15 year old son with pregnant 17 year old girlfriend

[reallyconfusedmum]

I have a 15 year old son who has a 17 year old girlfriend who has announced in last 2 weeks that she is 8 month pregnant. My son is not the father as they have only been together for 4 months.
The girlfriend kept the pregnancy hidden from everyone, only telling the birth father that she had had a miscarriage back in March.
While i understand that she was very scared to tell anyone. It has caused a enormous rift in our family causing loads of arguement where there doesn't need to be any.
I have tried speaking to my son who insists that they are staying together.
I have spoken to the welfare team at my sons school who have advised i meet with the girlfriends mum. Which i have been trying to do but she has not responded to me.
I feel that she has manipulated him and really got into his head.
I really dont know where to go or what to do from here as i feel he is to young to take on this responsibility and should be concentrating on his G C S E's.
Sorry for the long post but i am at my wits end it is making me ill and not able to sleep eat or think about anything else.
Thank you for reading

I would imagine their relationship will run its course very quickly once the baby comes along. The more you try to tell him he can't see her, the more he will want to. Maybe try a bit of reverse psychology and talk to him about babies and how lovely it is having a little one around.

Oh God OP what a mess. A credit to you that he is standing by her but of course as 15 he can have no idea what that means for his future. So hard though as any pressure from you will just force them closer together.

Poor girl, she must have been scared. I'd keep trying with the mum, I'm sure she's had a lot to take in the last few weeks so give her time.

Does your son know the father? Is he going to be on the scene at all?

I'll give it 6 weeks once the baby has arrived.

The more you try and talk him out of this, the more he will dig his heels in.

I would be having very strong words with him about contraception and how women can get pregnant pretty much straight away after giving birth, but honestly, other than that, I'd let things play out.

Like I said, I can't see this lasting more than a couple of months at all.

I'd go with telling him how proud you are of him that he didn't just choose to walk, and that you thinks it's great how he wants to support his girlfriend. Maybe suggest that he'll need to be prepared to have a strict study schedule this year if he wants to be able to make time to see her and the baby, and that you'll happily help him plan that if he needs it.

Forget the mum, she's probably trying to focus on her daughter and may not want to know/be anxious to hear what the new boyfriends mum has to say about it.

The likelihood is that it won't work out. If he felt you has his back in the meantime he's much more likely to listen to you laying down the law about smaller details like hoe much time he needs to spend studying etc.

And on the crazy off chance that they stay together for a long time, you don't want to be the one who placed yourself as the enemy to their relationship from the start. That's hard to claw your way back from.

Thank you for responding I know the father and he is the same his head is all over the place. He found out via a Facebook post. First he thought there was no baby now there is i really feel for him. But he is prepared to step up and be a dad.
I understand that she was really scared. I have been there.

Just be there for your son.

Not quite the same as the son was the babies Dad but his eldest was born just after his 16th (she was older), they have 5 DC, been foster parents, he has a degree and a very well paid job.

From your previous posts you need to keep being a loving supportive parent abs being understanding and respectful of his choices.

Very hard when the gf Mum is the way she is.

Even if school work and exams are a disaster there are resits and taking college courses when older.

Tough times for you all tbh

Is no one going to mention he’s under age ?

He’s not the father northern parent

Op, your son sounds very sweet. You should be proud that you've raised a decent man. He is supporting a vulnerable girl during her hour of need. I take my hat off to him.

Try not to feel negatively towards the girl. She's only young. The situation isn't ideal, and it sounds like she could use a friend right now.

I have tried speaking to my son who insists that they are staying together

It will fizzle out pretty damn quickly as soon as that baby comes along and his freedom and sleep are compromised. He’ll run a mile. Just got to make sure he doesn’t knock her up in the meantime!

@Northernparent68

Is no one going to mention he’s under age ?

I wondered that.