Is this normal or is my DS depressed?

[Inastatus]

My DS is 13 and has mild dyspraxia. He struggles academically and doesn’t like school so has quite enjoyed learning from home and his mood has generally seemed fine. However he constantly asks me if he’s anything ‘bad’ (by that he’s told me previously that he means ‘I’m not dumb/ugly/I do have friends and they do like me!). He also follows this with ‘and I’m not depressed’?

This happens at least half a dozen times a day and once he’s had reassurance from me that he’s none of these things he will get on with whatever he’s been doing. It’s become a sort of habit where he just has to ask the question.

We’ve talked many times about his mood, his low self-esteem, why he doesn’t think his friends like him etc and Ive tried to get to the bottom of why he has a constant need for reassurance from me. He always ends up quite happy that he doesn’t think he’s depressed.

Obviously I don’t mind him checking in with me if it makes him feel better but I’m worried that it’s not normal and there could be an issue.

The vast majority of the time he seems fine, I hear him laughing and joking with his friends either on the PS4 or face to face, he is sociable and enjoys going out and doing stuff with us. He is good at self-limiting the amount of time he spends gaming as he knows that can sometimes affect his mood if he’s on too long so I don’t think it’s anything related to that.

I’d be grateful for any advice.

Thanks.

This seems more driven by anxiety to me, ie he is anxious about being, or being labelled as, depressed and therefore seeking reassurance. Could you look into the ways that anxiety can manifest and see if that rings any bells for your DS?

No bloody fighting - You could be right. He follows some YouTuber who he finds funny but who also talks about having suffered from depression and I remember him getting quite upset hearing about this. Maybe it is more that he is worried about it happening.

Thanks.

You know your boy best OP but it was the repeatedly asking/seeking reassurance that suggested anxiety to me. Now you've said about the YouTube stuff it makes more sense. Would he be open to a proper chat about depression? Maybe ease the anxiety around it a bit and break some myths he might have? Obviously it can be a terrible thing to live with but there are treatments and alternative ways of coping with it. Without proper understanding he might be more worried than necessary,fuelling the anxiety.

Thanks again Nobloodyfighting - I think you have given me a light bulb moment and a possible way forward

No problem at all, hope everything works out well