My only child, a rapidly nearing 17 year old daughter started puberty early at aged 8. First signs of worrying behaviour & what I would describe to be a defiant disorder was at primary school. I received a phone call from the headteacher asking me to go in & see her immediately. She said my daughter had made an allegation of abuse. I was greeted at the school by a child protection officer, a social worker & a police officer along with the headteacher of the school. They sat me down & asked about a situation that had transpired at home the previous day which had led to my daughter having bruises on her leg. There had been a minor incident at home which had resulted in my husband smacking my daughter for her bad behaviour & back chatting. My daughter had moved when my husband was aiming for her butt cheek and he had managed to catch her leg instead which resulted in a bruise. After extensive questions they were all happy that the situation had been unnecessarily escalated but they would follow up the next week by the social worker coming to our home as a matter of procedure. Everything was cleared quickly & no further action taken but the school explained to me that my daughter had been repeatedly told of the consequences if she wanted to pursue her allegations further before anyone had been notified.
Some years later when my daughter was at secondary school I gave her a mobile phone & naively didn't set any restrictions or ask for the phone back at night.. She had free run of the phone day & night. I was called into the school one afternoon to a report that my daughter had sent an adult natured video of herself to a boy from another school & it was becoming common knowledge within that school so all hell was breaking loose to try & stop the spread of the images. I was completely shocked & mortified but so was she & she promised never to make another mistake like it & she had learnt how stupid & dangerous it was. I took the phone away for a number of weeks. Eventually giving the phone back she seemed to be getting on better. Bad attitude, moody but normal teenage stuff. A couple of instances where she has gotten physical with me & I've called the police as genuinely scared of losing my temper & hurting her she has a vile tongue & says evil things & i'm scared I will retaliate with anger as have no support at home with husband who works away Mon-Sat. She jumps out of window to leave the house. She's given me black eyes & I've called the police because I need help, don't know what to do to deal with her outbursts sometimes. My mental health is poor so its tough for me to deal with her crazy emotions. She goes out to friends houses & does pills then comes home & tells me & expects me to let her stay at her friends houses who I don't know! She's awake all night & sleeps all day, refused to go to school for months then diagnosed with depression before lockdown. February took 40 paracetamol ends up in a&e then EWMHS finally get involved, few good therapy sessions where they keep me involved like we need some kind of mediation. Lockdown happens then no exams to sit & no pressure to sleep or routine to get up for so her routine is totally opposite of mine now I'm back to work. She wakes me up at night coming in my room for hair straighteners etc. Then just as I'm going to sleep at 11pm asks if some random boy can come round I'm asleep no boy can come round but she does it anyway then a couple of days later she tells me she brought him up to her bedroom whilst I was sleeping next door & has sex with him... earlier the same day having another boy round & having sex with him too! Only tells me because she needs morning after pill!!! I have zero trust for her & life at home is so bad. Came to a massive head last week where her friend was staying here with her & they put pillows in the bed disguised as them & they were dressed up to go out at midnight obvs waiting for us to go to sleep & next day we ask her to leave as she's rude & throwing disgusting insults at me & she comes home with the police who ask me to take her back & I refuse so she goes to stay at her friends & social services now involved as I think something more than bad behaviour going on here. Why does every outisde agency blame parents for this stuff? I'm a good mum to my only child only guilty of running around after her & worrying too much about her but all I ask is for a clean & tidy house how I leave it & she has zero respect for my rules. She drinks al cans of coke even though I hide it, she raids the house looking for it like a drug addict looking for heroin leaving the house looking like its been burgled. I always wanted her to be safe from the awful unsafe, scary world we live in & ive overprotected her & made her hate me. I have no friends as cut everyone out because I constantly feel don & need to off load my problems & nobody can deal with it because its so frequent. My daughter tells me when my friends kids are doing drugs & I tell my friends because im in difficult position & friends don't want to believe it & think my daughter lies even though I see it for myself on social media! My life is shit. Hubby away all week, daughter now staying at my mums & doesn't want me to go there everyday so now alone again & scared that Im the cause of all her issues because I was so messed up I tried too hard to protect her now she hates me for it... Why is life so hard? Now to top it all off with a massive cherry we're being threatened with another lockdown which will isolate me completely from seeing a single soul! Social services saw my daughter alone yesterday & meant to be contacting me but heard nothing.... what am I meant to do? My daughter didn't even get her GCSE results in to college on time so didn't start a course as all full & will not get a job as too scared for interviews etc I don't know what to do anymore...