Oh crap - DS is turning 18 at the weekend...

[DanglySpider]

How on earth do I make this NOT a shit weekend? He's getting a provisional driving license and driving lessons this year, as he wanted a laptop last year instead, and I'm completely unprepared so far.

He doesn't want balloons, so that's out. Too old. Doesn't really like going out to eat - although i've offered. I've said maybe the pub but that's like shopping and just not very fun at the moment, especially as they'll be closing at 10. We have 2 younger DSs too (11 and 9, both autistic) so having friends to stay is out. Other than takeaway, control of the telly, cake (where the grandparents will want inviting), it's just going to be a normal weekend. Even money for lessons will be boring as we're still waiting for the license to turn up so i can't even book the lessons and give him a voucher.
Help! (I am aware this is my own fault for working too much being a crap mum.)

What does he want to do? Can he do something with friends during the day and then have a family birthday party in the evening. Take away sounds good to me!

I've asked him, and he hasn't said anything yet - I think he probably doesn't even know himself!

An alcoholic beverage, a few embarrassing baby photos, a few loving reminiscences of his babyhood, all his favourite foods and treats, let him know he is loved and you are proud of him. And get him to arrange something with his mates too. What about a gift like a watch or a pen? Cheaper ones but 18ish.

Champagne? (Fizzy Drinks for the younger ones) Favourite snacks, crisps, chocolate? Fancy family brunch at home (crispy Rolls and croissants bought part baked that you stick in the oven, lots of choices of yogurts and jams and cold meats and cheeses and fruit/ fruit salad, a range of fruit juices you might not normally buy, hot chocolate as well as tea and coffee, selection Pack of cereal or fancy muslei... Or cooked breakfast if he likes that).

Born in this day newspaper/ top 40 from the day he was born... Photo montage ... This is your life...

My teens like that kind of stuff but are possibly a bit odd

In the circumstances, I would do exactly what ScrapThatThen suggests and give him a nice gift now with a promise to do something more exciting at a future date.

My DS was 18 last year, he is autistic himself so didn't want a big party etc plus like you there are younger siblings. We went to stay at a hotel at a theme park for 1 night, arrived the previous evening and had a meal, stayed over, spent the whole of the next day at the park, then drove home. In our case he brought 1 friend but obviously that wouldn't be allowed now, but maybe you could do the rest? The teens went off on their own in the park whilst we had the younger sibs, obviously. They got priority passes for rides with the hotel stay.

One of those photo cakes from Asda with a baby photo

Banners

Balloons

Party poppers and silly hats.

Unlimited takeaway of his choosing

Could he also have gift cards to a shop he likes ?

He will grunt.

He will probably moan........but he will also secretly appreciate the effort.

I think at 18 a deferred celebration is okay too - I had two A Level exams in my 18th and another the day after, and more the following week, so had to wait a bit to celebrate "properly" even almost 30 years ago!

OP it is totally and utterly crap. I get it.

Is he in school/college? If so, could you arrange something for when he’s there? My DD’s birthday is next week and we are organising doughnuts for her friendship group at school. They can sit together and share them at lunch time at school but wouldn’t be allowed to do it in our home so we are working with what we can.

A friend’s DS turned 18 earlier during lockdown and she ordered an ice cream van to turn up at her house and then just let his friends know it was coming. They all came along and ordered what they wanted and she paid for it. They all stood socially distanced outside in the street and enjoyed their ice creams. Again - she worked within the guidelines and everyone stayed safe, but it didn’t pass by without any celebration.

You should be able to get a voucher from a driving school, he just won't be able to use it until he's got his license.

My dad is an instructor and he makes quite a lot of money from vouchers that are bought but never even cashed in because the 17yo chooses not to get their license yet, and they have a 12 month expiration on them (to avoid someone buying lessons at £10 an hour in 2002 then cashing them in 20 years later!)

So I'd get in touch with an instructor. Or if you really can't do that for whatever reason, print some vouchers off yourself?

For my stepson's birthday this year he got his provisional, we went to see his grandparents, got a takeaway which he chose, and he chose a film. It was a simple but lovely day. I think the small things mean more at the moment, and at 18 he will absolutely understand that things can't be any bigger with the way things are.

Champagne with kombucha for the younger siblings.

Thanks everyone - I"ll share this with DH and we'll come up with something!

Do you live near any of the big, exciting activity centre type places. Snow domes, skydiving centres, the Wave near Bristol, aerial runway, race car simulators, dry ski etc. They just might have a spare slot this weekend .

Definitely buy a bottle of fizz (perhaps cava or asti rather than champagne as it is a bit sweeter so he might prefer it) chill it and get him to pop the cork.

I would go to the pub too, it isn't the same but having a drink in the pub is a right of passage moment.

I'ld have a look what activities are running around you - my DS is 13 and ASD so younger and ASD but he's recently done and enjoyed gorging, alpaca walking, feeding penguins at zoo, rock climbing, also likes ziplining, go ape type things. Paintballing? Most outside activities are still running atm and weather predicted to be good here so would be tempted to go for something before we lockdown again / weather goes worse.

Hope you find something.