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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Am I wrong?

5 replies

Rosebud2005 · 27/08/2020 19:41

Dh 14 lost his gran at the weekend subddenly. DJ’s mother. We’re all heartbroken. Due to the limitations on guests at the moment we have had to watch who we invite but try and make sure the family are all there. Between dh and his family it was decided no kids would go. I can see the point of his brothers young grandkids and they don’t really get it all anyway but ds is a teenager. He went to her husbands, his grandad when he was 10. I know that was probably a bit young at the time but really he coped amazingly. The thing is since he joined our family, we rarely see anyone, aunties uncles, cousins and his grannies are the only two people in our entire family he has any real connection to as he sees them pretty loch every week and makes their tea etc ... the little things. I feel these little things in his life are so far bigger than anyone will ever realise. I have fought with dh on this and said I want our son there, and that I was outraged that he could decide this without even mentioning it.. tough was the response! He has now apparently told his brother to include him since I spoke to ds myself about it and he said he would like to be there. He can handle it just fine whereas dh said to me that he didn’t like being at grandads funeral last time - I mean who does? Nobody likes funerals, they make us sad but we get through it together as a family. Am I wrong?

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Rosebud2005 · 27/08/2020 19:43

So sorry about all the typos!

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GisAFag · 27/08/2020 23:04

Let him go if he wants to. My ds went to his grandads funeral service (he was 15 at the time) but not the wake as he didn't want to.

DramaAlpaca · 27/08/2020 23:07

Of course he should go.

Darbs76 · 28/08/2020 13:56

I agree with you. My two sons helped carry my dad into the service, age 26 and 15. I was super proud of them, my then 10yr old went with her cousins to place a rose on her grandads coffin. I think it’s important for children to see death as part of life. They did get very upset when I did the eulogy and mentioned how much my dad’s grandchildren meant to him and told stories of things he liked to do with them, but they were fine after a few hugs from everyone

Rosebud2005 · 28/08/2020 15:08

This is what I mean - what funeral doesn’t make you sad? He’s only been with us since he was seven and basically although our families are massive his grandparents other than us have been the one constant just about every week. He goes up makes their tea, gets his pocket money from them.. these little things mean so so much in his life and I want him to hold on to the happy memories but also to be able to handle these things we have to also deal with in life x

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