My teen/grounding - what would you do - advice please!?

[jojo38]

Hi again.
Just a quickie... my ds 14 has been grounded for his irresponsible behaviour a few weeks ago with a bottle of vodka. I am gradually giving back some privelages but sparsely.
It is now half term. He wants to go to a main shopping centre with his friends - tomorrow. He has no money, as I have not been letting him have any. He is playing in a band and has a gig on saturday night. I have allowed that.
I have told him he cannot go out tomorrow but he is so upset about it. I feel dreadful.

What would you do?

I think that you should stick to your guns for tomorrow so he knows you really mean business but ease up totally on the punishment soon. Has he been grounded/lost privileges for a set period of time? I would have thought 3 weeks or so was long enough at 14, even though I know you were really worried about him that night. I do think you need to let him feel that he's forgiven and trusted again quite soon. He made a mistake but he's still a good lad and he needs to know that you know that, IME.

(But that's just my opinion as a non-teenager owning person so feel free to ignore!)

Thanks scrummy
I feel awful. I have had a really good think about it. I have stuck to my guns. He's not happy but I didn't expect him to be.
He is a good lad... at least I hope he is.
There is no definite period, just when I'm ready.. and after what happened, I am just not quite ready yet.
Thanks again.

good for you a sharp shock of finishing his grounding is better then thinking every one will always let him get away with things,