Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DS only eating one meal a day

9 replies

RedskyAtnight · 08/10/2020 20:15

Since going back to school in September DS (16) has fallen into pattern of often not eating through the day until dinner time. He then eats a normal evening meal and generally a pudding (which might be fruit and yogurt or something more substantial like crumble and custard). Some days that's all he eats. Other days he might come foraging for food later at night (10pm onwards). Other days he might also have a bowl of cereal when he gets in from school. Very occasionally he'll get up early (say 5am) and go and eat some cereal or toast before going back to bed. He will sometimes have a milkshake or a snack at school or buy himself sweets on the way home, but that's probably less than half the time.

At weekends he tends to get up late. If someone else makes him lunch he'll eat lunch as well as dinner. Otherwise much the same pattern.

In response to questioning he says he is not eating because he's not hungry. And he often eats when food is put in front of him just because it's there. He tells me he's not bothered about his weight and to my eyes he is very skinny (but a lot of his friends are as well; I don't think he is unusually so).

He tells me that school (he's in the sixth form attached to his previous school) is "fine"; he seems to be making friends with some of the new people as well as keeping up with old friends, so no particular worries raised there. He is involved in some friendship drama, but that's been ongoing for months, so wouldn't see as a new source of stress.

I would suspect he's not eating as much as a boy his age should do, but it's hard to judge. But even if he is, this doesn't feel like a particular healthy way to eat.

Has anyone else experienced similar with their teens? Do I just leave him to it or should I actively start putting more food in front of him to see if he'll eat it (currently in our house everyone gets their own breakfast and lunch and we eat dinner together)?

OP posts:
happydazeandsunshines · 08/10/2020 22:06

Hi credit to you for your concern. Young people need a lot of calories (no food is a bad food for growing teens) and regular nourishment (ideally 3 square meals plus 3 snacks between) is medically recommended to help young people's physical and mental health. Boys can get eating disorders and hopefully this is not that but I'd prioritise regular family meals and a chat as they can develop simply through loss of weight alone - perhaps using pretext of it being a time to get together for a chat, and attending family time at the table as a condition of living at home, to try to take a bit of control and instigate structures eating. Whether he realises it or not sounds like he needs more nourishment. Bone and heart health depend on it, as eating enough now builds that. It will help mood and brain health for school too, and sorry to say this but if he struggles to participate that might be a red flag and nipping it in the bud is best way to stop anything developing. Eating disorders - and hopefully that's not the case here - thrive in secrecy so a wee bit of honest talking, concern and getting matters out in the open about eating enough cannot do any harm and hopefully will do some good. We all need sufficient fuel to be well and sounds like he needs a reminder and I would not be shy in expressing your feelings direct to him, out of concern for his well being. Good luck, and trust your instincts; he's lucky to have you notice this and be thinking about it.

Pikachubaby · 08/10/2020 22:18

My DS is 18, has no breakfast, does a bit of light snacking for lunch (too lazy to make a proper sandwich) then eats dinner happily, and a snack late at night

It stresses me out, so I give him lunch money for MCD or Dominos or similar (which he’ll eat) and I have also bought a thermos so he takes soup to college some days (leek and potato mainly) or a pasty.

I also buy calorie dense snacks that he likes, and feed him a fried breakfast at weekends Grin

Basically, I try and get enough calories into him

We’ve reached a kind of balance and he’s a good weight for his height, very slim but not unhealthily so.

I am probably doing all the wrong things, but he was a reflux baby and had stomach problems when younger, and having had to have him in hospital on a drip a few times has put the fear into me

I’d rather he eats junk food than no food. So I top up my healthy home cooking with (money for) fast food...

Punxsutawney · 08/10/2020 22:28

I would encourage him to eat and maybe put food in front of him for the next few weeks.

He may well not be particularly hungry but you don't want him to fall into bad habits. I would also keep an eye and just be mindful of anything else that might be worrying him.

My Ds is also sixteen with a recent autism diagnosis. He had eating issues for well over a year.

He's now being seen by Camhs for anxiety and depression and his eating has been flagged as a real concern.

Ds has dropped down to 49kg at 6ft so he below the first percentile.

Ds's issues are combination of things and not really a conventional eating disorder.

We have been told to get as much food (anything really!) into him as possible because of the risk to his health.

Good luck, hope he's eating more soon. 💐

midsummabreak · 08/10/2020 22:28

Maybe suggest you want him to learn to cook, unless he already has learned? Try giving him a regular day he is the chef. He can nominate a meal he would like to cook , even breakfast meals, or fajitas, burger and chips, or whatever. Have ingredients ready, or send him to buy them and tell him he is in charge of the cooking, and you can be the helper cook , anytime he wants a hand, otherwise he’s the boss of the kitchen.

Maybe he will give you ideas of some of the meals or foods he would like to try cooking or eat more of, while chatting before he cooks, or while hanging around kitchen if he would like back-up help ?

Pipandmum · 08/10/2020 22:33

My daughter (15) often only eats one meal a day. Very rarely breakfast, maybe lunch in school if she likes what's on offer and has time, then a normal dinner. At weekends dinner only. She says she is not hungry, and is normal weight. I'm not worried.

NewYearHere20 · 09/10/2020 15:53

I'm glad I stumbled across this thread. All through lockdown my dd (13) snacked most of the time rather than eating meals. now back at school they have changed the timetable to be flexible for covid - now she doesn't really have time to buy lunch and doesn't want to carry a heavy lunchbox so she goes without until tea time at home (a home-cooked meal which is try to pack with as much good stuff as I can get away with). She's very slim - but i was too at her age so I'm not too worried. Glad too hear she's not the only one skipping meals.

TrainspottingWelsh · 09/10/2020 21:52

When I was his age I often skipped meals purely because life was too short to waste preparing/ eating food unless I was ravenous. Both dc have also had similar phases, especially when it comes to school lunch hours. If he's a healthy weight, has a healthy attitude to food and no objections to eating pre prepared food that can be consumed on the go then I wouldn't worry.

If it helps I make sure there are always nutritious and/ or filling snacks available to grab & go, eg cooked chicken, pork pies, cereal bars etc, rather than just sugary crap.

Notso · 09/10/2020 22:16

I remember rarely feeling hungry at that age. I'd go to work on a tea with three sugars and a cigarette Hmm and not eat anything until I got home.
My 16 year old has gone from eating like a horse to skipping lunch. I suspect he's really slowed down/stopped growing (he's 6 foot 5!) so doesn't need as many calories.

mineofuselessinformation · 09/10/2020 22:32

There's two things here:
Is he losing weight? If not, maybe for now just keep an eye on it.
Is he happy at school? (Despite what he's telling you.)
I'd email the head of sixth form and ask for an idea of how he's settling in and coping with the work. That might guide you.
I'd also sit him down and tell him you're worrying and why.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread