DD 14, train home late?

[Maurice169]

My 14 year old daughter’s angry with me and is refusing to let me pick her up from her friends. She’s insisting she gets the train home at 10 pm instead. It’s 1 stop then a 5 minute walk from the station, it’s generally a safe area and she’s done this many times, just not quite so late.
Is 10 pm to late for 14 year old girl to catch train home?

I wouldn't have allowed my daughter to do that at 14. Simply not worth the risk imo.

It would be a no from me too.

BTW, I would be telling her she can't "refuse" anything you decide is best without consequence.

I’d walk and collect her from the station.

DD wouldn't have been laying down the law to me at 14.

Can you not just get her from the station then? That’s a compromise

DD wouldn't have been laying down the law to me at 14.

Exactly. It's preposterous.

At the very least I'd collect her from the station. I'm quite over cautious so if it was my DD I'd probably drive to her friend's regardless of any potential tantrums. Is it a quiet area? I'd be more comfortable if the train was fairly busy. If it's nearly empty it's more risky imo.

I wouldn't allow that on her own.

I used to get the last bus home from friends when I was about that age (parents didn't drive so if I wanted to have a social life that was the only option).

That was back in the 90s though

No, no way, not any of it, especially telling me what was acceptable.

I would be telling her what would happen tonight and when you’re both calm sit and have a discussion about why not.

It would be a definite no for me. Also as pp have said, she would not be laying down the law at 14.

Nope!

My 14 year old wouldn’t speak to me like that. I’d have gone around and picked her up as soon as she ‘told’ me what was happening.

10 pm is far too late for a 14 year old to be out catching trains and walking home.

Too late to get the train home and agree with others, who does she think she is insisting on anything?! Pick her up as you planned to and then I think stern words are required.

My DD would not be telling me what’s she doing, she’s be sitting in her room without a phone now and wouldn’t even be out as I’d of collected her straight away.

My way or you don’t go simple as. My DD is only 12 so hoping things stay the way they are between us as we have a good relationship.

It's a no from me. I have a 15yr old and am having to permit lots but that would be a risk too far

All I seem to do is dish out the discipline lately; all she does is push back😧
Thanks for the opinions. She’s back now, got the train, not talking to me still, I let her know how worried I was.

As a 21 yo I was been abused verbally and intimidated on the train on the way home from a sports training. I hadn't had any alcohol, was sweaty after training and in tracksuit bottoms, boots and a hoody. I felt ill equipped to deal with it. I was an adult, who at that point had lived alone for 3 years, paid rent and had a job. There is no way in hell I would allow a 14yo to potentially be exposed to that. She gets picked up or she doesn't go.

@Maurice169 I think you need to let her know a lot more than your worry quite frankly. Why are you letting your DD make the decisions?

I don’t understand why she didn’t want a lift?

That would be a no

In my area fine. People don't lock their front doors around here, though,

Is she really where you think she is? Most teens are grateful for lifts so I would be suspicious something else is going on..

@BigSandyBalls2015 that’s actually a very good point! DD would much rather a lift over public transport any day so could very well be that she would as somewhere else....