DD relationship with DH

[Nightowl45]

DD16 absolutely adores her dad and has always wanted to be like him. She’s smart like him, likes the same subjects as he does (maths, physics, chemistry) and even wants to go to the same university as he did. They were always close but now DH doesn’t seem that interested and it’s upsetting her. Whenever he’s tinkering in the garage he invites DS14 but not her. When he’s away and FaceTimes/rings us he spends most of the time talking to DS or me but not her. On the occasions that she rings him for help with some work he never seems interested like he used to. I understand that he wants to spend some “boys time” with our DS but DD needs her dad too. Whenever he goes off with DS she usually sits with me and watches doctor who repeats whilst I iron but she looks bored out of her mind and upset. How do I make her feel better? We get on quite well but don’t really have that much in common, which is why we usually watch tv/films together. Do I approach the subject with DH? Thanks

Of course you should talk to him. Find out what he's thinking, why the change and let him know how it's affecting your daughter.

Whether on purpose or not he needs to know he's fucking up,hurting your daughter and damaging their relationship.

Ask him why he is doing this as its upsetting your dd.
He may not realise what he is doing and is just doing stuff with Ds like he did with Dd at that age. He may think she won't be I terested anymore.
My DH was very similar and I pointed it out repeatedly and now they spend a lot of time together again, he didn't realise he was doing it and thought she wouldn't be interested in doing the stuff he was doing because she was also doing stuff with me.

You really need to talk to him- he's your husband, why wouldn't you?

All seems a bit strange that you say you get on "quite well" with her, and your DH isn't bothered about her. Doesn't anyone have stronger feelings than that towards her?

Just sit him down and talk about it. 16 is such a difficult age, without feeling as though your dad isn't interested in you! I understand how it might be easier for him to bond with your son, but he still needs to spend quality time with your daughter and be there for her, too, even if the activities she's interested in don't match as closely to his own interests as your son's do.

of course you have a proper talk with him about it.

DD relationship with DH

You need to flip it round to DH relationship with DD and tell him to be more mindful of splitting his time between his children.

Put your ironing away and do something with your dd if your dh and ds are out having time together doing something they enjoy.

Hope you are engaging with your ds during ironing too? It works both ways.

You need to talk to dh. It's a pity sje looks up to him so much and he doesn't acknowledge her the way he should.

Also surely you can think of something you have in common with your daughter? I don't know what you are into but what something like decorating her room. Shopping for bits and pieces for it.

Absolutely talk to DH! I would empathise that your DD is upset and needs him, loves spending time with him etc. It’s very sad if she’s sidelined because she can’t take part in ‘boys time’.

Does your DH think that girls shouldn’t do certain things or do you think he wouldn’t be willing to spend time with her?

Why are you doing the ironing instead of time that time to spend quality time with your daughter? You're upset with DH for not spending time with her, but it doesn't seem like you're spending time with her either.

Of course you should talk to him, but I also think you should use the time he spends with DS to spend with DD.