Does everyone let their 12yo's out on their own?

[Helenj1977]

Is it just me who doesn't?

Dd has been to a friends yesterday and they walked to the park at 6.30 so it was dark. I was fuming with dd because she knows she's not allowed.

Am I being too over protective?

Dd2 12.5 goes out and about by herself all over the place. I would be fine with her going out in the dark at 6.30 as long as she wasn’t alone. I’d want her back by about 8 though.

We live in quite a safe area. I think how relaxed you can be depends on where you live.

Yanbu about not wanting her wandering around in the dark. However, it doesn't sound like you let her go anywhere on her own, even in daylight (apart from the bus stop!). For a 12yo (assuming no SEN), I think that's much too restrictive. They need to start gradually building up their independence over time.

You're not the only one.

I had a lot of freedom as a young person, which exposed me to unnecessary upset when difficult things happened around/to/near me.

None of mine were on a park after dark at any age during school, they started going on the bus to local city centre with friends around year 9, before that they'd get dropped somewhere for something.

The problem with parks is not your child/their friends, but the random and unsupervised behaviour of other people. Maybe I experienced more than my fair share but I'd rather my kids skipped that.

Oh, and I grew up in a 'nice' part of a low-crime town - still many strange and scary things happened!

I let 12 yo out yes, she walks 35 mins to school and back every day, and she meets with friends. She has a phone as well. Also leave her at home alone sometimes if she doesn't feel like coming out with us.

Very much in agreement with @DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult - we have to look forwards at what our kids will need to be able to do in a few years' time and prepare them for that, rather than go 'They're too young', otherwise it gets to a point where they aren't too young but can't deal with, say, ordering something in a cafe on their own, or taking a new bus route, or finding their way somewhere nearby on their own and so on

I let 12 yo out yes, she walks 35 mins to school and back every day, and she meets with friends. She has a phone as well. Also leave her at home alone sometimes if she doesn't feel like coming out with us.

I do all this too. Very very different to being on the park.

My older children are very independent, they travelled happily around on buses etc once a bit older, to sports clubs and volunteering across town. There is zero evidence that being on the park unsupervised leads to greater sense once older!

My DD12 is out at the park often between 1 and 5pm at least one day during the weekend and most days during the summer holidays. She often goes to a local Starbucks with her friends. She's very sociable and I couldn't not let her go, she'd be quite miserable. She's never out after dark unless it's with the guides.

Mine go out, home by darkish with a bit of leeway.

What's the issue with them being out and about at 12 op?