Guidelines for a 14year old boy.

[Bristolmum9]

I went away for a few days and left my 14year old son in the care of his aunty. This did not work well, she cheerfully said she had hardy seen him for the 3/4 days I was away. He spent time round friends houses.
I am going away again and want to put in some guidelines. I am separated from his father who lives locally and works during the day. My son does not always want to stay there problematic relationship with step-mum.
If he stays at friends should I phone the parents to check. Should I just maintain phone contact with son and trust he is where he says he is. I am going to be away 4 nights and this could be divided between his dad, his grandma and friends.
Looking for advice so son does not feel he has freedom to do what he likes while respecting his growing need for independence.

He is 14. It is your responsibility to make the appropriate arrangements with the appropriate people for the duration of your absence. I would go so far as to say it would be negligent of you to leave any part of the arrangements down to your son. Don’t you want to go away safe in the knowledge that you know where and with whom he will be staying with each night?

Make the necessary arrangements, let the other adults know his plans for the other nights and check in each night with the adults he's staying with.