Condoms slide at school for 13 tops

[tenlittlecygnets]

Ds is Year 9. Today in form time, the teacher showed them a slide from a company that promoted condoms for 13yos to 15yos.

I'm a bit shocked tbh.

Surely not at 13???!

They discussed abusive relationships in PHSE the previous day...

What would you think?

Dd in Y9 tells me that they'll be putting a condom on a banana this year. It's hypothetical for her but it won't hurt her to know.

@tenlittlecygnets they are following the new RSE part of the national curriculum

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/908013/RelationshipssEducationRelationshipssandSexxEducationRSEanddHealth_Education.pdf

And what's wrong with 13-15 year olds knowing about abusive relationships? Don't you want your child to know how to protect themselves?

@Kaiserin

I have no problem with sex education at school for pubescent kids, but a company promoting condoms for 13 to 15 year old is essentially trying to monetise statutory rape, no?

If kids are going to do it, at least they will know to protect themselves from STI's and pregnancy. Or, should they not bother?

Christ you’re a little behind on the times OP

We have been teaching consent/Abusive relationships/no means bloody no in schools for years now - And I’m fairly sure we were shown the condoms (and application) from year 7 onwards when I was at school, Are you honestly suggesting you didn’t know ANYONE in school who was having or who felt pressured in to having underage sex? Don’t you want your DC informed???

Yes people have sex at 13... Not really a shocking thing surely ?

Not a bad thing to promote safe sex to those that are near the age where they are ..

Thanks, @loutypips - useful doc. I will take a look.

Honestly, I was just surprised by the 'abusive relationship' PSHE lesson then condoms the next day, with the school not giving us any idea of what the curriculum was for the year.

16yo dd was in an abusive relationship - we had to contact the police - so I am very aware of what can be involved. But a 16yo girl is very different from a 13yo boy.

Of course I want ds to know about contraception options - and we have already talked about these at home - but he's 13. Not done puberty yet. Not - in my mind - old enough.

Thank you to posters who responded politely and thoughtfully. The rest of you, you might like to look at your posts and consider whether you'd say the same to a friend, or an acquaintance. 🙄

but a company promoting condoms for 13 to 15 year old is essentially trying to monetise statutory rape, no?

1. It won't be a company, it will be the local sexual health team who commonly have free condoms available and make that known to teens.

1. The goal is to get the information to kids before they need it and before misinformation is too embedded. No-one wants 13 YOs (or sadly much younger) but it happens. Teachers are just doing what they can to fill the hole left by some parents.

1. The UK doesn't have statutory rape. It's sexual activity with a child if one party is over 16 or under 13. Consentual sexual relationships between 13-16 YOs are essentially legal, in that they are not prosecuted.

Common in most schools OP. Form time tends to back up PSHE and us tutors are sent things to share with our classes. There will be someone in form with your DS who will be sexually actively in one way or another.

As for abusive relationships it really needs to be taught that it is not acceptable - some of these kids will be living it at home and need to know that's not the norm

Not old enough in your mind, however there will be kids of the same age already having sex.

The abusive relationship education should be taught from a young age, starting of course with friendships, family and moving on to relationships. Hopefully, this will prevent some others going through what your dd has experienced.

Unfortunately OP, not all children have parents who are able to, or want to talk to their children about these things. Some, maybe like you, don't think their children are old enough - when really they are. Some, have parents that just don't give a shit about what their children are doing - this education will benefit those especially.

My dd is ten. She knows what a condom is.

One of my DD's friends started having sex when she was 13 years old (yr 8 or 9), with a boy in the same year group. I was only told about it many years later (rightly so, it's none of my business to be sure). I hope for both their sake that they knew about safe sex and used a condom.

13 is not too young for some kids, and I would rather they were taught and encouraged to be safe and consensual.

I pictured a slide at the school playground made out of condoms.

Aaaaah a slide as in a projector slide? Not a teeny tiny plastic slide to launch the little condoms down.

i'm sure all the students were staring at the whiteboard in preparation for the days lesson. maybe in dead silence to boot.

