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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Lies and attention seeking

7 replies

BorryMum · 08/09/2020 12:09

DS is 16 and recently gave me reason to be concerned for his online safety. When he was 13 I said he could have an Instagram account on the understanding that if I was ever worried about his safety I would check it. I have always respected his privacy but was so worried that I decided to check it to make sure he wasn’t being groomed online. Panic over as he wasn’t but I have opened a whole can of worms. He is constantly telling people lies, most of them pointless or over exaggerating fall outs with me and his dad
to get sympathy. Invented jobs, days out,
telling me one thing while doing another.

Lockdown has been hard and my DP has had some mental health and job issues that are very private. He has told everyone about them! One of his friends mums recently blanked me and I think it is because of lies he has told.

My issue is what do I do? I feel so sad that he feels he needs to do this and worried he will get caught out with the lies by his friends but how do I admit I know about them?

I promise I had very good reason to check up on him in the first place. I just want to help him break the habit of lying constantly before it catches up with him

OP posts:
Original poster
BorryMum · 08/09/2020 14:27

Bump, really need some help

OP posts:
SecretOfChange · 08/09/2020 16:13

If he's attention seeking then he needs more attention and you need to find a way to provide it. Obviously there's stuff troubling him that he can't articulate well.

If you've not discovered something criminal then I'd respect his privacy and not challenge his behaviour. Nothing good will come of it, you'll just destroy the trust between you.

ChickenwingChickenwing · 08/09/2020 16:23

You need to make sure he realises the possible backlash that will come form this. This is all part of teaching internet safety, they need to know that anything they put online will remain online. Even if they delete it there might still be a copy of it. It's great that you have awareness of grooming but there is so much more to teach.

I would link you to a site but tbh there is so match advice out there you would be best to start with google. It will throw up lots of help

1940s · 08/09/2020 16:52

Was there a reason you thought your 16 year old son was being groomed online that prompted you checking his Instagram?

Original poster
BorryMum · 08/09/2020 20:16

Thanks for the replies. There was a reason I thought this but to give details would be outing as I confided in a friend about the reason and they are a mumsnet user (as well as some family) I don’t want them to know about the lying and think badly of him. I will google for some help so thanks for the advice on it. Do I tell him I know he has been lying about things or just talk generally about it? I really didn’t take the decision to look
lightly and didn’t want to break his trust

OP posts:
Original poster
BorryMum · 08/09/2020 21:07

Ok I realise I have to give more info. I had a call from a safeguarding officer and had to check things out. 100% ok and just in the wrong place at the wrong time but I had to check things out .

OP posts:
Danni91 · 12/09/2020 14:19

Did you do anything about it OP?

Can you broach something in a - staceys mum said you told her this (insert fib). What made you say that?

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