Think DD is smoking weed

[Inastatus]

DD is just 16 and I know she’s tried a bit of weed before as she admitted it when I asked. I was quite calm at the time and we had a talk about drugs etc. As far as I was concerned, I thought it was a bit of a one off and I’ve never smelt anything suspicious on her.

However today when I was tidying her tip and hoovering under her bed I found her bum bag which had 3 clipper lighters decorated with marijuana print in it. I put it back where I found it and didn’t say anything when she came home from school with her friend. They’ve both gone out and I checked under her bed and the bum bag has gone.

I’m not sure how to approach her about this. Any advice?

Marijuana print lighters do not make you a weed smoker.

You would 100% be able to tell if she was stoned

Same issue here. Dd has a bf who smokes and sells it. She’s just turned 16 and thinks she rules the roost. Unfortunately her dad is her buddy and will do anything to be her pal and doesn’t bother about it so off she’s gone to live with him. She has only been about 3 full days at school in the last month since they went back (Scotland here)
I’m having to watch her destroy her life from afar whilst she’s being poisoned against me by her dad. It’s a horrible situation.
I can’t help you or offer advice sorry but I get your upset and disappointment. X

@wishthiswasreallife how can you tell? I looked at my daughters eyes and they were quite dilated but other than that behaviour was fine.

Look out for red eye and the munchies

Her eyes will be half closed and bright red,she will probably eat loads and she probably won't talk much,and more than likely sleep

You will actually smell it it's very strong

Why on earth did you not say anything? I would have sent the friend packing and dealt with the fact my DD was hiding lighters in her room.

Thanks for the replies. I haven’t seen any of the signs you’ve mentioned but why else would she be taking out lighters? I’m pretty sure she’s not smoking cigarettes because I’m a non- smoker and can smell smoke a mile away. I’ll talk to her later when her friend has gone.

@Blueskysunsout - sorry, that sounds v hard.

@roadsurvey - I know my DD and it would not have been a constructive conversation had I ordered her best friend out and confronted her immediately! I think I need to be a bit more measured than that and not go in all guns blazing.

- I know my DD and it would not have been a constructive conversation had I ordered her best friend out and confronted her immediately! I think I need to be a bit more measured than that and not go in all guns blazing.

Not all guns blazing? I didn't say that. It isn't something I would have sat on though.

@roadsurvey - but it would have felt like that to her if I’d told her friend to ‘get packing’ after I’d said she could come back here for tea etc. I thought it would be better to wait and deal with it later when friend has gone home.

Only if you made it like that. I said I would have 'sent her packing' it's just an expression, I would have told her to 'get packing'. There are plenty of calm and reasonable ways for plans to change and a friend to need to leave. I mean I see your point, but smoking weed isn't something I would consider to be minor so I would be taking immediate action on it.

I would NOT have told her

@Blueskysunsout

If your daughter has a dealer and weed smoker as a boyfriend please do the right thing

Report this to the police before she gets involved and it escalates in to cocaine or heroin

A lady I used to work this shopped her own son and it was the nudge he needed to turn his life around

My son smokes a bit and I can tell because he stinks of it when he does. No red eye, no munchies, no sleepiness. A bit smiler and a bit stupider than usual.

@roadsurvey - thanks I know what you mean and I don’t take it lightly either but I have no other evidence that she is smoking weed so wanted to take things a bit calmly/gently.

@BitGutted I have already. Because he’s just a small time 17 year old dealer eg they said only himself and a few friends possibly he sells to them they would gather intelligence and act when they had enough to be granted a search warrant. Not much help. She needs to wake up and see what she’s getting herself into. She was a polite well spoken girl who is now a mess and hanging about with chavs, no respect for authority. But I’m a control freak and a bully. I don’t understand apparently. 😔

@Blueskysunsout

That sounds awful I'm so sorry this is happening. Have you "talked to Frank"

www.talktofrank.com/get-help/worried-about-a-child

They can provide help and advice x

@Blueskysunsout do you know what the acronym CHAV means?

@hillbilly yes but I’ll correct it to our Scottish version “Ned”

I used to take lighters out as a teen and didn’t smoke weed or baccy. I’d burn incense everywhere I went though and in part it was that but also in case anyone ever asked if I had a light. I wanted to be helpful!
Also lighter prints don’t necessarily mean she smokes weed!

Did you ever get to the bottom of it OP? May be naive but if you can't smell it on her and she's not doused herself in body spray to try and cover it then it doesn't sound like it. Could she be looking after the lighters for her friend? Plus weed print is everywhere at the minute thanks to cbd products, even make-up products