DS 15 with GF in hot tub

[CathTurnbull]

Last night my DS (almost 16) managed to sneak his GF (same age) onto our property and they went into the hut tub together.

I was awoken in the night to hear giggling - I peeked out of the bathroom window and saw he was with his GF in the hot tub both drinking a bottle of Smirnoff Ice.

I didn’t go barging downstairs as I didn’t want to embarrass either of them so went back to sleep with a view to speaking to him first thing.

He’s gone straight to his GF’s house from school and I didn’t see him this morning as he left early for school. I don’t think really know what to say to him though or how I really feel.

He’s a good lad, does well in school. She’s a nice girl, they’ve been together a while so I assume they’re intimate (he knows about safe sex obvs).
I feel a bit disappointed- but drinking a bottle of Smirnoff ice is hardly crime of the century is it? Suppose the biggest concern is whether the GF’s parents knew where she was?

What would you say?

I personally think it's fine .

Make the cctv joke. As long as he is doing well in school, has had the sex talk and doesn't make a habit of it 😅

Wish I had his social life lol

Ahh I remember the days of first love, being silly on school nights, getting semi drunk (semi pretending). Even a bit of skinny dipping. I'm twice their age but will never forget those days.

Leave them to it. Those late teenage years mean so much and go by so fast. Doesn't seem like much to get too worried about.

@OntheWaves40, an 8.30 bed is except early for a 15yr old to go to bed. Within the year he could legally nip to Scotland and get married. I totally agree they still need boundaries and guidance at 15 but you also need to be slowly giving them more freedom in preparation for adulthood. My 15yr old daughter has a lights out by 10.30 rule for weekdays and 11.30 at weekends. She is not allowed to sleep with her phone.

@CathTurnbull, I’d be cross at the alcohol in the tub. At their age it’s dangerous. I’d tell him it’s important that you know if he’s using the tub for safety reasons and that it should be a weekend thing. Being in the hot tub can make you hot and dehydrated and alcohol will make this worse. Stress the safety rather than the morals and you’ll come across as reasonable.

I wouldn’t mind any of this if it had been discussed with me and DH beforehand, it’s the sneaking about I don’t like.

Girlfriends/boyfriends very welcome here but ask, don’t sneak them in. The odd drink at 15/16 I don’t mind either but don’t help yourself. DD was a horror at that age for nicking our booze, drove me mad. Now she’s working full time I sometimes pinch her wine out the fridge

Oh and no shagging in the hot tub!

As you’re posting about this it’s not a regular occurance, I’d not get too worked up,

The question I’d have is you were in bed, was he at home and she came round? Or was he out with her and they both came back? A bottle of Smirnoff ice isn’t a big deal, no.

I had lenient parents growing up but who taught me vastly about real life. I was allowed the odd smirnoff ice, boyfriends were always welcome, friends were allowed with limited alcohol for sleepovers and parties (parents always consulted) I went to bed when I was tired but always before 11pm and never any issues getting up. As me and my peers grew up you could see the difference, the ones who werent allowed alcohol used to get plastered at any opportunity, had unprotected sex and 1 ended up pregnant as her parents barely acknowledged sex and never helped her with contraception. She suffered a very traumatic abortion.
Hopefully in a few years your son will be well rounded and not feel the need to do daft stuff because it wont that exciting!
Hes a teenage boy with what sounds a nice girlfriend. But yeh - maybe a couple of cans rather than glass!

@BigSandyBalls2015

Oh and no shagging in the hot tub!

And this!

We had a chat, no more hot tubbing in the middle of the night! He did say sorry. I did mention the cctv and he actually said ‘I know’ and winked at me 😳

Sounds like you have a good relationship with your Ds op. I'd say it's no big deal. There are much worse things he could be up to.

Hahaha fair play to him!! I think you've handled this really well, op. Give them an inch but let them know there is no option to take a mile.

I sometimes look forward to the teenage years with our kids. Although I know they won't be stealing any booze from us as I don't like drinking and dh liked drinking a bit too much and is now tee total. The poor mites!