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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How do teenage boys in all boys school meet girls their age?

30 replies

NYCMom33 · 06/09/2020 13:55

My 15 year old son wants to socialize with girls his age. No dating, just wants experience taking and getting to understand the opposite sex. We are in Marylebone. Any ideas? Thanks!!!!

OP posts:
SerenityNowwwww · 06/09/2020 14:00

Well - it’s not brilliant timing - but joining outside clubs, gyms etc. I assume his current school doesn’t mix 6th form of have a ‘sister’ school?

SerenityNowwwww · 06/09/2020 14:00

Or church? Youth groups etc

Cyclewidow46 · 06/09/2020 14:03

My son went to an all boys school. There's usually an all girls school fairly local too . He met girls on the bus and train as well as the usual clubs etc.

TalbotAMan · 06/09/2020 14:05

Unless he has a sister, with great difficulty. There are (or were in my day) very few leisure pursuits available for both sexes. Church was more interested in preventing fornication and unmarried pregnancy than facilitating the next generation -- which may have something to do with the way the Church is dying out.

Possibly theatre if he's that way minded.

lakesidefall · 06/09/2020 14:09

Sisters of friends was DH's answer.
Along with some more formal mixing with an all girls school.
Otherwise mixed sex clubs, theatre or some sports clubs.
We met shortly after he left an all boys school and I would say that he along with most of his friends were very obviously the products of an all boys education.

homemadecommunistrussia · 06/09/2020 14:12

Tricky at the moment. dd has friends from a local boys school, as far as I know they met playing nintendo at mutual friends houses.

AuntieStella · 06/09/2020 14:15

Sisters of friends

Or let him hang out with his mates in a (not too scary) local park

Encourage him to join clubs - what are his interests? Scouts/cadets? A genuinely mixed sport - ultimate frisbee, muggle quidditch, badminton, tennis, kayaking?

jessstan2 · 06/09/2020 14:16

Mine did, he and friends went around with a group of girls who went to another school and they had friends who went to yet other schools. Boys have sisters and neighbours. Also single sex schools usually arrange events with a school of the opposite sex.

They meet girls when they go out socially or do non-school activities.

My son's school admitted girls in the sixth form, that happened while he was still there and it was very successful. The school is now co-ed.

In years gone by all secondary schools were single sex; mine was and so was my husband's. We had no trouble meeting people :-).

Hardbackwriter · 06/09/2020 14:18

As someone who went to a single sex school and who socialised with boys from the boys school:

Drama, orchestra, running clubs, Duke of Edinburgh (not run by the school, obviously) - there must be other mixed-sex activities but those ones come to mind. In my experience, too, once those initial contacts had been formed then it naturally bled into larger shared groups of friends - I never played an instrument but loads of my male friends were friends of some of the boys that played in the orchestra with some of my friends. There were also more casual/incidental contacts - I went for a drink last night with one of my closest friends still who I first met because he got on my friend's bus - but I guess he doesn't already have those and you can't really create that if it doesn't naturally exist.

SerenityNowwwww · 06/09/2020 14:19

Or has he ever been at a mixed school or have friends at a mixed school? Widen the friendship group. Maybe look at a mixed sixth form (I assume he will be in 6th form next year)?

Hardbackwriter · 06/09/2020 14:19

@TalbotAMan

Unless he has a sister, with great difficulty. There are (or were in my day) very few leisure pursuits available for both sexes. Church was more interested in preventing fornication and unmarried pregnancy than facilitating the next generation -- which may have something to do with the way the Church is dying out.

Possibly theatre if he's that way minded.

Erm, I take it your day was rather a long time ago?!
orangenasturtium · 06/09/2020 15:27

My DC went to single sex secondary schools with a mixed sixth form. The schools had sister/brother schools that they did activities with eg some clubs, social events. They all did extra curricular activities outside of school like sport, music, drama where they met friends of both sexes. They also met friends of the opposite sex through school friends at parties or other social events.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend it but there was also a lot of online chat eg talking to friends of friends on Faccebook.

It's a bit trickier at the moment as a lot of things aren't running although some are online. We are in the same borough and some of the activities my DC used to do are running online events still (they are at uni now but still get the newsletters).

SerenityNowwwww · 06/09/2020 16:08

A few of us must all be in the same postcode (eyes neighbours suspiciously...)

frustrationcentral · 06/09/2020 16:10

I went to an all girls school, there was a boys school nearby and the boys used to finish slightly earlier and come and hang around the gates Grin!

Other than that as others have suggested clubs? Church? Part time job?

SerenityNowwwww · 06/09/2020 16:13

Or something charity wise, Duke of Edinburgh, cadets (there’s one near the queen mother) but I don’t know what’s open right now! There are some online computer courses - not sure if the kids get to ‘meet’ virtually though.

It’s a tough age - too old for ‘kids’ clubs and classes, and too young for the pub...

Heartlake · 06/09/2020 16:14

Theatre group, swimming team, cricket, tennis, army cadets, music groups?

PlateTectonics · 06/09/2020 16:15

I went to an all girls school, but we sometimes did joint events (concerts, plays etc) with a nearby boys school. Anything like that?

If he's sporty, IME the most unisex sports are tennis and swimming.

Would he be interested in venture scouts?

Otherwise, it was mainly through friends with siblings close in age and of the opposite sex.

bringbacksideburns · 06/09/2020 16:17

My son did Explorer scouts, Duke of Edinburgh awards and then the summer he left school the NCS scheme which he absolutely loved and was where he met his first girlfriend.

Also if he goes to sixth form he'll make lots of new friends and start talking more to girls.

Pagwatch · 06/09/2020 16:23

dd in girls school with no helpful male siblings so we've experienced this.

her male mates are from swimming club, drama and meeting boys at mixed parties. during lockdown its obviously more tricky but 15 is old enough for social media to help. she's done group zooms where she's met new people too.
in my experience (with her older brother) teenagers reach a point where they will absoutely find a way. you cant help except by encouraging them to mixed sex clubs

Pagwatch · 06/09/2020 16:24

lol

thats mixed -sex clubs
not mixed sex-clubs

SerenityNowwwww · 06/09/2020 16:48

Haha - at least until they’ve left school and gone to uni...

mocktail · 06/09/2020 16:51

Grin at mixed sex clubs

DrDreReturns · 06/09/2020 16:57

My boys school arranged discos with a nearby girls school. Obviously that's tricky with social distancing. When I was in 6th form I joined a running club outside of school and was able to socialise with girls there.

Andi2020 · 06/09/2020 21:00

In town with friends
That age go to McDonald's KFC etc
Can they chat to girls there

SerenityNowwwww · 06/09/2020 21:20

It will all be tourists!