I am not sure what you are upset about. Surely it can’t be that your 13 year old has been taught about condoms? If you live in the UK and your child has access to screens he is probably watching porn. As for relationship lessons I think it is brilliant that we are educating our children about abusive relationships. Hopefully it will mean there will be less abuse in relationships. If you have experience of this via your DD I would have thought this would be something you would support.

@BrummyMum1

Aaaaah a slide as in a projector slide? Not a teeny tiny plastic slide to launch the little condoms down.

LOL

@doodleygirl

I am not sure what you are upset about. Surely it can’t be that your 13 year old has been taught about condoms? If you live in the UK and your child has access to screens he is probably watching porn. As for relationship lessons I think it is brilliant that we are educating our children about abusive relationships. Hopefully it will mean there will be less abuse in relationships. If you have experience of this via your DD I would have thought this would be something you would support.

I was going to write exactly this, almost word for word. Saved me five minutes, thank you!

Both my dc's have been reminded about condoms. I was sexually active at 15 and had no sex ed. I'm glad that its part of the curriculum now, but I will always remind my kids of condoms and the results of not using them.
When I was at high school, back in the 80's, when sex ed was unheard of, 3 girls had kids when they were 13.

@tenlittlecygnets

Can you tell us what you meant by "advertising" please?

Three of ds' classmates had babies aged 15. Yes, it was illegal, yes, it was almost certainly a bad idea. Wouldn't it have been better if those lads had worn condoms that fitted them?

And if your ds told you that the teacher just showed them an advert with no context, then I would respectfully suggest to your ds that maybe he needs to pay better attention in class.

@tenlittlecygnets

Thanks, *@loutypips* - useful doc. I will take a look.

Honestly, I was just surprised by the 'abusive relationship' PSHE lesson then condoms the next day, with the school not giving us any idea of what the curriculum was for the year.

16yo dd was in an abusive relationship - we had to contact the police - so I am very aware of what can be involved. But a 16yo girl is very different from a 13yo boy.

Of course I want ds to know about contraception options - and we have already talked about these at home - but he's 13. Not done puberty yet. Not - in my mind - old enough.

Thank you to posters who responded politely and thoughtfully. The rest of you, you might like to look at your posts and consider whether you'd say the same to a friend, or an acquaintance. 🙄

So you think 13yo boys can't be in abusive relationships. That's naive.

And ideally no, 13yos would not be having sex. But some are. Best they do it safely and are educated around all the issues.

I have said this before and will say it again: All the evidence world wide shows that solid, comprehensive, unflinching and early sex education delays first intercourse and reduces teenage pregnancies. As a parent, that is really all you need to know.

And yes, I would say the same to a friend. In fact I'd be a lot harsher - I'd be telling them to pull their head out of their arse and live in the real world.

I think it’s good that they teach this early on. Of course one of us want to think that our 13/14 year olds will be having sex but sadly some of them will be. I first had sex at 14 as did several of my friends. We had sex education at 13 and it was quite detailed.

It sounds like the school is delivering PSHE and making sure teenagers know about contraception. They can access sexual health services at 13 too OP. It's about ensuring that teens are in a position to make as informed decisions as possible and they know how to protect themselves.

13 year olds with no interest in exploring sexual relationships will not be encouraged to do it because a teacher mentioned contraception.
13 year olds who are either sexually active or considering it might make better and safer choices if they have the right information.

I think OP that your 13yo boy may differ from some other 13yo boys. Some of them are a long way through puberty and in some cases it's complete. They definitely need to know this at 13.

It took me a while to realise this wasn't a slide in the playground

So what, just a big old advert projected onto the whiteboard saying "Durex, suitable for 13-15 year old!" When they weren't talking about reproduction or relationships in any way shape or form? Because that's what I think you're saying but I'm struggling to believe you.

I learned putting a condom on a banana in school at this age. Remember that some kids are sexually active at 12 or 13 so its important to be educated.