School will not stop DC leaving building

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My DD doesn’t like some of her classes, and skips them with her friend. I know this is bad and have obviously spoken to her about it. The school know. However, they seem to have no strategy for stopping it. They seem unable and unwilling to stop her leaving the building. I am very worried about her safety - she is 14 but looks younger. The school say the doors have to be open in case there’s a fire and they can’t keep an eye on them all, so they can’t stop the kids leaving. Outside school hours I always know where she is and I don’t know how they can be so blasé about it. I have spoken to school (guidance and Head) often about this. I hoped she/they might be better after lockdown, but no. Is this a normal school reaction to pupils wandering off? Is there anything I can try to make them take this more seriously? I’m not over-reacting, am I?

DD's school has a secure entrance but there is a button you can push to get out from the inside.

I also think you are expecting a little too much from the school here OP. What did the guidance/pastoral worker say about it.

My primary school's doors are locked to anyone who tries to enter but are unlocked to anyone trying to leave. These are fire doors and we are not allowed to have them locked and prevent exit from the building. Our school gates are locked so people can't generally just walk in and out if the school playground.

DD's old secondary had a similar system in the doors but they have a public right of way across the grounds. This cannot be locked off. People could therefore access the grounds but not the school. Many schools are like this ime.

OP - I do think you have to do more to sanction your Dd over this. It is not just between the school and your child. As your DC is still a child you are also responsible for her - it is a three way thing.

I'd your school knows that you aren't going to do anything about her missing school then she's even more likely to do it I'd imagine.

Primary schools tend to be locked up during the day, secondary schools not.

You can’t request that a secondary school lock its gates to prevent your child doing a runner. You also can’t expect teachers to chase or physically block her way.,

I work in a new build secondary school which is very secure, but the school I went to as a teenager was very open with a public footpath through it and lots of movement between buildings science blocks, art blocks etc. Some older schools just weren't designed in the same way and are really difficult to be make fully secure.

@SmellsLikeAHamsterCage

Ask them how they stop unwanted people getting in? If they can't, then there's a potential that a paedophile could get in, which would be a serious safeguarding issue. I'd take it to the board of governors.

It’s easier to stop people getting in than out.

Students do not just leave and go wandering from my school. That’s a massive safeguarding issue. We would have to call the police every time a child left and was not able to be found. I would also contact ofsted and they will be on it.
However getting to the root of the problem and addressing it in a united way with the school is important. This is not just an issue between her and school, I’m actually shocked that you think it’s not your issue to deal with like that

The school has a duty of care for your child when the child is with them.

Most schools have measures in place to stop children wandering off the premises (and people wandering in). I would take this further if I were you - what if your daughter were to have an accident whilst she was in the care of the school? She is a minor in their care - how would they feel about that?

There should, at the very least, be an electronic register at the start of every lesson-if DD isn’t present, it would be simple to flag that immediately. You need to contact the head of year (at least), point out the safeguarding issue inherent in her being awol and demand request a system whereby her absences are flagged up and both school and you swing in with immediate sanctions-she is going to get a taste for this skiving (even if it’s for a ‘good’ reason now, it will soon become a choice) and it’s not likely to end well.

Ask them how they stop unwanted people getting in? If they can't, then there's a potential that a paedophile could get in, which would be a serious safeguarding issue. I'd take it to the board of governors

Many schools have doors which allow people to exit but are locked to those trying to enter.

Many schools cannot have locked gates to their playgrounds. This is more likely at secondary, and can fit into safeguarding measures with no problems.

How is she getting out OP? Is she walking out of an open gate or jumping over a wall? There's quite a difference between the the two in terms of your conversation with the school.

My school has open gates and open doors. The system to stop paedos is that kids wear a uniform, staff and sixth form wear lanyards and visitors wear badges. Anyone not wearing these is challenged.

We can’t lock the gates because sixth form and teachers come and go at any time.

Ofsted know and this is fine.

There should be a system for flagging up when she is not in lessons and a procedure for looking for her.

A secondary school cannot physically stop a child leaving - I have seen students scale a 10ft high fence to get out

This. I went to a secondary school on a military base abroad and still managed to "escape" the school and the base (although the fallout was so bad we only did it once). Another I went to was a multi site school with no gates.

What is it about those particular classes do you know? Teacher/the subject or is it the friend who has the issue?

Children can leave my school at any time they want. The buildings have electronic locks on to stop people coming in, but they have a button on the inside to let them out without a code. That's so that we can leave a building if there is a problem.

Our school has several buildings over a large site, and if your school is similar it may well be that there physically isn't a way to lock the kids in. The vast majority of kids do not need to be locked into the site, as they remain in school whenever they are supposed to be there. Every year we have a few known truants, where they are flagged on the register and if they aren't in the lesson we need to notify pastoral who will then start a search party. If they have left the school site (can be checked on CCTV if they've used the actual entrances) then we notify parents and police to try and bring them back.

Can you delve deeper into what the problem is? Your dd is more likely to open up to you than she is to talk to school staff, isn't she? If you can get to the bottom of what the problem is then school are more likely to be able to work with you to find a solution.

Sorry but this is a parenting issue not a school issue.

My DD is almost 14 and there's not a chance in hell she would be excused by me for walking out of school and worse, ME blaming the school for it. Her phone is tracked. If tracking is turned off then she doesn't get a phone. If she doesn't have a phone then she's not allowed out of the house other than school. And if she walks out of school I would be going to school with the little sod and standing guard myself.

