GCSE’s and Revision

[NOOGADAH40]

My daughter, who has been a target 7 throughout school, is struggling. Her motivation to revise seems to be zero and she claims we are stressing her out by constantly going in at her about revision, and almost implying that she’ll not revise on purpose to make a point (ridiculous attitude from her I know!)
Do we just leave her to get on with it? Do we just let her risk failure? Or do we almost force her to revise? She’s known for a long time that she wants to study midwifery, but that will be difficult without the necessary grades.

I was just brutally honest with mine, it worked for two of them.
I used to say things like "It's up to you, it's your job prospects, I've done my exams thanks".
"Do you think the midwifery course is available to those without the grades?"
In response to her implying she won't revise on purpose "That's a shame, I thought you needed xyz for your course".
May work, just be constant, it's no skin off your nose. She may stop the stubborn attitude, for revision anyway

My DD2 is y11.
She currently isn't in school due to major MH issues.

However, I think there is massive pressure on this year's y11 cohort. I wouldn't be surprised if many y11s are feeling totally overwhelmed by the amount of work, plus feeling that all mocks are important etc etc.

I think your job is almost to remove pressure. To say there are different routes and possibilities. To say she should do what she can but not overdo it. Build in breaks. Discuss expectations.

DD was expected to pass 8 GCSEs. At the rate we are going I'll be pleased if she sits any at all.

ps. On the Secondary page there is a y11 support thread you might find helpful.

Hi, was just coming back to suggest the y11 thread.
Hello TeenPlusTwenties, hope your dd is as well as can be expected, had quite a time with our dd recently.
It's all too much for a lot of them

Thank you all so far, I will check out the Y11 thread. I’ve told her how much I regret flunking my GCSEs, as it means I’ve been dumped in a career that I feel I can’t get out of.

I had a lovely childhood and my parents were wonderful but I wish they’d paid more attention to my schooling and noticed my struggles. I think that’s why I’m so desperate to push her into revision, but yes I agree, she’s got to realise the importance herself, and I guess make her own mistakes.
She’s definitely feeling overwhelmed by the thought of the exams with 6 months less teaching, and also angry that her school decided to assess their progress 3 weeks into Y11!

Thinking positively:
They needed to assess progress in order to inform their ongoing teaching.
They didn't miss 6 months teaching, more like 4, plus some subjects have had expectations adjusted.
Grade boundaries will be lower or at least more stretched this year, as so many pupils/schools struggled. She doesn't necessarily need to be the standard she would have been any other year.

Being realistic, what grades does she need for midwifery? Is it a post A levels thing, if so what grades does she need for the A levels she needs?

It is still a long way to June, some level of pacing, breaks, mini peaks is needed. Maybe find a calm time to ask her how she wants to play things?

On the positive side, she’s aiming for midwifery, not medicine so there is room for manoeuvre!

A friend’s daughter underperformed significantly at GCSE. I think she got 5 or maybe 6 passes but not high enough to do the A Levels she wanted to do. She was aiming for midwifery so she did an extended Health and Social Care diploma instead. She got the very highest grade and has had no problem securing a place on a midwifery course. Now obviously, this required hard work throughout sixth form - but they’ve usually matured a bit by then. Also the BTEC type diplomas have fewer exams and more assessed work.

So possibly you could leave her to it and whilst she may well be disappointed with her results she’ll still hopefully be able to Pursue her intended career.

Our DD year 11 is exhausted and very stressed with her school work. She doesn’t have a career path in mind but really fell out with us and her schoolwork a few weeks into lockdown. I/we have tried encouraging and motivational talks until I/we am blue in the face the only outcome has been anger, shouting and tears.
We are now just hoping DD is motivated and is actually working on her schoolwork/revision and not just messing about in her bedroom. At the end of the day she is doing it for herself and whilst we want her to do as well as she could with her GCSE’s she is very well aware of this but its up to her whether she wants to work or mess about.

Same sort of issue here with y11 daughter, only she doesn't have a clear career plan. We try to encourage but avoid putting on too much pressure but some days any mention of school work is seen as pressure or criticism. She apparently works hard when at school which is something.

She also suffers from anxiety and has occasionally refused to go to school (usually claiming to be ill). We've twice more or less marched her there since September - once there her anxiety usually subsides.

It's so frustrating to see her wasting time. She did have two tutors also - one for science which was going well until lockdown. We've had to give that up as she simply refused to engage several times (remotely) but she is ok with the other, though we still get complaints.

I feel we can't just leaving it as we worry she will do nothing and give up, but also we can't do it for her and it is her life / choice. Also the rows stress me out. So hard but the thought of her failing all or most GCSEs is so depressing. ( We have an older dd who did just that and at nearly 20 hasn't got any direction despite two college courses.)

It is tricky @Sundance2741 also don’t want DD to fail. But equally our relationship with DD has severely broken down and our family life been negatively affected l since lockdown. I have been upset and in tears many times about DD’s attitude towards school work and hatred towards me as she just doesn’t seem to care and is extremely resentful about us contacting her school or trying to offer her any help, support or us showing an interest in any area of her life especially her school work. For my own sanity I have had to bow out and just hope for the best.