Teenagers fashion

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My dd 14 has recently said she wants to change her dress style - she calls herself alternative. I’m ok with her wanting to change but she is talking about ‘dark academia’ , I had to Google it to find out what is was , anyway she bought a few things and put them on and I really didn’t like them on her , she just doesn’t suit it at all ! If I say I’m
Not keen she thinks it’s because I don’t like her being alternative, how do I tell her without hurting her feelings too much that it’s just not nice?
She looks about 20 and like she’s going out to work in an office ! Am
I over reacting ? I really want her to wear what she’s happy in but I don’t want people making fun or her being bullied .

I don't think that your opinion on whether it suits her or not is relevant here. Let her evolve her own style. We all have fashion faux Pas, it's fine. Obviously, if she was trotting out the door in nipple tassles, you would need to say something, but this, I'd just let her be.

How do you think it would look on a mid 30s overweight woman? Asking for a friend...

@Notverybright

How do you think it would look on a mid 30s overweight woman? Asking for a friend...

A tweed skirt and jacket or trench coat can't really go wrong can it?

My DD likes this style and has a couple of things. She told me it’s from the film “Clueless”. I like it.

Yes I think I’m looking to much into it and worrying, she really got into Harry Potter over lockdown and I think it’s maybe a bit to do with that too, I’ve never watched it but apparently it’s all about education etc and that’s where the look comes from. Thanks everyone for the feedback, I really need to stop worrying as much

My dd (17) dresses like Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl, all tweedy minis, lavish hair accessories and prim pussy-bow blouses in pastel colours

Most of her peers are in jeans and hoodies but nobody bullies her about her style and she gets lots of compliments so I wouldn't worry

Just to add - a lot of this style of clothes (and dd's similar but slightly different style) is very sustainable

Dd gets most of her clothes from Depop, Etsy or charity shops, plus she did GCSE textiles so she makes some of her own stuff too

Great for the environment, thumbs up from me

I love it. Most of the teens here wear jogging bottoms and cropped vests or walk around clutching skateboards that they can’t ride. I would be happy if my dd wanted to dress this way, could get expensive though!

I'd just be glad she wasn't wearing clothes inappropriate for the weather or which had her arse cheeks hanging out (male or female, arse cheeks are for indoors).

Let her do it. She'll either love it or grow out of it. Either is fine. At her age, she wants to experiment, and I imagine it's the first major fashion choice she's made, as we usually let our parents just buy for us until we're teens, don't we?

She just wants to stretch her fashion independence. Let her do it. It's unlikely she will be bullied for it, as there is a lot of tolerance for different fashion styles these days.

Thanks again everyone , I guess I’ve just had a hard few weeks lately , she came out as bi to me a few weeks ago and everything just seems to have changed since, her attitude to me and DH is really bad , I am totally supportive of her being Bi
And she knows this , I just think so much as changed over the last few weeks so quickly, she has different friends , new style, bad attitude , I guess that’s the teenage years and I’m just finding it all overwhelming, doesn’t help that I’m in early menopause and have bad anxiety! Just to be clear I’ve nothing against her being Bi , we are totally supportive, it’s just everything else !

Isn't this the point of being a teenager- messing about with clothing styles?

My DD is 14 and suddenly become much more interested in fashion and tells me all the different looks that are fashionable at the moment. As far as I can see DDs look reminds me of 80s girl next door type of look,(I can imagine her being in a just 17 magazine circa 1989!) her friend is more emo/goth style. I dont especially like all the items she buys but I'm glad that she has found a style she likes, and even better, she prefers to buy second hand!! I remember my mum hated my style choices as a teen, and they were different from most of my friends, but I was never bullied about it.

I thought it was preppy 90s style, don't think she will look out of place. If anything I think it's good to stand out, teens all look the same these days.

Honestly, she's 14...so long as she's engaging in her schoolwork, staying safe and not getting into any real trouble just let her get on with expressing herself.

You won't make yourself any less anxious over the next couple of years otherwise...pick your battles.

Mone wears over sized sports jumpers and I hate how scruffy she looks but I never say anything.

All the sixth form girls at Dd's school seem to dress exactly like that for school, it's non uniform at that age but with a dress code. They all look identical . My Dd (13) likes it a lot (but not enough to make herself uncomfortable- she lives in joggers and hoodies outside school.)

I think it's a good look and I love teenagers who are individuals. I have one who's full on Goth (19) and one who is butch 90s lesbian. They both stand out from the herd and have the nerve to be individuals. That trait will serve your DD very well in life.

All teenage girls at the moment want to be alt-girls. So ironic that they are all professing to be alternative yet all still look exactly the same. Apparently TikTok has been split down the middle between “Straight TikTok” with your Charli D'Amelio‘s and the Hype House lot who are now all universally hated and “Alt TikTok” which is for all the cool kids. I hate that I know this!

Thanks again everyone, going to let her just go with it, don’t want her holding it against me! I will try and advise her a little bit to try and make it suit her.
I definitely think she has seen a lot on tiktok , and also her friends all want to be alt and all have labels on themselves (bi, trans, non binary etc). Not sure if this a phase but I’m supporting her 100 percent , it’s just all new to me!
She seems happy enough (most of the time) so if she’s happy I am , just wish I could sort out her attitude to me and DH !

Leave her alone. Let her decide for herself. If you make it obvious you don’t like it, you can guarantee she will wear it more. She sounds pretty cool imo.