Why does my Mum not tell me ANYTHING?

[Kyle19]

So my family have been going through a bit of a rough patch recently. My Aunt and Uncle have just split and that's all I really know. My mum has been on the phone constantly arguing with other people and reading out texts and reporting back to my stepdad (who isn't even a part of the family by blood) all the time and to be honest I'm fed up of hearing little bits of it but not the whole story, she's my aunt for fucks sake. Whenever I ask my mum what's gone on she'll just say "it doesn't concern you so stay out of it". Yet my 16 year old sister who lives on her own 20 miles away knows EVERYTHING, and says she's found out about all of it from mum who called her specially to tell her but even she'll refuse to tell me as it "isn't her place". Why does she do this?

@Kyle19

So my family have been going through a bit of a rough patch recently. My Aunt and Uncle have just split and that's all I really know. My mum has been on the phone constantly arguing with other people and reading out texts and reporting back to my stepdad (who isn't even a part of the family by blood) all the time and to be honest I'm fed up of hearing little bits of it but not the whole story, she's my aunt for fucks sake. Whenever I ask my mum what's gone on she'll just say "it doesn't concern you so stay out of it". Yet my 16 year old sister who lives on her own 20 miles away knows EVERYTHING, and says she's found out about all of it from mum who called her specially to tell her but even she'll refuse to tell me as it "isn't her place". Why does she do this?

I'm 18 by the way

Your mum sounds annoying. Then again, careful what you wish for. My mother told me every gruesome detail of why she was splitting up with my dad, and I really did not want to know that at 19. My dad never breathed a word or had a bad word to say about her until he died, which is preferable!!

@Tootletum

Your mum sounds annoying. Then again, careful what you wish for. My mother told me every gruesome detail of why she was splitting up with my dad, and I really did not want to know that at 19. My dad never breathed a word or had a bad word to say about her until he died, which is preferable!!

Thank you for the reply. I'm just fed up of being left in the dark all the time. I'm literally the only person who doesn't know anything and it feels like I'm just some kid who needs to be protected from the truth.

Your mum should tell you what is going on.
I’m a great believer in letting your children know what is happening in family life.
It is teaching them life lessons and takes away any anxiety as they are always aware something is going on and can make them very worried and anxious.
Talk to your mum you might even surprise her by offering good advice

@Gettingonwithlife

Your mum should tell you what is going on. I’m a great believer in letting your children know what is happening in family life. It is teaching them life lessons and takes away any anxiety as they are always aware something is going on and can make them very worried and anxious. Talk to your mum you might even surprise her by offering good advice

I've tried that and she just says I'm being nosey. I'm far from jealous but I was really quite offended when I found out my 16 year old sister (I am 18) knew everything as my mum had called her specially to tell her but my mum won't tell me even upon request

Do any other parents do this?

My mum was like this. I found out my parents were getting divorced when my friend mentioned it, apparently it was none of my business. It hurts and it sucks so you have my sympathy. Sadly I've not found a way of changing how she is :(

I feel like if she is going to keep it from you, that in a way is fair enough as maybe she shouldn't be gossiping about your aunt and uncles marriage breakdown, but she should not be putting you in the position of overhearing her conversation and reading out things etc. In your position I would try to stay out of this more. Avoid listening to this gossip and stay well clear. That's what most of it is. If she was supporting her sister that is different but your Aunt's life isn't an episode of Eastenders for people to chew over.

Are you sure your sister isn't just bullshitting you? Hence the 'not her place to say'...maybe she doesn't actually know.

It has absolutely NOTHING to do with you though. Why do you need to get all up in people's business? Your mother shouldn't be doing it either, and it's wrong that she's gossiping about it to your little sister.

I think the real reason you are pissed off is simple FOMO. Stop it. Be the person in your family that sets a better example.

Your aunt and uncle have split up. To split from one's life partner is probably one of the most stressful life events. It's not gossip. Lives have been shattered here. But you've made it all about you. This is pretty typical of teens and shows you've got some growing up to do. That your sister didn't tell you makes her seem more mature, more empathetic than you. Don't worry. It's not fatal. It will come.

@Bringmewineandcake

Are you sure your sister isn't just bullshitting you? Hence the 'not her place to say'...maybe she doesn't actually know.

No, she definitely does. I've been hearing them talking about it but whenever I walk in the room when they're talking about it everything is silent. I know that's what they talk about as I'm always hearing my aunt and uncle's names.

How is it their business? How is it yours?