I’m not sure whether to be concerned or not. I have an 17yr old DS and 19 yr DD. Both have told me separately that they have no sexual desire (towards either sex) and find the whole thought of sex “gross”. My DD has had a couple of boyfriends but says she froze when being kissed etc and found it an unpleasant experience.
My son has never had a gf/bf (although has lots of girls as close friends). We are a liberal and open family - being gay would not be an issue and they both know that. Although we don’t talk about it often, we can have open discussions about sex / sexuality and they both seem happy to discuss it with me.
I was a victim of SA as a child so I was always super vigilant about keeping them safe when they were little. They knew if anyone AT ALL (family, teacher, friend etc) touched them or told them to keep anything secret that they were to come to me immediately and they would never ever be in any trouble. Now they are older it’s become a kind of family ‘joke’ (wrong word I know) that mum was always on “Paedo patrol” when they were kids. So it’s not a taboo subject and they don’t APPEAR to have been bothered by it.
However, I’m now wondering if I’ve inadvertently traumatised them into thinking sex is a nasty, shameful thing? DH and I are very close and they have been bought up in a safe, secure family environment- but have my attempts to keep them safe whilst they were small backfired?
Everyone else I know who have teens the same age seem to be trying to curtail their kids raging hormones!
Should I be worried? Should I try to help or just leave it? I’m very aware that mum interfering in something like this at their ages would be extremely mortifying for them!
Just to add, I don’t mind one jot if they both genuinely ARE asexual but I’m more concerned that it’s quite rare and for two siblings to both declare it seems really odd. Any thoughts welcome!