13 year old daughter self harms won’t talk to me

10 replies

Pace141 · 11/10/2020 08:42

My daughter has confided in friends and a teacher at school that she feels sad and doesn’t know why, she has begun self harming. She won’t talk to me , she shuts me down every time I broach the subject. School have been amazing and hopefully she will open up to the pastoral teacher
But what can I do? I’ve told her I am here for her when she wants to talk to me but she just ignores me. She grunts and me and speaks rudely
I just don’t know what to do to help her

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JamminDoughnuts · 11/10/2020 08:45

does the school run any parenting classes?

i would ask the school for help if not with classes then a counselor for your DD

JamminDoughnuts · 11/10/2020 08:46

i am sure she will talk to you in the end op, it might take some time,
just be there for her when she needs you

Original poster

Pace141 · 11/10/2020 09:20

No they don’t run parenting classes unfortunately
I would definitely be up for going.
The school pastoral teacher is going to speak with the school nurse as they can refer her for counselling but it’s such a huge waiting list.

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Original poster

Pace141 · 11/10/2020 09:23

Thank you
I do hope so
She is such a private person, won’t talk about periods or feelings etc... I have a 15 yr old son and he is really open with me. I’ve always been open and told them both that they can tell me anything and I will always do my best to help them. I just don’t understand why she won’t speak to me .
Not just about why she’s so sad but in general I just get grunted at 😟

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Croeso78 · 12/10/2020 10:14

I am going through a similar situation. I thought we were close, but she cant talk about this with me, and asks me to leave the room when with Dr or therapist. Go to your GP, and see if she can be referred to CAMHS, although the waiting list at the moment is very bad in my area, but might be better at yours.

Original poster

Pace141 · 12/10/2020 11:17

Thanks for your message Croeso78
I know I’m not alone when it comes to my situation as there are so many parents/children going through similar but it hurts so much when my child won’t speak to me.
I spoke to her pastoral school teacher who in turn will speak to the school nurses who can then refer her to CAMHS. Like your area , there’s a massive waiting list!
Her pastoral teacher is going to try and speak and listen to her
I’m hoping she opens up to her while we wait for the referral
I hope your daughter gets the help she needs

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Ohalrightthen · 12/10/2020 21:37

If you can possibly afford it, send her to a private therapist.

Also, sit down with her and talk to her about proper wound care. You're not going to be able to stop her cutting, not if she really wants to do it, but you can minimise the damage she does. I have appalling scars and spent miserable time in hospital due to infected, self inflicted wounds i had no idea how to take care of.

Original poster

Pace141 · 12/10/2020 23:20

Unfortunately I’m not in a position to pay private
I have tried to speak with her about taking care or her cuts and given her a first aid box with all the essentials.
I’m sorry you had to go through that

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JamminDoughnuts · 13/10/2020 07:12

My dd had rubber bands on her wrists to stop her, she had counselling through the school.
she did eventually, after a lot of time had passed, confide in me

CaCD · 16/10/2020 11:09

My 15 year old is self harming, i am at my whits end she says its her way of coping an nothing and nobody will stop her

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