to Chinatown? Previous lost items/drunk/getting run over? The travelling?
Could you take him and collect him? Or take him to the station and arrange to pick him up from there? Get him to text you at pre-arranges times?
It’s so hard parenting a teen! We need to let them have freedom but protect them all at the same time.

@BeingAMumIsHardWorm

Sorry meant to say we live north of north London. So would probably be two or three changes on tubes / trains.

And actually it has just occurred to me, we are in tier two of lockdown so I don't think he's allowed to be inside with anyone outside of his household is he?

yes, so the film and the shopping centre are out.

surprised the cineam is open at all to be honest, all ours are shut and we are tier 1

Covid aside, surely this is completely normal? I grew up in London and was going out all over central London from the age of 13.
We're in zone 2 London. My 13 year old daughter goes to town with friends all the time, it's fine!

Thanks for the replies everyone. I think it might be irrelevant now anyway because of tier two.

But the thing that worries me most is that he is going with people I don't know who he met online.
Also, in London teenage boys get a lot of attention from gangs etc. He has been mugged a few times. I have seen it myself when I am out with him and my younger DS, teenage boys tend to stare each other out and it just takes him to be seen to be 'disrespecting' one of them ....

I would not be happy with my sixteen year old meeting people she's only met online - no way!

I think you have to let him learn from his mistakes a bit at his age

I think you'll have to get used to him meeting people you don't know as he's 16 and it's normal to do that. But the Covid rules for tier 2 are not to meet people you don't live with indoors so that rules out the cinema. Suggest he does something shorter and outdoors instead?