@CrazylazyJane

I'm sorry? "You can't lock them in?"

Yes you can. I'm a teacher and we electronically close the school gates during school hours, partly to stop unwanted people coming in and but also to stop the kids going walkabout.

The school has a duty of care towards your child and that extends to not letting them roam the streets truanting.

This depends on the layout of the school and rights of way. A school local to me has a right of way right through the campus, so even though there are gates people can wander through. Another school has several buildings along a street so totally impossible to lock the children in.

I think the school could do more. Register for every lesson and if she's not there, call the police and you every single time. Pastoral care involved to find out why she's skipping these particular lessons. Attempts to intervene when she is seen leaving(a chat,another activity etc) . Ofc this depends on staffing levels and resources,but they could try.

However, you sound incredibly passive. Like this is just something that happens to you and your daughter and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Any suggestions of you taking responsibility and being in charge is met with "yeah,but no.." and you are her actual parent. You expect the school to do way more than you are willing. If you're the same in any meeting with them I can understand why they've taken the stance of "we can't stop her" ,even if it's wrong.

What exactly are YOU doing in supporting your daughter and her school to keep her there?

@HouchinBawbags

Sorry but this is a parenting issue not a school issue.

My DD is almost 14 and there's not a chance in hell she would be excused by me for walking out of school and worse, ME blaming the school for it. Her phone is tracked. If tracking is turned off then she doesn't get a phone. If she doesn't have a phone then she's not allowed out of the house other than school. And if she walks out of school I would be going to school with the little sod and standing guard myself.

Be careful with your thoughts here.

My ds use to leave his first secondary.

He's autistic and they refused him leaving using his time out card from class.

He was stressed and self harming. Bullied and pinned against walls by his neck. School didn't deal with Iran's instead said Ds misunderstood because he's autistic (they were fuckers)

He eventually had a knife pulled on him in a classroom by this bully.

I would never encourage ds to leave school and certainly have concerns that kids disappear.

But my ds being able to leave instead of being too stressed and self harming and because he'd been strangled twice that day and basically ignored was his lifeline.

He knew if he left where to go and who to contact.

I'd have much rather worked with school to have him supported onsite but what can you do with a school where the seniors screws up a piece of paper and throws it at you?

Punishment isn't always the correct route. There is always a reason and the child needs to feel safe to communicate that and have trust that everyone wants to help them.

Good grief. If my DD skipped school and I knew about it, there would be hell to pay.

No phone
No pocket money
Grounded
Etc etc

It's called being the parent. Why are you walking on egg shells with her.

I'd walk through fire for my DD but also I expect respect in return and standards to be met.

Think you need to look at your core relationship as a parent as this seems like just one aspect.

@FippertyGibbett

This is a safeguarding issue, if the kids can get out then anyone can get in. All the schools round here have a high fence all the way around the school. You either have to buzz at the gate or front door to get in.

At my dd's secondary there is an intercom to get in but you just need to press the button at the gate and it opens automatically.

Same with vehicular access. Intercom to get on the site but a sensor opens the gate to exit.

@itsgettingweird that sounds awful for your son and you. Some schools are indeed shit , in many ways especially when it comes to SEND and SEMH.

However, OP wants the school to stop DD from leaving and take responsibility for that.

I didn’t know there was such security at secondary schools now. I’m a primary teacher and onviously our site is fenced and locked.

When I was at secondary in rural Lincolnshire it was a collection of buildings just off the road into the village, surrounded by fields and woods. I don’t think I attended many maths lessons to be honest; my best friend lived just across the field from school and we went there.

[quote ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble]@itsgettingweird that sounds awful for your son and you. Some schools are indeed shit , in many ways especially when it comes to SEND and SEMH.

However, OP wants the school to stop DD from leaving and take responsibility for that.[/quote]
Well they should be doing something.

The only reason I'm my case I was glad the school were shit and didn't stop him is because he actually wasn't safe there

I agree if the op wants the school to stop her she has to also do her bit.

The main starting point is why. Punishment may make it worse. Understanding and finding the route cause means finding solutions. If she doesn't follow those then I'd say consequence.

The school should notice her missing at the start of her next class. At that point in time you should be contacted.

I would also expect a school to punish a student for skipping class. At our school that would be detention to start and could escalate with repeated behavior. If the school isn’t punishing, you have to do it yourself.

Her phone needs to be tracked. If her phone is turned off, then punish her by taking her phone and replacing it with one of those phones designed for senior citizens or little children that just has number buttons or even just a couple of preprogrammed numbers.

Very good point. The question is why. She "doesn't like" some classes is not good enough. The fact that she also takes a friend , might mean the problem is someplace else.

Are they egging each other on? Is one acting as support to the other? Why don't they like the classes and why do they think skipping them is the solution?

There are many questions that need answers, but the parents in question need to be involved,supportive,communicate with the school and put the work in at home.

Mildly surprised at the poster who claimed that the school needs high security fences because a paedophile might get in.

The OPs dd is 14: this is a secondary school. In other words, it is full of students who make their own way to and from school, and who probably go out into town after school and at the weekend.

Of course, there might be excellent reasons to have a secure gate and buzzing system, but the notion that the children must never be in the presence of random adults is not one of them.

I also agree that this school seems very lax and this is a pastoral issue that they should be dealing with. It's not that a 14yo can't look after herself to some extent: it is the combination of her not getting her education and the decided risk of her ending up in bad company during her truancy.