Hello all. I just confirmed today that my 15 yo daughter (16 next week, but this apparently started months ago) Is sexually active, and I feel so disappointed and full of despair. We’ve had so many conversations about making good decisions. It is not that I expected her to be a 40yo virgin, but I really thought she would wait until she was a little older.
I did not freak out (even though I wanted to cry and yell) and tried to focus on her safety and well being. She has what I call the triple A (adopted, ADHD, anxiety) which I feel all contributed to her decision. I feel so sad because I know the stats on girls who become sexually active at an early age, and one of them is that they are more prone to depression later in life. I also wonder what role the adoption played as adolescence is such a tough time and there is such a yearning by adopted kids to feel accepted and loved. My husband and I love her to pieces, but we’ve learned that’s not enough to combat the adoption wound. She has constantly tried to act older than she is, and it does not help that social media and her friends have her convinced that EVERYONE is vaping, doing drugs, and having sex, etc. She is strong willed and parenting has been exhausting at times.
I know it’s not the end of the world. I am just trying to figure out where to go from here? My husband and I are vigilant parents. When dd started dating this kid, I met his mother and explained that he couldn’t be at our house when there wasn’t a parent at home and vice versa. Doors had to be open. I feel betrayed by his mother because she obviously was not supervising. Probably not as important to her as it was to me...I feel like it’s ridiculous not to allow her to go over there anymore (the damage is done), but that is really what I’d like to do. I feel confused about the rules in general— which I never am. I haven’t shared this new info with my husband, partly because I don’t want him to be as heartbroken as I am. I would appreciate any thoughts...