15 year old daughter with Anorexia

[lovinit]

My DD is 15 and has AN since prob March this year but by the time we recognised the disorder and got through to CAMHS it was July. She has had 6 weeks of FBT but her weight keeps dropping and her mental state is uncontrollable now and her control stronger and her aggressive and violent reaction is becoming frieghtening . Her foul language and abuse is now secondary to her physical behaviour. We are trying to find a good eating disorder counseller or otherwise but they seem to be so busy. Anyone know anyone to recommend in surrey and or any advice? We are so worn out and feeling despair . My DD is a smart girl with so much going for her ... it is so sad. Our family is under so much stress and its now so dysfunctional.

Any advice so much appreciated.

This organisation offer a different approach that might help.

www.maudsleyparents.org

You have all my sympathy x

Remember that her physical outbursts could be her way of control. He eating is being controlled by others so she's lost or is loosing that so she needs to control another part of herself.
Have you tried the live in places? Counselling, whilst a long road, will probably help.
She will need to know not only that she is told she is lived she needs to believe it to. Not telling her she's smart, she should know better, or asking her questions as to why she's like this. Let her talk, hug her, be there for her. Long road ahead.

HI i am so sorry you are going through this. My DD age 14 (then) was diagnosed with AN In January 2019, we were referred to CAMHS and we were with them until Dec 2019.
What you are going through sounds very much like what we went through with my DD. The abusive language, violent outbursts, running out of the house in the night... in the snow... trying to get out of moving cars... physically hitting out and kicking me. The fact is that she was terrified when she was behaving like this, having panic attacks.
It was all so extreme, and so upsetting. The whole family was so affected.
We became totally dysfunctional, no family structure. Very hard for DS to cope with. And my DH was not in a good place himself and really struggled.
We kept going with weekly (then slightly less often towards the end) CAMHS sessions for nearly a year. Being weighed each week and family therapy (only me and DD) and although my DD did not open-up as much as would have really helped we eventually managed to gain enough weight for her to be well. She refused to get to the weight that they would have liked her to be, but time helps.
What I can tell you now, is that health-wise she is much better and family relationships are easier. We even, at times, laugh and talk about it all. Life is still complicated around food, I won't pretend it's gone away, she does have bulimic episodes and worries about putting on weight, but she doesn't starve herself anymore, she knows that this is really bad for so many aspects of her health.
Crucially in the early days it's about trying to get some of the weight back on gradually - This is what CAMHS say. They work to get the weight on to the point where the therapy-side can start. Apparently the brain needs to be in a better place in order to the therapy to work.
I can see this now.
Watch her Social Media as this can be a very triggering place.
DD was seeing lots of 'aspirational' (NOT) images of very skinny (anorexic) girls promoting thinness... and lots more.
CAMHS got us back on track - they start with a meal plan. But this did not work so well for my DD - she had to count calories to feel safe. But she ate... and that was the main thing.
BEAT - is a good resource.
It did affect DD's schooling, but she was determined to stay in school, but missed a lot of lessons. But tbh, the main thing is just to get them well and then take care of the rest afterwards.
Pressure is still a big trigger for my DD.
I sincerely wish you and your DD well, and I think a good ED therapist could be a good route to follow, but I do hope that CAMHS are offering weekly/bi-weekly sessions? Because although my DD hated them, they really helped to keep her on track (although, always up and down, if you know what I mean).
Not sure if my post is very helpful as such, but I know that when we were in the thick of it, I would have been so reassured to know that what was happening in our house was 'normal'... or like someone else's situation.
Wishing you all well x You will get through this, because you love and care, and you are 'on-it'. x